- Gender and Relationships
Is He A Dating Master or Disaster?
Whether you are currently in the dating pool or not, most of us have come across a guy who is a Dating Master or Disaster—usually this is revealed on a first date.
A Dating Master is a guy who knows how to plan a date from start to finish. There is an easiness that you feel when in his presence. This guy will have everything planned out, all you have to do is show up. A Dating Disaster is the guy who puts very little thought and effort into courting you— making you wish you had stayed home with your cat instead. Although it's generally pretty obvious which type of guy you are dating (judging by the effort he puts into planning a date) sometimes it's how the actual date is going—is it draining your energy to be with him or do you find yourself wishing it would never end?
There are many thoughts that surround a date—however, know that the main purpose of dating is to give you insight and clarity about a guy. With some men, you can figure this out after just one date and not waste your time. Hurray!
One guy I dated seemed at first to be a Dating Master. Our phone conversations prior to dating came with ease and it seemed like we had a lot in common. When he finally asked me on a date, I was excited to say yes. We figured out a day and time that worked for both our schedules and he confidently told me that he would pick a place and let me know. Since we talked about favorite foods and restaurants, I wasn't worried at all where he was planning on taking me. I was wrong.
When the day of our date came, I began to feel like I was talking to a completely different guy. He moved our date several hours later than our original agreed upon time and when I asked where we were meeting, he didn't know. Then he followed up with suggesting that I meet him at a restaurant in his area—come to find out he lives 30mins away from me—something he neglected to mention.
I suggested that we meet somewhere in the middle. He then asked me to text him a few suggestions of restaurants in my area. Again, seriously....did this guy not know how to work the Internet? As my irritation grew at the thought of our date getting even later I decided to send him some options.
Needless to say, he didn’t accept any of my suggestions. I kept reassuring myself that we had a great connection on the phone, and reminded myself how sexy his voice was in an effort to re-ignite my excitement to meet him…because the fire was dying out quickly.
When I entered the restaurant my date was already there. Good, he's punctual, definitely a plus! As I got closer he stood up to give me a hug—another plus. He was in better shape than what I saw in his photos—more pluses, and as tall as he had claimed in his profile. Yay! Then I noticed that he had taken the initiative to order a drink and an appetizer...that he was already eating. Without me. Hmm....
As I sat down next to him he asked if it was ok if we ate at the bar—as if I really a choice at this point. When the server brought our dinner, mine came out wrong and they had to remake it. My charming date decided to begin eating his own food without any hesitation—he didn't even try to pretend to wait! Over twenty minutes passed, all the while he continued eating his meal. Finally I had to flag down a manager to ask if my dinner was on its way. My date’s response? "Oh yeah, she needs her dinner." Seriously! This guy had no manners and no dating skills. What made it worse is that when we were leaving, he not only asked me to stand up and turn around so that he could check out my butt (which I did not do), before I put my coat on. He also had the nerve to lean in for a kiss at the end of the night (which did not happen).
Being on a date with a Dating Disaster will feel way longer than it actually is and you end up praying for that "emergency" phone call so you can get the hell away from him. If a guy is paying attention, he should be able to tell if there is chemistry by a woman's body language—my knees were facing the bar—not him and my arms were either crossed or my hands were on my lap, all indicating that I wasn't that into him. The guy I went on a date with was either clueless or just didn't care...which goes to show you that looks aren't everything.
Guys, if a woman isn't leaning in towards you, her arms are crossed—a lot, she's not saying much or asking any questions, and/or she acts uneasy when you touch her, take this as a clue that the date is not going well. And certainly don't make it any more awkward by leaning in for a kiss when you part ways! Luckily, not all dates are disasters....
Now, I have also had many dates that were amazing. One date in particular was truly one of the best dates that I had had in a really long time, from start to finish. I also met this guy online...so again, I could only go by photos to judge how attracted I was to him. Our communication was solely through text, so I also didn't know what his voice sounded like nor what his personality would ultimately be. Regardless of those things, he planned a great first date.
We decide to meet just for happy hour at one of my favorite restaurants. When I arrived he was already there and had gotten a table outside. When he stood up to hug me he was a lot taller then I imagined. He was not only very handsome, he had kind eyes and a great smile. Yay!! The moment I sat down a server arrived to take our drink orders, my date looked at me and insisted I order first—this guy definitely had manners. After ordering our drinks we began talking—it felt as if I had known him for years. We bantered with each other, laughed a lot, and before we knew it, hours had gone by. This guy was a breath of fresh air. He asked if I would like to continue the date by moving to a new restaurant for dinner. I said yes and he immediately called to confirm reservations he had already made. This guy was not only sexy, he was confident.
When we got to the next restaurant it turned out to be another one of my favorites. We sat in a quiet booth in the corner. He asked me what types of wine I enjoyed and when the server came he ordered a bottle that fit the exact description of what I liked. When the wine came we toasted and after we had a sip he leaned in for our very first kiss—which was magical. We laughed and talked all the way through a delicious dinner. After we finished, the server surprised me with a tiramisu that had a lit candle in it and wished me happy birthday. I gave my date a funny look because it wasn't my birthday. He leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You should feel special even when it's not your birthday...by the way it's gluten-free," giving me the biggest smile and another amazing kiss. My heart melted.
This was a date I did not want to end. As my Uber arrived we kissed and kissed and kissed—not wanting to let go of each other. I went to bed with a huge smile on my face and an even bigger one when I woke up to the text he sent, "I just woke up...and u were instantly my first thought..." This guy was not only a Dating Master, he was also a guy that I instantly felt a connection with—something that I hadn't felt in a really long time.
Ladies, dating can be incredibly magical and romantic, however if a guy asks you out and doesn't put much effort (if any) into planning a date for you, that's a red flag and potentially a disaster you might want to avoid. A man who makes the time and effort is a man worth getting to know. Even if you don't feel any chemistry, you still might walk away with a guy you could be friends with....and that's never a bad thing.
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