Is There Really a Specific Amount of Time Before You Get Married?
So Your Relationship is Amazing
The first few months of a new relationship are amazing. Everything is perfect and you can't stand to be apart. You settle into a routine of texting and calling each other constantly just to say "hi". For some people these first few months are enough to make a life changing decision.
It's a nice evening out or maybe a nice evening in. Everything is perfect, amazing, and suddenly he gets down on one knee and proposes. It's only been a few weeks or months into the relationship, but you say yes anyhow.
You're happy, over the moon. You're seeing everything in life through rose colored glasses until...you have to tell your friends. Sure, many will be happy, but there's always that one friend who will tell you every single negative thing they can think of about marrying quickly and they may even try to talk you out of it. This is what drags you back to reality, possibly kicking and screaming.
What to do?
The first thing you need to do is take a step back and make sure you said "yes" for the right reasons
; Do you have chemistry and an amazing connection?
Are the two of you comfortable with each other, and I don't just mean with the few hours at a time you are spending together?
And a big thing to think about...can the two of you spend time apart with friends without freaking out about what the other is doing?
If you've never spent continuous time together you absolutely need to do this!
Can you live with each other or without each other?
I cannot stress this enough...spend continuous time together! This could mean going on a weekend trip, or several, together. If the weekend trips go well then the next step is to take a vacation together.
A vacation takes you completely away from your element and puts you in situations that don't usually pop up at home.
If you can get through these steps then it's time to start scheduling time apart from each other. Both of you need to go out with your friends separately. Have fun and enjoy the time apart. This should not be a time of worry for either of you. There has to be enough trust to know that the other person is having fun, but not cheating. If you don't have that trust then you should not be engaged in the first place.
If you're still reading then you've obviously gotten through all of the before mentioned hurdles and and are now feeling confident about your relationship and your future together, but there are a few more hurdles to jump.
Do you want a long engagement or a short one?
Are you prepared to field questions and gracefully accept criticism from those who don't approve of what's going on?
These are things that you need to be prepared for, especially if you want a short engagement.
Follow your heart
In the end you have to follow your heart! Everyone can tell you what they think and how they feel about the situation, but at the end of the day it's the feelings and decisions of the couple that will override everyone else's opinions. If you get engaged quickly and want to marry just as quickly follow your heart and go for it. If you choose to slow things down and have a long engagement than that is your choice.
Enjoy this time in your life. Embrace your choice and know that you've made the choice that is right for you and your relationship. If all else fails you can always change your mind and elope!
Now if I'm to answer my own questions I'd prefer a very short engagement and also a small wedding with only very close immediate family and friends, although we have discussed getting married when we're in Greece, but before that can happen he has to propose.
We were friends first for a long while and things just sort of started moving in the direction of us being in a relationship. For the most part things have stayed the same. We spend time together and time separately with friends.