- Gender and Relationships»
- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
It's OK to Act Like You're Still In High School
When my Mom was my age, probably even younger..she would call me and tell me that she was arguing with this one or that one..someone pissed her off..she pissed someone off and on and on and on.
I would sit and think "for Gods sake..how OLD are you? Arent you too old for this? Youre acting like youre in high school and things that other women say to you shouldnt matter..Let it GO!".
And instead of listening to her and validating how she felt..I would tell her that she was too old to be acting this way and that she should just do this or that when all she really wanted was my understanding and my support.
Now, for my mother..much of the way I felt was pretty fair because she did tend to be a difficult person and her inter-personal relationships werent always the best. She often got her feelings hurt too easily and often misunderstood others intentions etc.
Nevertheless...I wish I had been more patient and more understanding because I think that women, no matter what their age, no matter who they are do tend to still act like theyre in high school sometimes and it should be okay to act that way sometimes.
I now understand better, the way my Mom felt sometimes because now, in many ways...I AM her.
Just because we're a certain age doesnt mean that we dont get hurt feelings and just because we've raised a family and have achieved a certain level of responsibility doesnt mean that we always handle situations with maturity and grace and understanding.
And..you know what? Its OK. Its really OK to act like youre still in high school, once in awhile. Its OK to get our feelings hurt and to wonder why it seems that the world is against us and be mad at that girl because she hurt our feelings!
Its a rare woman (and its not me by a long shot!) who can take everything that anyone says in stride and do what I told my own mother to do....let it go.
Life is hard and we all try to do our best and sometimes we fall short of what our best is and we beat ourselves up because we're 40 or 50 or 60 or older and somewhere, sometime, someone told us that by now, we shouldnt have our feelings hurt or we should be above having those feelings.
There really is no statute of limitations on having our feelings hurt.
Feelings are the truest indicator of the person we are. If we dont have them..we've somehow conditioned ourselves to become robotic. And thats because having feelings means that we've opened ourselves up to be hurt and lots of us dont want to be hurt, so we lock our hearts up and throw away the key.
But, having feelings, allows us to open ourselves up to be loved and to love back.
And so because of that..I wish I had one more chance to let my Mom bitch and complain and whine about what so and so said or did to her so that I could tell her that its OK and that shes allowed.
But maybe its enough that I realize it myself.