ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is His Peter Pan Syndrome Getting In The Way?

Updated on April 27, 2015
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

There are some men that have an issue with getting older—this is what I call Peter Pan Syndrome. Men like this want to hold onto the youthfulness of their 20s for as long as they can. They will continue to do all the fun things that they did at that age, regardless of how old they actually are.

Men who have Peter Pan Syndrome will often dress young—their staple outfit: sneakers, baseball hat (usually backwards), and a tee-shirt with something juvenile displayed on the front or back. He will also like to hangout in clubs or college driven bars, party hard and stay up until the sun comes out then sleep most of the day away.

Although meeting a guy like this can be extremely fun—in the beginning, bringing out your youthful side—eventually he and his dating incapacities become old very quickly, causing a wrench in your relationship. At first, yes, his carefree no-responsibility attitude can feel refreshing (and almost intriguing)—putting a unique spin to dating—which definitely keeps you on your toes. However, unless you have that same "life style," it can end up being exhausting and potentially frustrating.

I have dated a few Peter Pans in my life—some were more apparent than others. One guy I dated was in his 50s. He didn't look his age, which was a plus, and the youthful energy he carried was completely different than what I was used to. Although he had style, as weeks went by I noticed that he really enjoyed dressing very youthful. He would wear baseball caps—usually backwards, board-shorts, t-shits and converse sneakers. He was also obsessed with rap music and would perform for me as if he were a hip hop thug—knowing all the lyrics and dancing his heart out. Don't get me wrong, he was very entertaining. Since this guy was always in performance mode (like most Peter Pan men) the attention to me and our relationship plummeted quickly. He didn't have the attention span nor the maturity to be in a relationship.

Another guy I dated was in his 40s and from the moment we met the energy between us was electric and our conversations were invigorating—lots of bantering (maybe too much) and many laughs. Although this guy was entertaining (to say the least), there were many red flags that started to reveal his Peter Pan tendencies.

The first red flag was when he had us stop by a corner liquor store, where he purchase two miniature bottles of vodka so we could "share a shot" on the way to our first dinner date. A little unorthodox, but whatever. I chalked it up to him being creatively fun in his dating approach. Little did I know, his creative approach was really just a lack of wanting to grow up! Then more red flags started to appear...

Even though this guy was fun to date, there were a few things that became old quickly. This guy really enjoyed partying—he would stay up until 5am and sleep until mid-afternoon. Our "dates"—when we had them, started to become group outings—every time we would see each other he would invite his friends. He had to be the center of attention all the time, constantly joking and bantering with everyone in the room. This guy had no filter. He would say anything he was thinking, usually just for shock value, never noticing how disrespectful and rude he was actually being. Don't get me wrong, I love a man who can banter, however, there is a mature way to banter and an immature way—he didn't seem to know the difference. His attention span was also like a teenage boy—not remembering dates he would plan with me and if his friends wanted to hang out that took precedence over me. When he continued to break plans with me, disregarding my feeling and never acknowledging that we had plans to begin with, the irritation began to grow. Add in the fact that he had two roommates, I decided enough was enough.

I understand that plans will change once in a while—not all the time, however. When a guy doesn't give you a follow up plan right away, it's hurtful and a big sign that you weren't that important to him in the first place.

Some men are great at hiding their Peter Pan ways, however there are usually some commonalities to spot one if you're unsure.

29 Signs of a Peter Pan Syndrome Guy:

  1. 1. Drinks a lot—likes he's still in his 20s
  2. 2. Very stubborn
  3. 3. Inconsistent behaviors
  4. 4. Always has to be around his friends—hardly spends alone time with you
  5. 5. Has a roommate—even though he can afford not to
  6. 6. Spends money frivolously
  7. 7. Sarcastic
  8. 8. Little white lies, both to you and other people in his life
  9. 9. Likes to wear baseball caps a lot and usually backwards
  10. 10. Lack of ambition
  11. 11. He enjoys pushing your buttons—once he knows the things that bother you
  12. 12. If better plans come along with friends he will cancel plans with you
  13. 13. Self-absorbed
  14. 14. He jokes a lot, making it hard to have a serious conversation
  15. 15. Most of his friend, if not all, are a younger than him
  16. 16. It's hard for him to be focused on one thing at a time
  17. 17. He will hold you to a standard that he doesn't hold himself to
  18. 18. He's fun to hang out with, but not stable
  19. 19. He'll interrupt you when you talk—talking loudly over you to get his point across
  20. 20. He has temper tantrums easily
  21. 21. He's an "in the moment" type of guy
  22. 22. Likes to banter with you a lot
  23. 23. He makes impulsive decisions
  24. 24. He has a hard time admitting he's wrong—if he ever does
  25. 25. The only time he can open up and shares his feelings is when he's under the influence of alcohol/drugs
  26. 26. He always have to be "on"—center of attention, when he's with his friends
  27. 27. He enjoys mimicking you when you talk
  28. 28. He always thinks he's right
  29. 29. He's very emotionally driven

**If you have noticed more than half of these things in your relationship, then most likely you are dealing with a Peter Pan Syndrome guy.

Ladies, a Peter Pan Syndrome's energy may be exciting and heightened, however, this doesn't mean that it's healthy. Unless you want to be "Wendy" and mother him forever, then this relationship might be more work than it's worth. Be direct and clear about what you want and more importantly, what you're willing to deal with. Communicate this early, before getting too serious. If he still chooses to not grow up, then leave this Peter Pan alone with his Lost Boys in Neverland.

P.S. If you enjoy my writing, please help me become more known by clicking on the links above—Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, and following me here on HubPages. I appreciate it! Sending you light and love! ;)

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Michaela Osiecki profile image

      Michaela 

      2 years ago from USA

      I'd like to point out that some of these behaviors could actually be indicative of mental illness or development disorders, like autism or Aspergers. Especially the traits: stubbornness, temper tantrums, awkward social behaviors, emotional and impulsive, etc.

      I only point this out because I'm in a long-term relationship with a man who's on the spectrum and a lot of these behaviors are in fact attributed to him being autistic.

    • profile image

      ana 

      3 years ago

      I've dated a couple of those. Made the mistake of staying with one of them too long waiting for him to grow up, it never happened.

    • profile image

      MRB 

      3 years ago

      Very interesting article. Had never heard of the Peter Pan Syndrome.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)