- Gender and Relationships
I've Been Cheated On. Now What?
Different Types Of Cheating
There are actually a number of different ways to cheat. Perhaps none of them are any better than another, but that depends on your personal view of it.
Physical: A terrible way of cheating. Whether it is sex or a kiss, or somewhere in between, it's a terrible feeling knowing that the connection of touch you felt with them was also touched by someone else.
Wordplay: Just as bad as physical cheating. If you caught your SO saying something to someone else that you both know was only supposed to be said to you, that can be heartbreaking.
Virtual: There have been cases where someone would go online, perhaps a dating website, and flirt with people over the internet by sending them messages or virtual flowers/gifts. This is just as bad as the others mentioned because it's completely unnecessary to do when you're with someone.
Some people just believe that it's not considered cheating unless there was a physical touch involved. (A lot of people that think that are the ones that cheated by wordplay or virtual). Whatever you believe, is cheating, is cheating. Never allow someone that hurt you from one of these ways tell you that you're wrong to consider it cheating.
Make Sure You Know The Facts
There are two kinds of people in this situation; the know-it-all and the shover.
The know-it-all wants to know everything that happened; when, how, who? The shover, on the other hand, shoves all information aside and would rather not know the full story.
Neither of these methods are wrong, it depends on how you personally feel about it. However, whether you're the know-it-all or the shover, you will always want to know why. This is why you need to know the facts. If you don't, you will always have the thoughts in your head racing about what was. You don't want them to lie, of course, so be stern with it. Don't give up until you're feeling secure about why they cheated. You'll go on feeling insecure about yourself about what you did wrong unless you do this. Facts will bring closure, so be strong and get your answers, you deserve it.
Trust and Communication
It goes without saying that trust is a main key in any relationship. Sometimes we forget though, that communication is also a main key.
Communication and trust go hand in hand. Without one or the other, your relationship will be lopsided. Hopefully your SO had the decency to communicate with you about their cheating, but if they didn't, you just lost both things in the relationship.
So now you have to think about the future - the effort into getting those two keys back, the time for you to recover them, and if it's all worth it.
It being all worth it is the big thing to concentrate on because you don't want to spend your time fixing things, just so it can all break again. No, we can't tell our fate, or who we are destined to be with. Your SO that cheated on you may not even be the one that's meant for you to be with forever. Think of it as a sign, perhaps, for you to get out now. What a lovely thought it is to know that the one that really is meant for you and wouldn't hurt you is still out there.
This is not for everyone, though. Many couples have overcame infidelity and are stronger than ever. These people are able to still see a bright future with them, as well as knowing in their heart what is right for their life. But another thing about these people, they were just as hurt, confused, and in doubt of their relationships when it first happened too.
Being cheated on is a horrible feeling, but remember to think about your future after this happens. What do you want to happen next? What are your plans? What will change? If you think you can work on the trust and communication again, a second chance for your SO might not be a bad idea. If not, leave.
Getting Rid Of The Bad Thoughts
The worst part about being cheated on is in your own head. Having depressed and negative thoughts is natural when this happens to an individual, but you know that is no way to live your life. You would never want your best friend feeling miserable if this happened to them, right? You would do everything you can to make them happy.
It's as simple as that. Even though you don't think it is, all you have to do is surround yourself with good friends, family, events, activities, and even music. There are so many happy and great things in the world, especially around you. Like that one song that you always have a groove too, or playing ball, watching a funny show, getting a milkshake with a friend, playing with a bouncy ball, anything! You just have to want to look at the good stuff. Once you find them, you'll be on your feet in no time.
Nobody deserves having bad thoughts consume their mind, and although it is inevitable sometimes, only you can control for how long it stays in your head.
What Did You Do?
Another Helpful Site On Overcoming Infidelity
- Overcoming Infidelity
Experts tell WebMD how to overcome infidelity in a relationship and how to know when it's time to call it quits.