- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
I've Lost My Virginity. Now What?
This is hub is going to be from the woman's point of view.
If your a teenager in middle school or high school your probably hearing from behind hands whispers who did who and who broke up with who, etc. But I don't think anyone takes into consideration about the emotional turmoil that comes with having sex, especially in the teen years; yes that even include your eighteen and nineteen year old's that no longer consider yourselves teens.
I remember in elementary school the word IT meant sex. So anytime we heard the word it we would all giggle like fools. Little did we really know what the concept of sex really meant. Oh we knew where what body parts slide into what body part, we knew what happens to a boy when he had "happy thoughts." But we didn't know what was needed if you wanted to have sex. Damn the concept of having sex wasn't even on our minds.
The first time I figured out that teenagers were having sex was in 8th grade. I was 14 at the time, and I heard this girl tell this guy that he had left his belt at her house. At first I didn't think any thing of it, till she told him how good the other night was. UH?!?! Was all I could think, were they doing what I thought they were doing? No, that couldn't be possible, we're only 14 why would anyone want to be doing that. God, I didn't have my first french kiss till 7th grade. I didn't even know what petting was or even how to get to 3rd base. My only concern was if my bf was going to dump me, of if I didn't have a bf who my next one would be. Sex wasn't even on my mind at that age.
Skip ahead to high school, one of my friends in high school. Even my freshman year sex was HUGE it was the talk during lunch. I didn't get it, I just thought eh... nothing big, it doesn't involve me. Or so I thought.
My first sexual experience was in 9th grade. Okay here is the shocker teens; oral sex IS SEX!Yeah, I know big shocker, no one really knew this till Bill Clinton and Monica had their thing. I didn't know what the hell was going on, I knew what I was doing, but I didn't know what I was really doing. No, I didn't have intercourse. My bf at the time wanted to have sex, but I wasn't ready, I knew I wasn't ready.
Okay girls, this is something that will probably never change. If a guy has sex, he's the man. If a girl has sex, even oral, your a slut; even if it was with one guy. Once word is out your a slut and it's hard to get that name tag off your forehead. Sadly even if you don't do anything and the guy is upset about this and wants to make himself look like "The Man" he'll lie to his guys friends. Yes, guys if they don't know you will want to believe something that someone says about you before they want to believe that their guy friend didn't get "IT" Sad yes but reality.
I didn't have intercourse till 19. Okay teens where is some information to think about. The first time you have sex WILL NOTbe in a hotel room or some romantic place. Most likely it will be in your gf or bf basement on the couch or if there's a bed down there. Or it will be in the back seat of a car, not the most comfortable place. There won't be any candlelight or rose petals leading to the bed. If it's on the guys or girls bed, you could be making love on strawberry shortcake sheets or transformers bedsheets. They are not going to be some 400 count sheets or satin sheets, they are going to be something that when you look back on it your going to feel embrassed.
It's going to be weird, your going to be nervous, and your going to stumble around each others bodies. Also it won't be the long lingering love scences you see on TV. Most likely it will last 10 minutes at the most, girls if this is your first time there might be pain and bleeding or there might be. Guys, you might learn what the meaning of minute man is the first time you have sex.
Okay you and you bf have had sex, what now? Well, the relationship will continue for a while or if the guy is a total jerk, two weeks later he'll dump you and move onto his next bed lay. Sadly yes guys will think nothing of it and simply say sorry it's over and there you are standing there with your heart ripped out laying on the ground. It's gonna be trampled, ripped, and torn to pieces. You're gonna question what you did wrong, were you not good enough in bed, could you of done something better? Hun, its nothing you did, the only wrong thing you did was pick the wrong guy, and that's something any girl can do without knowing it. And there are girls like this too, so guys you aren't the only ones that can be total jerks when it comes to sex.
Here you are with your heart ripped out, now comes the crying, the wondering, and the if's. Oh there will be anger of why did you even sleep with that guy, why were you so stupid. You'll wish there was some magical rewind button you could push, or some magical way you could disappear and no one could find you.This is something we all go through.
Than you will finally emotionally calm down, months will past and you'll get into another relationship, sex will be brought up once again. You'll probably think that since you've already done it why not just do it again. That honey is a sad depressing slide that your heading down. Just because you've already done it doesn't mean you have to do it again. It's what you choose if you don't want to have sex again you don't have to. NO is a strong powerful word, learn it use and learn to use it proudly.
And don't listen to your guy friends or girlfriends if they say sex is just sex. No, it's not sex is something so physical, so emotional, so mential that it can change your own personal outlook on your self and how you live your life.
Sex is something so powerful that it has broke hearts, caused people to kill themselves and even to harm others if they find out their SO is cheating on them. It's amazing how such a small three letter word holds such power.
Something else is that couple eventually break up, and no matter how long a relationship has lasted. If you've had sex the break will hurt more, you will feel used, lost, and confused, along with the other emotions that come with a break up.
Sex isn't just sex, and love isn't just another word to be freely tossed around. If you choose to have sex, talk about it with your partner, what your expectations are. Talk about what think will happen aftewards, what forms of protection you both plan on using together.
Please just remember, as I said before sex isn't just sex. Sex is something you have with a real person with real feelings and real emotions.