- Gender and Relationships
Is He Causing You The Holiday Blues?
There's nothing more disappointing than a man who avoids spending the holidays with you.
Right when you are labeling your relationship "perfect" you realize it has one major flaw... He doesn't want to celebrate the holidays with you—no Thanksgiving, no Christmas or Hanukkah, no Kwanzaa, no New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day—forget about it.
When he tells you how much he enjoys hanging out with you—you're funny, sexy, beautiful and smart, it can be disheartening and confusing to say the least when he flees from all holidays like a bandit who's just stolen your heart.
What's even worse is when he acts as if the holiday doesn't exist. You might be at the mall or grocery store together and it's filled will Valentine's Day decor and all of a sudden he finds himself overly mesmerized by the ceiling. If a commercial comes on talking about a holiday he will flip the channel faster than you can blink, making you start to wonder if you are seeing things.
When a guy is avoiding the holidays he will do several things:
1. Acts as if the holiday doesn't even exist.
2. Picks a fight a few days before the holiday, so that he has a justifiable reason not to call or be with you.
3. Pre-plans trips (usually out of the state or country) that start several days before the holiday, that go through the holiday and last days after—going with his friends or alone, never inviting you.
4. If he lives where skiing and snowboarding is popular he will be coincidentally doing that on each holiday—again not inviting you.
5. He will be working every holiday (or at least that what he tells you).
6. He will tell you that he doesn't believe in holidays, "they are Hallmark."
7. He will always be with his family—again never inviting you or even making time to also see you on that day.
8. When he's away on the holiday (which most likely he will be) he won't even call or text to wish you, Merry... or Happy...
9. He suddenly feels sick (flu, food poising, cold) on every holiday.
10. He uses his kids, pets, and other family responsibilities as an excuse to not see you on the holidays—even though his ex-wife lives in the same state and has the kids half the time.
Holidays should be a time that you want to spend with someone you care about.
If the guy you are dating is in town spending the holidays with his family, if he truly cares about you he will find and make time to also see you—the eve of a holiday, morning or night of a holiday. If he's out of town, he can still reach out through a phone call (preferably) or text to let you know that he's thinking about you.
Ladies, if a guy claims he's into you, but continues to disappear or never plans time to see you during the holidays—this is a huge red flag. Guys like this usually have commitment issues and furthermore—future issues. Do you really want to be with a guy who doesn't see a future with you, and therefore disconnects on days where you should feel cherished and loved?
You should feel special on holidays, as well as having the opportunity to make him feel special too. And yes, you don't have to only have a designated holiday to do that—but, you should also not be with a man who gives you the holiday blues.
Make yourself a New Year's resolution: "I will only attract men who want to spend the Holidays with me!"