- Gender and Relationships
Is He Panicking At Game Time? -Stephanie Bailey
It is not surprising why football is so popular among men—they can relate to the game as if it is their own personal playbook for relationships.
When the season starts (beginning of a relationship) there is an excitement in the air and he is mentally all in. He will enter the stadium (your life) with a fresh new perspective and genuine anticipation. Not only will he plan his schedule around game-days/kickoffs (making the time to call and see you), he will wear his lucky jersey (putting his best efforts in motion to woo you).
Each time there is a great play (date or time seeing you), he becomes more confident and dedicated to continue watching the game (relationship with you). The more touchdowns and field goals (great times together) that happen—the more interested and potentially invested he becomes in you. Yeah!
During game time (deciding where the relationship is going)—does he start to panic?
There can be many reasons why a guy will panic during game time: if there is a turn in the game—an unpredictable fumble, sack, or interception that causes his team to lose (something that he didn't like that you said or did) he will start to get frustrated and discouraged (losing interest).
The more dates that do not end with the win that he had hoped for and anticipated—something that can be out of your control, will definitely give him a reason to leave the game (walk away from the relationship). Since this can be unpredictable by him, it will leave you unsure or unclear as to what exactly went wrong. This situation can set you up for being on a losing team. Great.
Unfortunately ladies, its not always something negative that will make a guy panic. What happens when everything is going great (completions, first downs), there are no fumbles or interceptions along the way, and being together is not only easy, but fun? Why does that trigger panic for some men?
When a guy has high expectations of how the game should turn out (comparing you to past relationships that he looks at with nostalgia) even though comparable stats have not been compiled for the season (you haven't spent adequate time together)—there is no question about it—you are bound to be on the losing team.
Ladies, have you ever watched a game of football with a guy who already "knows" what the play should be and when it doesn't happen he starts yelling, "come on, they should have called a running play, not a passing play....”
If he's so great at predicting what should be happening instead of enjoying the game, why bother watching the game at all?
Men who like to "game play predict" will usually display this same behavior when it comes to their love life. They will have a detailed plan in their heads that is filled with unrealistic expectations. Maybe after months of dating, your age—even though you are in the same age group, you no longer fits in his future plans. Or maybe what "should be happening" according to his dating playbook (which is based on relationships from his past, and input from his team- mates)—isn’t, therefore trading you seems like the best option for him. Really?!
In some cases, there is the one "perfect" relationship he is set on mimicking (nostalgia for a past season)—in the search for that same mind blowing "feeling" it gave him. Seriously?! If the past relationship was so perfect—she wouldn’t have been traded to another team (new relationship) in the first place. This isn’t rocket science.
It is easy to want to dissect a relationship to view under a microscope (picking apart each play call, and result) to find reasons why the relationship (game) you are in isn't meant to last. I admit that I am often guilty of that. But when the person you are with has a natural way of making you laugh, makes you want to be a better person, supports your desires and dreams, and you have chemistry—why wouldn't you want to start building a winning team together?
Bottom line, if the relationship you are in feels one way (a possible winning season), but when it is actually game time (time to put those feelings into action) and he begins to suffer debilitating pre-game jitters—then maybe it's time to recruit a player who is in the game for all the right reasons. A player who realizes that while some pre-game jitters are normal, you have to actually play the game, not just focus on the outcome.