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Is He Panicking At Game Time? -Stephanie Bailey

Updated on January 2, 2015
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

It is not surprising why football is so popular among menthey can relate to the game as if it is their own personal playbook for relationships.

When the season starts (beginning of a relationship) there is an excitement in the air and he is mentally all in. He will enter the stadium (your life) with a fresh new perspective and genuine anticipation. Not only will he plan his schedule around game-days/kickoffs (making the time to call and see you), he will wear his lucky jersey (putting his best efforts in motion to woo you).

Each time there is a great play (date or time seeing you), he becomes more confident and dedicated to continue watching the game (relationship with you). The more touchdowns and field goals (great times together) that happen—the more interested and potentially invested he becomes in you. Yeah!

During game time (deciding where the relationship is going)does he start to panic?

There can be many reasons why a guy will panic during game time: if there is a turn in the game—an unpredictable fumble, sack, or interception that causes his team to lose (something that he didn't like that you said or did) he will start to get frustrated and discouraged (losing interest).

The more dates that do not end with the win that he had hoped for and anticipated—something that can be out of your control, will definitely give him a reason to leave the game (walk away from the relationship). Since this can be unpredictable by him, it will leave you unsure or unclear as to what exactly went wrong. This situation can set you up for being on a losing team. Great.

Unfortunately ladies, its not always something negative that will make a guy panic. What happens when everything is going great (completions, first downs), there are no fumbles or interceptions along the way, and being together is not only easy, but fun? Why does that trigger panic for some men?

When a guy has high expectations of how the game should turn out (comparing you to past relationships that he looks at with nostalgia) even though comparable stats have not been compiled for the season (you haven't spent adequate time together)—there is no question about it—you are bound to be on the losing team.

Ladies, have you ever watched a game of football with a guy who already "knows" what the play should be and when it doesn't happen he starts yelling, "come on, they should have called a running play, not a passing play....”

If he's so great at predicting what should be happening instead of enjoying the game, why bother watching the game at all?

Men who like to "game play predict" will usually display this same behavior when it comes to their love life. They will have a detailed plan in their heads that is filled with unrealistic expectations. Maybe after months of dating, your age—even though you are in the same age group, you no longer fits in his future plans. Or maybe what "should be happening" according to his dating playbook (which is based on relationships from his past, and input from his team- mates)—isn’t, therefore trading you seems like the best option for him. Really?!

In some cases, there is the one "perfect" relationship he is set on mimicking (nostalgia for a past season)—in the search for that same mind blowing "feeling" it gave him. Seriously?! If the past relationship was so perfect—she wouldn’t have been traded to another team (new relationship) in the first place. This isn’t rocket science.

It is easy to want to dissect a relationship to view under a microscope (picking apart each play call, and result) to find reasons why the relationship (game) you are in isn't meant to last. I admit that I am often guilty of that. But when the person you are with has a natural way of making you laugh, makes you want to be a better person, supports your desires and dreams, and you have chemistry—why wouldn't you want to start building a winning team together?

Bottom line, if the relationship you are in feels one way (a possible winning season), but when it is actually game time (time to put those feelings into action) and he begins to suffer debilitating pre-game jitters—then maybe it's time to recruit a player who is in the game for all the right reasons. A player who realizes that while some pre-game jitters are normal, you have to actually play the game, not just focus on the outcome.


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    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thanks Mary, and thank you for reading.

    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thank you dashingscorpio! I was keeping my article football related, hence the "panicking" which does resemble how men can tend to act (freaking out). :)

    • Miss-Adventures profile image

      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thank you for reading!

    • profile image

      Mary 4 years ago

      Interesting analogy to football. Would not have thought of a relationship in that light. But it makes sense. Very interesting article.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      Nicely written and very creative too! Voted up and interesting!

      Oftentimes it's not that the guy is panicking. He's happy or content with the way things are! :-) From his point of view we laugh, have a great time together, and sex is off the charts...why throw a wrench into things? It's like having a favorite restaurant where you can always count on a particular entrée to delight your palate but instead you decide to order something "different". There are just a few reasons why people change.

      1. They're unhappy with the results they are getting. 2. It is a requirement to achieve a goal. 3. They stand to risk losing something they (want) if they don't change.

      Sometimes it's just a matter of two people being on different wavelengths when it comes to "timeframe expectations". Some folks believe after 90 days we should be saying "I love you", after 6 months we should be planning (future) celebrations together such as it's June and someone wants to make plans for a Thanksgiving vacation getaway, or it's been a year and they think it's time to either move in together or become engaged. They need a relationship status promotion. After marriage they "relax" and stop giving their best

      It is especially unrealistic if the woman is in her 20s dating a guy who is also (in his 20s). Very few men in their 20s are ready to "settle down" or become their parents! The thought of being married, taking on a 30 year mortgage, and having children is like watching their life flash before their eyes! They view the 20s as a time to find themselves not someone else.

      Last but not least if he's had some bad relationships he may just want to enjoy having a wonderful stress free relationship for a while. He knows the minute he says, "I love you" (expectations) began to snowball! According to statistics over 84% of men (do get married) and I imagine some of those who don't may be gay. Therefore odds are the man you're with is going to get married. They're two primary reasons why men don't get married to their significant others.

      1. Timing - He's (not ready) to be married or settle down.

      2. He does not believe (she) is "the one".

      It's not unheard of to hear about a couple who dated for 4 years and after they broke up the man becomes engaged to his next girlfriend within a year. Either he became ready or believes she (is) "the one".