- Gender and Relationships
Keep the Fire Going
Ideally, a marriage or a long-term relationship should last for years, even decades. Anytime a relationship lasts that long, it is bound to hit a few rough spots, some valleys between the peaks. But that doesn't mean you can't make also have a strong bond and hot fire burning between you!
Here are some tips to keeping the fires burning strong!
Stay connected with each other. We all have things in life that keep us very busy. Whether it is a job outside the home, working from the home, just keeping up with the household finances and chores and of course children are enough to keep a couple from having time or energy for an hot intimate life!
Some ideas to stay connected throughout the day are:
Send e-mails or text messages during the day, or make phone calls if possible. Make sure when you see each other at the end of the day that you stop what you are doing and take a few minutes to talk. Find out how each others' day went, the ups and downs and vents.
Schedule time for each other, yes schedule your intimate times! Silly as that sounds, it works!
Surprise your mate. Variety is the spice of life, right? Every now and then, do something unusual that he knows is against your usual patterns. If your partner loves bowling but you really do not care for it, then bite the bullet and suggest it one night. They will be touched that you made the effort, and you can still have a good time being together, even if the activity isn't your cup of tea. When you do this for each other, you start a pattern of compromises and sharing and you may even decide you like something you didn't before!
Keep the passion alive. Everyone jokes about how marriage is the cure for sex, and there's good reason. Within a few months, the passion usually dies down and couples fall into a rut: the same old sex in the same old positions at the same old times.
Unfortunately our busy lives can diminish our sex drive. Never "force" yourself to be intimate with each other, but do what you can to keep the mood alive.
Talk about it and try to create an atmosphere in your bedroom that is conducive to intimacy. Keep your bedroom clean of clutter and decorate it to reflect your personalities. Keep things of daily life out of the bedroom, such as the computer, don't sit in bed working on work on a laptop! Major mood killer.
Don't be afraid to use lotions, potions and other fun things to keep each other satisfied! There is nothing wrong with spicing things up with a little extra out of the ordinary fun!
Be positive. Criticizing or nagging are culprits of tearing down each others' self worth. When something is not quite right in the relationship, bring it up in a way that suggests calmness, rationality, and analysis. Don't say, "We need more money." Say, "What can we do to stretch our budget a bit further?"
If the car is broken down, again, don't say "The cheap bucket of bolts you bought is broken AGAIN!" There really is not much you can do at this point but to find a different car or fix the one you have, so tearing down your partner now only drives a wedge farther between you. When the issue is fixed is the time to sit down and discuss how to choose the next car or make a better decision.
Laugh and Have FUN. This can't be overstated. Laughter is the key to happiness in life. Be able to laugh at yourself, share that with your partner. If you're able to laugh at each other, it means you're able to affectionately tease and play together. (And I do not mean laughing at each others mistakes or failures either!) If you're laughing together at something else, it means you share a common sense of humor. It's a bonding experience.
Of course, men and women often laugh at different things. Find common ground of things you find funny and fun to do together. Find sitcom's you both like to watch, movies you both find fun and funny, etc.
Couples can drift apart over time without even realizing it is happening. Communication and compassion are so very important to keeping the drifting from happening to your relationship.
Let your love to each other be openly known as often as possible and always look on the positive side of things. Make your home a happy place for the two of you, a refuge from the world.