ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is Your Relationship Moving Too Quickly?

Updated on May 26, 2014
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Let's be honest, who doesn't get excited at the thought of possibly meeting a guy who thinks that you are the perfect match for him—"the one." No more meaningless one night stands. No more dates that make you roll your eyes and think, "Seriously!?" And no more dating guys that seem to have more dead ends to a potential happily-ever-after.

Finally, it's your turn. You have met a guy who looks at you like you are everything to him—restoring the belief that there is love at first sight (or after a few dates). The best part, he doesn't freak out talking about future stuff. In fact, with this guy—he's the one who brings it up (freely). Hip, Hip Hurrah!

It feels incredibly amazing to not only know there is someone out there who is thinking about you, just as much as much as you are thinking about them (or possibly more), it's also a relief.

When you have things to talk about—commonalities and mix it with chemistry and great sex—this combination definitely starts to solidify that maybe, just maybe, this guy will be your forever.

Although realizing that this person could be a keeper, how do you determine if this relationship is moving at a healthy pace or possibly too fast? You don't. However, there are usually some basic signs that your relationship might be heading on the fast track to love—which in many cases leads to disaster.

Signs that your relationship might be moving too quickly within the first month or two:

  1. He says, "I love you" and you haven't even dated a month. Love is strong—a meaningful as well as a powerful word and should only be said if truly felt. How can you honestly love/be in love with someone that you barely know? For some people this word leaves their lips as quickly as "hello" or "thank you." Beware—this could be a big red flag that your relationship might end as quickly as it began.
  2. Planning trips after only a few dates. This might sound exciting, but what are his expectations and will you still like him by the time you go?
  3. Suggesting that it's ok to leave things at his house or he asks to leave things at yours (marking his "territory").
  4. Receiving lavish gifts after your first date. What girl doesn't like to receive flowers delivered to her home or job after the first date or few? Flowers are one thing, but if flowers turn into several bouquets at once, or attached with Godiva chocolates and jewelry—the excitement he's creating so quickly has unrealistic values.
  5. After a few weeks you are being introduced as their boyfriend or girlfriend and you haven't officially had the "talk." Although this might seem sweet—shouldn't you discuss this first?
  6. He wants you to meet his family after only a few dates.
  7. The topic of moving in together happens within a few weeks of dating. Although it is important to live with someone in order to see if you are compatible before marriage, living with someone too soon can be a recipe for disaster—especially if you get out of your lease, possibly sell some of your things and move in with him. If the relationship doesn't work, do you have a backup plan for where you will live?
  8. Marriage is the #1 topic and you already know the exact details for the big day. Yikes!
  9. You talk about kids—their names and how many you will have by the third date.
  10. You’re looking at furniture on your first weekend date.
  11. He's cleaned out a drawer and closet space for you to use at his place after a few sleepovers.
  12. He asks you to be his wedding date to a wedding that's 6-8 months away and you've been dating 2-3 weeks. Making plans this far in the future is a lot of pressure.
  13. Giving you an endearing "pet" name within the first week of dating.
  14. Having 8-10 dates in a two week period and he tells you that he can't imagine his life without you. This lightening speed is bound to explode!
  15. Meeting his kids on the second date (or within the first month). This might feel flattering, but are you ready to take that emotional responsibility on?

When a guy is rushing the relationship to the next level, you need to ask yourself, why? It can be easy to get caught up in the romance and excitement of being with someone who seems so sure about you, but will this feeling last, and for how long? Does he have a pattern of rushing into relationships with every girl he dates? Does he fall in love easily?

I have dated several men that tried to rush our relationship quickly. After a few dates they wanted to call me their girlfriend, after a few weeks were confessing their love to me, and after a month (sometimes less) they wanted me to move in and "talk marriage." Eek! Although this might sound excitingly romantic—because it felt like that at the time, it wasn't in the end. These men were so concentrated on rushing to the next level with me, they didn't realize that they didn't really know me. This was an inevitable disaster—like seeing a car about to crash right in front of your eyes, but you don't know how to stop it.

When a guy doesn't really know you, how can he be so sure that you are what he really wants? He usually doesn't, and therefore freaks out—breaking-up with you, suddenly stops calling or does the disappearing act.

It can be easy for a guy to get consumed with physical beauty—assuming that's all you are. That is why it is so important to not rush the dating cycle. Date for awhile and spend as much quality time getting to know each other, so you can determine if you are truly the right match for each other. If the "honeymoon" stage goes from 100% to 20% after only a few months, it is never a good sign. The way a guy treats you shouldn't change so dramatically from the time you first met, to six, eight or twelve months later. If it does—this is a Big Red Flag!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not cynical. I definitely believe that love at first sight can exist. I believe that two people can look at each other and know in their hearts that they belong together. However, these days when you hear about love at first sight actually lasting, it occurred in a different time and place, when people actually worked hard to keep their relationship lasting. It wasn't based on pedestal syndrome—falling in love with the idea of someone, it was about spending quantity and quality time to really get to know one another......to build and strengthen the foundation of a relationship.

Ladies, as hard as it is not to get sucked up in the romantic fantasy, the true measure of any guy is when you have been dating for at least 6-8 months. The honeymoon phase dissipates, you start to see their true colors and can determine from there if he's really a keeper and if the relationship will ultimately work. It's important to enjoy the process versus rushing to get down the aisle. If the relationship is meant to last or not—only time will tell.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      3 years ago from Denver

      Thank you Deborah Demander.

      And yes, I totally agree, "we as women should not be too eager to rush things either. " Unfortunitly, many women are.

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. :)

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      3 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Great article.

      And, as a side note, we women should not be too eager to rush things either.

      thanks for the pointers and warning signs.

      Namaste.

    • Miss-Adventures profile imageAUTHOR

      Stephanie Bailey 

      4 years ago from Denver

      Very true Mary RB and thank you for reading!

    • profile image

      Mary RB 

      4 years ago

      Very insightful points for women and men to consider.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)