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Is The Text Message You're Reading Killing Your Libido? -Stephanie Bailey

Updated on October 21, 2013
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

One of the best things about dating someone you really like is the flirty text messages you send back and forth—keeping smiles on your face and exciting butterflies surrounding your heart.

But, what do you do when the texting becomes awkward? How do you handle a text that is either too clinically wordy or raunchy?

When you like someone the wrong text or several can change how you feel quickly. The butterfly's fluttering around your heart die and the smile on your faces quickly changes to confusions, and frankly—disappointment.

Unless a death has happened, your pet has gone through surgery or the person you are communicating with can't talk—texting should be short, sweet and to the point. No one you're dating cares about technical stuff when it comes to your job. Are we happy that you are having a great meeting—yes! Are we excited that your company is excelling or that you just got a promotion---of course. What we don't want to hear—the tedious details of your meeting, work trip or even your boring routine day. Unless we are the CEO of the company who's also dating you—please refrain from sharing.

The same goes when it comes to raunchy or highly inappropriate text messages. When you are first dating someone getting an overtly sexual text or naked photo of someone's junk is off-putting to say the least.

I went on a first date with a guy that was perfect from start to finish. He ended the date with a sweet text message that I received just as I arrived home. "Looking forward to seeing you again and that beautiful smile." Needless to say I went to bed with a huge smile on my face grinning from ear to ear.

The second date we had was just as perfect as the first. As I approached the restaurant he was waiting in the lobby and quickly raced to the door to let me in. His hug was as warm as I remembered from our first date (which was just two days prior) and he was even more attractive than I had remembered. The conversation was organic and his mannerisms were on target. Pinch me—could this be the perfect guy?

Before I could answer that question, my perfect guy did the despicable a few days later. We were texting each other back and forth, innocent flirting (or so I thought) and the topic of yoga came up. As we were discussing the benefits of yoga right before my eyes he sent a picture-text—full frontal, nothing to hide, and everything right in front of me to see.

I was shocked! There were two major issues with this scenario. First, we had not been intimate at all at this point---not even a kiss. Second—the fact that he assumed I even wanted to see his junk. His assumption, that by seeing it—would make me want him even more? Hmmm. Unfortunately for him it did the complete opposite—we never went out again. It's tacky & insulting to assume a girl wants to see more than your abs if you've never been intimate. If a guy is so quick to send a picture of his dick...he may be a man whore!

In the beginning of dating, text messages should be there to add spice and fun. Who doesn't like to receive a text when they first wake in the morning that says, "Good morning sexy" or "looking forward to seeing you later?" Nice, short, sweet and makes the person who is receiving the text feel warm and fuzzy knowing you are thinking about them. The romance is lost when technicality rears its ugly boring message into the text. That type of text gives the impression that the person sending the text is a boring person or even worse...he may be boring in bed!

Bottom-line, when dating; especially in the beginning--keep text messages simple and flirty. People want to feel excited and happy when receiving a text from someone they like, not turned-off. Granted, not everyone is great at texting—however, usually the apple doesn't fall from the tree when comparing a text to someone’s personality. If you're experiencing messages that are killing your's time to kill the habit and send a break-up text.


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    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      7 years ago from Denver

      That is a good one and I have unfortunately I have had a text similar by an older man before---such a turn-off!

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      7 years ago from Denver

      Thank you for reading!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Another texting turn-off is when they (men) text like a 13 year old girl. You know...."it was gr8t 2 c u - u made me lol ----eek!


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