ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

It's Okay to be Alone

Updated on February 29, 2016
Source

You're single

As a recently single person, I've went through "The 5 Stages" too many times to count. Sometimes I'm angry, others I'm covering my face at 2 o'clock in the morning because I'm sad and I physically can't do anything and I don't want to. But I promise it is not the end of things, you're not dying, and this isn't going to be what kills you.

Maybe you did love them with everything in you, so what? They left and didn't think twice about it, or you left and gave it no second thought either. Maybe your sitting at your desk thinking about how much you laughed together and how much you thought you were in love with them and all of the plans that you had that now continue to only stay alive as dreams. Just because they're gone doesn't mean you have to leave yourself and try to find them. There is only one person who knows you completely and that person just so happens to be you. You'll never find a better date, a better shoulder to cry on or a stronger foundation. I know, you're thinking "well, I'm not as strong as you are" or "maybe but I don't know how". You do know how though, you know it better than anyone. If you can't figure it out alone, it's okay to ask for help, because you're going to grow and you're going to find yourself, and you're going to be happier than you could have ever thought possible. Trust yourself and you'll find yourself.

1. It's going to be okay

The most cliche-est statement ever, probably; but it's also the truest. And the more you tell yourself that things are going to be okay, the more they actually start becoming okay, the more you start to realize that even though they broke your heart you lived through it, you're still a fighter and you haven't given up. The sun still comes up for you. It's going to take time because happiness happens over time, not over night. There is nothing promised to us. Ever. And that's a hard pill to swallow, but you're going to live through this, you're going to be able to wake up tomorrow and say "I'm stronger than I was yesterday" and you're going to eventually be okay.

2. You're totally allowed to cry

The best medicine, is not in fact laughter, it's ugly crying at 3 a.m sitting on the shower floor. And that's okay. You don't have to be strong always. You're hurting, your heart is broken and you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Don't hold back. Let it out and let it go. If you cry bout it now, you won't need to later. If you get it all out first hand you'll finally be able to look at the situation and say "I'm hurt and emotional, but I'm going to be stronger." You cant cry forever though. A solid 15-20 minutes will do the trick, after that pick yourself up off the floor, and become that strong person you hope to be. You cried, you got it all out, now you can begin to move on.

Source

3. Don't join a dating site just yet

Between, farmersonly.com, eharmony.com, and all of the other dating sites and apps, you almost feel pressured to join one immediately. But refrain from joining one as long as possible if at all. You're still hurt. You're trying to fill the hole they left you with. It's just going to always be the same thing, you'll match with someone and then realize there's nothing there because you're only trying to get over someone, but really I guess that's all we ever do until we find someone we don't want to get over. It's okay to join a site if you know that it's not going to do you any more harm and heartbreak. You don't deserve to do that to yourself. At the end of the day we are all just trying to find one thing, and that's ourselves from the dark that we're sitting in.

4. Moving the Hell On

Bet you thought we'd never get to this one, huh? Well, here it is. It's not going to be easy. At all. Because you were in love, you made memories and plans, maybe you even got a cute cat together and now all of that has been taken from you and you feel like you have nothing. Hang in there. We all have been there. And there is that beautiful word, we. Meaning, that you are not alone. Someone, somewhere is going through the same thing you're going through. They've cried on the shower floor, they've skipped class because they were too sad to go, they've done things to make the pain go away, even if it is just for a few hours. But there is power in numbers, and if you're not the only one, then that means your in luck because someone has survived the heartbreak, they built their bridges, crossed them, then burned them down. And, in time, that's going to be you. You're going to look back and ask yourself why you even loved everything about this person, because they clearly saw your flaws and wasn't scared to leave you drowning in them. So what, they were the only person you could ever open up to or the only person you thought you would ever love. But they moved on, and now you deserve to move on too. You deserve more happiness than anyone in the world.You deserve peace and you deserve someone who isn't going to find your flaws and point them out. You also deserve time. You deserve to be angry and sad and you deserve to deny that what you and this person had is over. You deserve to be hurt, but don't let the pain kill you.

It's Over

Be happy. Go to the beach alone. Plan a you day. Find your friends and drag them to your favorite place and just talk. Do something. Because just like happiness, you deserve to find yourself. If you're not happy with yourself, change what you don't like. Go to the gym, get some sun, be creative, paint, draw, sing at the top of your lungs cruising down the coast. Find your happiness and then find yourself. You can be strong and independent and you can be yourself. No one else defines you or your happiness, only you can do that. And you can sure as hell be just as happy by yourself as you can with some man or woman. You can do so much you beautiful human, find it and do it.

Comments

Submit a Comment

No comments yet.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)