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Keeping a Girlfriend: Some Serious Advice

Updated on April 13, 2019
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Fernando is a millennial writer, natural philosopher, and Engineer looking to reinterpret social subtleties and add value.

Keeping a Girlfriend

Years have flown by, and I can’t stress just how much I’ve learned about myself and my lover. It’s not enough to be yourself, sometimes you need to learn to be who your significant other needs. There comes a time to reflect on yourself but to truly make a relationship work you need to reflect on the team. It’s something I hadn’t completely worked out on my own, something I had to learn with time. Maturity and time are related.

One of the greatest things I have learned is to believe in myself. At the end of the day, I am my own person. Nobody is going to teach me how to treat a woman. I can’t expect to be taught the life lessons I am required to already have learned. As an adult, your parents don’t hold your hand as they used to. We’re more susceptible to making mistakes, and more prone to committing errors, big or small. But the one mistake I won’t make is letting her go.

Relationships are scary, relationships are frightening. But what’s more frightening than her when she’s mad at me is myself. I juggle the responsibilities of being a man and being a coward. I empathize for others yet don’t truly give myself the time of day to work out my emotions. I cower in fear that I won’t be good enough, and that in and of itself should be considered a mortal sin.

Being in a relationship is more than just love and kisses – it’s enjoying every day of your life with that person whenever possible. It’s getting out and making lasting memories. It’s buying her flowers and making her smile. I vow to make her blush. If she’s not blushing, I’m not winning.

You don’t get second chances in life but that doesn’t mean you should be afraid to make changes. And one of the greatest changes in your life could be paying more attention to your significant other. Perhaps you’re not listening to a certain cue or she’s in need of your attention, love, and support. As a man it’s hard to find the perfect balance between work and play, school and love, priorities and your world. But, nonetheless, it’s something we need to live with and work on. For the woman of our lives will one day bear fruit – children for us hard working men. And when she finally gives you kids, you rub her back for working harder than you ever did.

Ask me, “why are relationships so hard to keep,” and you’ll find many replies. But, the best response to that question is this: you’re approaching it wrong. You see, you shouldn’t jump into a relationship unless it’s truly necessary to continue moving forward with that person. Not everyone deserves your time of day. In fact, I don’t believe everyone you date should move up to the special plate if your mother isn’t impressed. And to say that relationships are hard, is to say that you truly haven’t figured out what your doing wrong enough to find out why she hasn’t done anything wrong. You can’t expect two people to stick together without a little more work than theoretically calculable.

I feel people around me are satisfied with the bear minimum, that flowers and gifts and all sorts of small things will keep their lover satisfied long enough to last the ages. But there is no general universal rule as to how this approach suffices. A man may suffice relationship needs in some instances but may underserve in others. The key is to truly open your mind and to understand that women are delicate creatures that deserve your open attention. They give many hints and clues as to how the feel and how they want to be treated and approached.

There’s seriously so much to relationships that it’d be difficult to write them all at this time, though it would be ideal for me to get them down on paper. Nonetheless, I would love to hear more about your experiences.

© 2019 Ferny Vise


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