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Is His Swagger Getting Your Attention?

Updated on January 4, 2016
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Many times it's not a "type of guy" a woman is necessarily attracted to but instead it is his swagger…

A guy's swagger is that certain something about him that catches your attention. It can be the way he talks, walks, dresses, his voice, how he treats you, his confidence, the way he looks at you, how he carries himself, etc.—basically his je ne sais quoi. Swagger can turn a guy who you see as a five/six (average looking) into an appealing ten. Not having any swagger at all can inadvertently make an attractive guy become less attractive. Swagger is really what makes a guy appealing and for some men it can make him even more attractive then what you first initially thought—similar to Harry from Sex And The City.

A frog can become a prince when he has swagger...

The character Charlotte from Sex And The City was usually attracted to extremely classy good-looking men who had great physiques, tall and financially well-to-do. When she met Harry, he was not her "type" and quite opposite in many ways to the other men she had dated. Harry was her pushy divorce lawyer who was short, overweight and bald. Not only did he have body hair on his chest but also on his shoulders and back. Yikes! Even with that said he was however overly-confident and extremely persistent when it came to pursuing as well as complimenting Charlotte—this was his swagger. Plus, he was the best lover she had ever had. Cha-Ching!

Since Harry wasn't Charlotte's physical ideal "type of guy" she was embarrassed to tell her friends that she was sleeping with Him. But, Harry's swagger ended up changing how Charlotte felt.

Many times we create these physical lists—height, physique, hair color, eye color, etc.—of what a guy needs to have and we immediately dismiss him if he doesn't match our superficial list. Why?...looks eventually change. And many times the overly good-looking men don't feel they need to put the effort in to creating a lasting significant relationship or they are too busy being a player. Obviously there needs to be some attraction, however when you can be open to getting to know a guy who isn't everything you physically imagined you might notice his swagger which could end up grabbing you're attention—and possibly keep it.

All the important qualities that Charlotte really wanted in a man she found in Harry. Not only did his swagger (being overly confident) win her heart, he treated her like platinum. Harry was communicative, caring, kind, supportive, and protective—he also wanted to provide and take care of her as well as love her unconditionally. Plus he was great to her friends and they also really liked him. Charlotte ended up falling in love with him—in her eyes Harry became her ten and she married him.

I know, I know....this example is based on a TV show, however it is a great depiction of reality. Often you can see an attractive women with a man who you don't find attractive and wonder how they got together. Simple...she saw his swagger.

Most men have some swagger, so depending on what you find attractive will determine if his particular swagger catches your attention or not. Again, you won't notice if he has any swagger if you are guarded based on superficial expectations. Also ladies, sometimes his swagger isn't always seen right away—often it is noticed after hanging out or spending time with a guy.

I was friends with a guy—just friends—for many years. Even though he had feelings for me I only saw him as a friend because I wasn't physically attracted to him. But, things changed. This guy had swagger that I couldn't help but finally notice. This guy was extremely confident and carried himself with such assurance. He had his own style and didn't care what anyone thought—but not in an arrogant pompous way. He was polite, funny and when he looked at me I felt as if I was the only person in the room.

When a guy has swagger it can be a magnet—creating chemistry that wasn't originally there.

Eventually, I noticed my friend's swagger and it became a very sexy attractive quality to me. This guy knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to go after it—and that included wooing me. Yay! We ended up dating for a while.

Here's the thing, when you meet a guy and you don't have that instant attraction, be open to seeing if he has any swagger that might set him apart from other men you have dated. If you look with open eyes the swagger is usually present. There is a unique quality that most of us have and sometimes you might miss out on dating a great guy by being set on his initial looks only. Love should exceed way past the physical.

Ladies, love is about how a guy treats you, respects you, supports you, and communicates with you. A guy's swagger can help open your eyes to what you could be potentially missing out amazing man and an even more amazing relationship. Be confident in yourself and you will attract a confident man who will stand out from the crowd!


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      This article reminds me of the saying: "Never judge a book by its cover."

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago from Chicago

      Swagger is one of those "X- factor" qualities that is not easily explained by women or understood by so called "nice guys".

      For lack of a better word I guess you could describe it as having "a quiet cool confidence" but not the arrogant or egotistical kind. Someone who knows who (they are) and is comfortable in their skin.

      Swagger like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

      I've known some women who were attracted to arrogance! LOL!

      It's the "5th guy" in the room theory.

      Place a woman in a room with five guys and have four of them drop down to their knees extending their heart towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail and acting as if she does not exist.

      That will be the guy she wants to get to know!

      He's a "mystery" or a "challenge". She needs to prove to herself that she could have him if she wanted him. What's his story? She approaches him!

      Generally when guys see an attractive woman with an unattractive guy they think to themselves: "He must have money."


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