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Is Your Significant Other On a Dating Website

Updated on May 1, 2017

The Hook Up Generation

How Well Do You Know Your Mate?

I am writing this hub because a very good friend of mine, who was about to get married, found out her two year relationship with her fiancé was deceitful. She always felt that he was not being faithful and ladies if your gut tells you that then listen to it.

Right before their wedding, a single friend of hers, saw her fiancés profile on not one but three different dating sites. Talk about breaking a girls heart. She was ready to walk down the isle in a not only deceitful relationship, but he never used protection with the women he had sex with and tested positive for HPV and HIV.

How devastated she was. Not only being embarrassed by his infidelity to her family and friends but also having to get tested for something she never asked for.

Let this be a lesson to everyone that just when you think you know someone you don't know them at all.

How many times have men and women come out of the closet after being married and they have been living a lie for 20 years or more because they are gay?

You may know their favorite color, favorite food, favorite close, where they like to eat out, what kind of movies they like to watch but do you know the important things about the them.

When You Play Around You Can't Have Happiness

Why Are Married People Cheating?

Modern Technology has made it easier then ever to cheat. You can have your fantasies fulfilled and not have any emotional attachment. There are websites just for sex., dating, finding a new relationship, or just getting some good old cuddle time that you have been lacking.

What are the risks?

There are many risks for cheaters. You are putting yourself at risk for STD's, HIV, HPV, hepatitis, genital herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis and many other sexually transmitted diseases that have no cure.

You are risking your marriage. You may love your spouse and never want your marriage to end, but if you are caught your marriage may be over. Almost everyone has seen the movie "Fatal Attraction" and it could happen to you. You may hook up with a psycho who doesn't take it lightly that you won't leave your spouse or significant other. Then we can watch all of you on Investigation Discovery "Wives with Knives" one of my favorites.

Your spouse could also end your life. People who can't trust their spouse after many years of being in a relationship can become so devastated that they just try or succeed in killing you. Do you know how many husband and wives sit in prison today for killing their spouse in a jealous rage? Well its a pretty good number.

People will forget what you did and forgive what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Know Your Status

It seems that married people or people who are in a committed relationship, shouldn't have to worry about getting tested for sexually transmitted diseases but everyone should. Not because you don't trust your partner but because you should always know your status.

HIV and AIDS have not gone away. They are more prevalent then ever. Sometimes you don't get positive results for up to ten years. It could be someone you dated in the past if you are newly married. Wouldn't you want to know?

They Can Do It Right In Front Of Your Face

It Doesn't Take a Village

You don't need to be a great detective or some wild scientist to find out if your significant other is on a dating website. If you feel the threat is real then join a dating website. Sometimes you can just search pictures and not have to become a member.

You don't have to post your picture, you don't even have to make up a long profile. If you see them on a dating website then it's time to bate them. Put up a fake picture and send them an email. Pick a place to meet up but the first time just go and park far enough away that you can see them, but don't show up. You are collecting evidence and make sure you document everything. Make up some sad story about your grandmother or parent needed you, all will be forgiven and make plans for a second meet up.

In between have some nice little email conversations but don't give out your phone number. Pick their brain. Ask them if they are married, have children, want a fling or are they looking for a serious relationship. You can also follow them if you think something is going on. It would be a nice surprise for you to walk in a restaurant where your spouse is holding hands with another person and walk by their table without saying a word. Play it cool. They can't get out of it because they have been caught.

Don't ever blame the other person they are hooking up with because your spouse or significant other shouldn't be on a dating website in the first place and they shouldn't be saying yes to a meeting.

Do you think it is your fault if your significant other cheats?

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You Are Getting In Too Deep

Signs of a Cheater

There are many signs that will warn you if your spouse is cheating.

    • There is considerably less intimacy or connection in your relationship.
    • Your sex life is practically non-existent
    • Or, there are lot's of new things introduced into sex that were never before
    • Your spouse has a low self-esteem
    • You spouse doesn't show any jealousy about you, no matter what you say
    • You notice your spouse has a sense of confusion about him or her self
    • Your spouse has become lazy, especially around the house
    • Your spouse is more negative
    • Your spouse becomes more critical of you
    • Your spouse seems to be picking fights more often
    • You can't get your spouse to communicate with you (stonewalling)
    • Your spouse gets very defensive if you mention infidelity or affairs
    • Your spouse is suddenly more attentive than usual
    • Your mate is working longer hours at work
    • Your spouse is dressing nicer, looking nicer or there is a sudden interest in appearance
    • You notice charges on credit card statement that don't make sense
    • You are aware of different scents of cologne or after shave lotion on your spouse's clothes
    • Your spouse is indifferent to family events like birthdays and holidays
    • You find your partner has been lying to you about a variety of things
    • Money becomes more of an issue between the two of you
    • The words "I love you" are not spoken by your spouse any longer
    • He/she doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything with you anymore
    • You can't even get your mate to fight with you
    • You feel as if you are being avoided
    • Your partner abandons religious faith
    • Your spouse seems more secretive
    • You discover lipstick smudge on shirt
    • You learn that you have an STD and you have not strayed
    • When you ask for reassurance about cheating, you do not feel satisfied with the response
    • Your spouse is bored
    • There is less intimacy in your relationship

It doesn't take a lot to figure it out. Be wise, stay on top of your marriage and ask the good lord above for help during this difficult time. There will be so many questions in your head but the answer is none of it is your fault. There is no reason anyone could give for cheating.

In Closing

I know this is a very touchy subject, but it needs to be told. No one should have to find out that the person they love and have made a life with are cheating on them. If you don't want to be faithful or can't be, then leave or stay single.

No one gets married to get divorced or to separate. It is very hard to trust again after infidelity.

If You Must Be a Cheater Don't Leave Home Without Them.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 7 months ago

      "She always felt that he was not being faithful and ladies if your gut tells you that then listen to it." Very true!

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself!

      If something doesn't feel right to you it's probably not right for you! The reality is too often people ignore "red flags" and their gut instincts. "Follow your heart" is code for ignore your brain.

      If you suspect your mate is cheating assume you're right!

      Unless you have a history of being paranoid and insecure there is no reason to doubt yourself. Secondly if you are at a point where you don't (trust) him/her the relationship is over already.

      No one is going to be "all in" with someone they don't trust.

      As for cheaters they're a fairly optimistic bunch.

      1. Cheaters don't expect to get caught.

      2. Cheaters don't expect to catch STDs/unplanned pregnancies.

      Their mindset is if their mate/spouse never knows then they won't get hurt. Believe it or not in your friend's case there are some men who feel they can cheat on their significant others all the way until the night of their bachelor party with a stripper....

      (Their last night of freedom)

      And then suddenly "retire" the day they say: "I do".

      The truth is they're not only being dishonest with their mate but also with themselves! Commitment comes BEFORE the marriage.

      Anyone who is an "Incessant Cheater" is likely to view marriage/monogamy as being the equivalent of going on a very "strict diet". It's not a matter of (if) but (when) they'll cheat.

      Their motto would be: "Variety is the spice of life!"

      I do agree that technology has made it "easier" for people to cheat who (want) to cheat. It's important to note that the person wanted to cheat to begin with. Cigarettes are legal but for someone who has no interest in smoking their availability has no affect on them. What I believe has changed the most is the mindset of people. There was a time where a married person felt the need to lie to the "other woman/man" to keep them in the dark.

      Today there are lots of sites and apps where people (knowingly hookup with married or cohabitating people).

      The only one left in the dark is their spouse or mate.

      We live in an era where a simple Google search of "nude women" or men instantly fills our laptop or phone with pornographic images. There are free porn sites and strip clubs AKA "Gentlemen's Clubs" are everywhere. I imagine in the future prostitution will be legalized.

      If someone is incline to have sex with others without the fear of being arrested and losing their job... we'll see more people cheating especially if they're fighting or unhappy with a spouse.

      They'll simply use their lunch hour for a mid-day "quickie".

      The goal of most cheaters is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Rarely does a cheater look to replace one relationship with another one. They want to compliment what they already have. Whatever they fill is missing or upsets them hasn't risen to the level where they want a divorce. That option was always available. They cheat in order to "have it all".