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I've Lost My Virginity. Now What?

Updated on February 25, 2009

This is hub is going to be from the woman's point of view.

If your a teenager in middle school or high school your probably hearing from behind hands whispers who did who and who broke up with who, etc. But I don't think anyone takes into consideration about the emotional turmoil that comes with having sex, especially in the teen years; yes that even include your eighteen and nineteen year old's that no longer consider yourselves teens.

I remember in elementary school the word IT meant sex. So anytime we heard the word it we would all giggle like fools. Little did we really know what the concept of sex really meant. Oh we knew where what body parts slide into what body part, we knew what happens to a boy when he had "happy thoughts." But we didn't know what was needed if you wanted to have sex. Damn the concept of having sex wasn't even on our minds.

The first time I figured out that teenagers were having sex was in 8th grade. I was 14 at the time, and I heard this girl tell this guy that he had left his belt at her house. At first I didn't think any thing of it, till she told him how good the other night was. UH?!?! Was all I could think, were they doing what I thought they were doing? No, that couldn't be possible, we're only 14 why would anyone want to be doing that. God, I didn't have my first french kiss till 7th grade. I didn't even know what petting was or even how to get to 3rd base. My only concern was if my bf was going to dump me, of if I didn't have a bf who my next one would be. Sex wasn't even on my mind at that age.

Skip ahead to high school, one of my friends in high school. Even my freshman year sex was HUGE it was the talk during lunch. I didn't get it, I just thought eh... nothing big, it doesn't involve me. Or so I thought.

My first sexual experience was in 9th grade. Okay here is the shocker teens; oral sex IS SEX!Yeah, I know big shocker, no one really knew this till Bill Clinton and Monica had their thing. I didn't know what the hell was going on, I knew what I was doing, but I didn't know what I was really doing. No, I didn't have intercourse. My bf at the time wanted to have sex, but I wasn't ready, I knew I wasn't ready.

Okay girls, this is something that will probably never change. If a guy has sex, he's the man. If a girl has sex, even oral, your a slut; even if it was with one guy. Once word is out your a slut and it's hard to get that name tag off your forehead. Sadly even if you don't do anything and the guy is upset about this and wants to make himself look like "The Man" he'll lie to his guys friends. Yes, guys if they don't know you will want to believe something that someone says about you before they want to believe that their guy friend didn't get "IT" Sad yes but reality.

I didn't have intercourse till 19. Okay teens where is some information to think about. The first time you have sex WILL NOTbe in a hotel room or some romantic place. Most likely it will be in your gf or bf basement on the couch or if there's a bed down there. Or it will be in the back seat of a car, not the most comfortable place. There won't be any candlelight or rose petals leading to the bed. If it's on the guys or girls bed, you could be making love on strawberry shortcake sheets or transformers bedsheets. They are not going to be some 400 count sheets or satin sheets, they are going to be something that when you look back on it your going to feel embrassed.

It's going to be weird, your going to be nervous, and your going to stumble around each others bodies. Also it won't be the long lingering love scences you see on TV. Most likely it will last 10 minutes at the most, girls if this is your first time there might be pain and bleeding or there might be. Guys, you might learn what the meaning of minute man is the first time you have sex.

Okay you and you bf have had sex, what now? Well, the relationship will continue for a while or if the guy is a total jerk, two weeks later he'll dump you and move onto his next bed lay. Sadly yes guys will think nothing of it and simply say sorry it's over and there you are standing there with your heart ripped out laying on the ground. It's gonna be trampled, ripped, and torn to pieces. You're gonna question what you did wrong, were you not good enough in bed, could you of done something better? Hun, its nothing you did, the only wrong thing you did was pick the wrong guy, and that's something any girl can do without knowing it. And there are girls like this too, so guys you aren't the only ones that can be total jerks when it comes to sex.

Here you are with your heart ripped out, now comes the crying, the wondering, and the if's. Oh there will be anger of why did you even sleep with that guy, why were you so stupid. You'll wish there was some magical rewind button you could push, or some magical way you could disappear and no one could find you.This is something we all go through.

Than you will finally emotionally calm down, months will past and you'll get into another relationship, sex will be brought up once again. You'll probably think that since you've already done it why not just do it again. That honey is a sad depressing slide that your heading down. Just because you've already done it doesn't mean you have to do it again. It's what you choose if you don't want to have sex again you don't have to. NO is a strong powerful word, learn it use and learn to use it proudly.

And don't listen to your guy friends or girlfriends if they say sex is just sex. No, it's not sex is something so physical, so emotional, so mential that it can change your own personal outlook on your self and how you live your life.

Sex is something so powerful that it has broke hearts, caused people to kill themselves and even to harm others if they find out their SO is cheating on them. It's amazing how such a small three letter word holds such power.

Something else is that couple eventually break up, and no matter how long a relationship has lasted. If you've had sex the break will hurt more, you will feel used, lost, and confused, along with the other emotions that come with a break up.

Sex isn't just sex, and love isn't just another word to be freely tossed around. If you choose to have sex, talk about it with your partner, what your expectations are. Talk about what think will happen aftewards, what forms of protection you both plan on using together.

Please just remember, as I said before sex isn't just sex. Sex is something you have with a real person with real feelings and real emotions.


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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      real men love women who.will. wait!

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      for me. virginity is the best gift of wife on his husband.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      im scared to do it......i dnt thnk i can becoz what if i loose my virginity to him and after that he leaves me.....i love him n yes he feels the same wae bt i cnt...pliz help me

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Look not every guy is going to leave someone because they had sex with them. There are decent guys out there. Don't make young girls more insecure then they probably are.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Why are you saying it's the guys fault and guys fault only? I've been in a relationship with a girl cheating on me I dumped her so ur saying it was my fault? I doubt it was my fault

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I wish I kept mine :( the guy I lost it to fit in the 2 weeks later didn't care category.... That happened when I was 18 and I'm 19 now and with someone lovely but scared to have sex because I don't want to get hurt again....

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      This is actually helpful, i don't plan on having sex anytime soon but its good advice to give friends that are going through this heart break stage after loosing their virginity

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Great article..lost my virginity 2months ago n I must say it wasn't all bad I had a great time thou it was painful bt not as many ppl say it is.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Hi all !

      I'm s a man, i know what men think, what they want, what they are hurry up for, the girl should wait till she engages with the proper man and not be in a hurry to have sex,,girls, you know you will be very attractive and amazing if you still keep your hymen!! you know men will follow you every where to just have a look from you!! because they want something they are very eager to get it!Sex with a virgin girl!!they will be crazy to get,,but you are not easy girl,, have the wise and you know the proper man who deserve to touch you, wait the real man who deserve you,, wit him and engage with him and form a family.

    • profile image

      just me. 

      6 years ago

      I understand where your coming from. Maybe it's a good thing that you are putting such a tainted image of sex in kids heads, because that's what I expected. I expected my first to be the most painful thing a female would do next to childbirth. & 2 days ago I learned just how wrong that was. Sure, it hurt in the beginning. But knowing that that part of me will forever be his is something truly amazing. More amazing than the actual sex. If he were to leave me tomorrow, I would still be thankful that he's going to have that at least, and me have that part of him as well. I think that the blanket assumption that sex is bad for teens is so wrong in so many ways! It is just one more part of growing up. It's a teens choice. Some of us are more mature and have a better head on our shoulders than a lot of 20-30 year olds. Sex doesn't have much to do with age as much as it does with maturity and naiveness. Not all teens are as naïve as adults like to think, especially with the internet and tv programs. We see it all the time, whether it be in real life with our friends or on our favorite television program. I hate the fact that there are actually people who get payed to come into our classrooms and scare us about sex. I do have to disagree about oral. That is not sex, that is oral. Your cherry isn't going to pop, you won't be very sore, and your typically not going to get pregnant unless you are very kinky. In my opinion. But I think all that argument is, is opinion. There most definetly is great advice in this article, and I'm not saying that many teenagers wouldn't benifet from waiting. But just like so many other minor things in our lives, this is another situation that we probably won't learn from our parent's mistakes, but have to experience it ourselves. But here is another thing girls should consider:

      Yes, sure, sex can change you, your relationships, and your life in both positive and negative ways. But just know that that may not be your case. Its not like all of a sudden you see the world diferently, or that all of a sudden you and your partner's problems will disappear, or that you will feel this profound difference in yourself. Sex IS emotional, physical, and mental but that doesn't necessarily mean you feel it in all of those ways.

      I recommend girls to know the condom, how to put it on, and other ways to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy and STDs, because you will want some control in the whole situation. I hope that girls will choosed someone who truly cares about them and they are comfortable with because there is blood, and pain, and strange feelings that you have never felt before. Your gonna want to have that ability to talk to your partner so that it will be as comfortable of an experience as possible for you. This is a day your gonna remember for the REST of your life wether you want to or not. I think no matter how great or terrible it is, your gonna have regrets. But its in the past at that point. I think adults put too much pressure on the whole subject. Like someone said above, its a natural body function. And us teens have a lot of hormones going on.

      To the author, my time wasn't terrible. I knew that it was happening that night, I had decided the day before, but he had no clue. We had the house to ourselves, and he made me dinner; casadillas with olives, even though he hated olives. He turned on Comedy Central while I took a shower and got into some comfy pj's. When I was all clean and spiffy, he held me while we watched tv and talked and teased eachother. Once we started making out we moved to my bed. It had no hello kitty sheets, just simple soft clean blue ones with a white comforter. I stumbled with the condom but it wasn't awkward, we just laughed it off in excitement. It hurt badly at first but I breathed through it and he was patient and gentle with me. The popping of the cherry was the most shocking part of it, I've never felt something like that ever before. It's kind of similar to squeezing a grape in your mouth until it explodes under the pressure. He said that he felt it too. After that things went smoothly. I lost my virginity to our favorite artist Bob Marley, Three Little Birds. There was quite a bit of blood, but I refused to be embarrased of such a natural thing, and just told him that he had to leave the room when I cleaned up. Afterwards he held me while we danced to the music and then went to lie down. We told eachother all of our favorite things about the eachother. It may sound sappy, but talk about like in a movie. My only regret is that we hadn't done it sooner.

      Just wanted to share a good tennage sex story to go along with the thousands and thousands of terrible horror stories out there that adults make sure to share with their teens.

      Sincerely, A Sexually Active & Happy 14 Year Old :)

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      WOW...Spectacular..I mean i like those kind of advice...small three words hold such powers..ehehe..oh and yeah,you're right.Love and Sex aren't something that we can tossed around with because they cause headache and problems.lolxx

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Thank you.

    • 24news profile image


      7 years ago from India

      Appreciate your words : "NO is a strong powerful word, learn it use and learn to use it proudly."

      Thanks for sharing such a great knowledge.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I think that sex is really a great thing givin by nature.. And that you should go with your bodies

      natural feelings.. Don't fight nature let it happen just be safe have fun and don't care about the

      guy so much bc he will leave you at some point.. It's not all sacred like christans make it out to be.. It's just a natural occurance in life, plus it's fun:)

    • profile image

      girl in japan 

      8 years ago

      i just lost my virginity and im in 7th grade going into 8th in august.

      honestly, i loved it ^^;

      but that's just me i don't know

      because the guy i had sex with is in 9th grade but he also lost it with me and hes not really that kind of person...

      even if he broke up with me or it doesn't work out i wouldn't regret it anyway

      just because you felt like that doesn't mean others do too you know...

      sex brought us closer than ever i think it actually helped

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Just lost it two days ago, where was this article than? I just wish I had waited... ):

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Great article. So very true... I wish I had waited

    • Ms.Love profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      I'm not saying its going to be a bad experience. I am telling about the side that could happen that many teens don't think about when it comes to sex. Sex is a great and an amazing thing but many teens now a day aren't thinking about what could happen. Some teens don't think about the later they only think about the now. When it comes to giving such an amazing gift to someone a person needs to think about what can happen in the now and future.

    • Hanna Bambina profile image

      Hanna Bambina 

      9 years ago

      Why are you insisting the first time is going to be bad for everyone just because it was for you. Don't put that idea in their heads...

    • profile image


      9 years ago


    • profile image


      9 years ago

      that helped so much, thanks x.

    • Lgali profile image


      9 years ago

      very good article


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