Is she my real friend?
I have a friend that I haven’t seen for the longest time now, the last time I saw her was almost 3 years ago before she went abroad to work as a nurse there. Yes, she went abroad to work as a nurse. She sacrificed everything just for her family and for her future as well. She didn’t care if there will be a lot of adjustments that had to be done, and not to mention, since she will be staying there for 2 years, she’s going to miss her family badly. Plus the fact that she’ll only be relying to herself there, no family is around that would support and would take good care of her whenever she’s not feeling well. Basically, she will be doing every thing all by herself and I know, it’s really hard for her since she’s not used to it.
During her first year there, she’s still made it appoint to call or text me to check if how I am doing and of course, to update me if how was her life there and her experiences working as a nurse for the very first time in a foreign land. If my memory serves me right, the last time we talked over the phone was when she congratulated me when I passed the Philippine Nursing Licensure Exam that was 2008 and she stated how happy she was for me, since we dreamed together when we were in college that we really wanted to become a register nurse in the near future. She was really glad that I’ve accomplished what I’ve been dreaming of, back in college. We really had a very nice conversation on the phone during that time.
However, a couple of months had passed after that conversation but still I haven’t received a call from her, all she managed to do were to send me text messages once in a while saying she’s sorry for she haven’t called or text more often than she used to and I totally understand her since I thought that she might be too busy with her work and I don’t want to bother her.
But after a couple of months since the last time I received a text message from her, I heard nothing from her at all, this prompted me to send her a message via text and check her if how was she doing, was she doing good and how was every thing there. She did respond to me and I’ve noticed that it was a cold reply. She did respond in a very nice way but I’ve noticed that there was no eagerness in her text messages; I felt that there was no excitement on her part to receive a message from me. So, I just ended the text message stating how I missed her that she should take good care of herself and the like.
It is definitely heart breaking since the last time we spoke was just through text and it was really the last time. Until this very day, I heard nothing from her and it is heart-wrenching for the reason that she can’t be contacted anymore. And I have no idea if she’s in the country now or something. She didn’t even bother to call me, if she has changed her number. I’m just wondering if how she is doing at this very moment, if she’s okay. It is indeed very painful on my part for I’ve known her for such a long time already and she’s my friend for almost 10 years now. For this reason, I can’t afford to easily forget the friendship I had with her. She definitely stayed by my side during one of the toughest moments of my life back then. This thing really saddened me for the reason that I have no idea at all if I did something wrong to her that leads her to act this way. Just in case, I did a big mistake that made her to get mad at me, even though I couldn’t remember even a single thing that could affect her in a major way, I just hope that she won’t burn bridges. I’m hoping that she would still treasure the friendship since I’ve cherished every moment we had.
However, sometimes I couldn’t help myself but to think that she might want not to continue the friendship she had with me. If she wanted that, all I need is for her to have a very valid reason why she doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore. Even though it is very painful, I will try to understand her and I don’t want to force myself to people who don’t want me anymore in their lives.
I must say, I really missed her, the laughs and the cries that we’ve shared together. She was a kind of friend that I thought who would stick it out with me through thick and thin. But this is life as it is, I have to accept the fact that people come and go, most probably, she has her own life now with new set of friends. I should accept that and I will try to move on.