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How to Keep Romance Alive and Your Man Happy in Long Relationships

Updated on March 28, 2018
Robie Benve profile image

Robie is an artist that believes in positive thinking, a mother, a wife, and an incurable romantic.

How Do You Keep the Passion Alive?

In a long term relationship it takes some work and dedication to keep love and passion alive.

Women need romance, I think more than man. And with time the strong feelings of the beginning tend to fade.

What can you do to keep the romance in your relationship? Lots of things, some big, some small.
Below I share some things I've learned to be true about how to maintain a happy love relationship.

Tips and Ideas on how to keep romance in long term love relationships.
Tips and Ideas on how to keep romance in long term love relationships. | Source

How to Treasure your Partner

At the heart of nurturing your relationship is the act of treasuring your beloved.

- Hold him dear to you

- Appreciate his wonderful qualities and demonstrate how special he is to you

- Show him that he is the person who still makes your life beautiful

- Be nurturing

Beware the Comfort Zone: After Some Time Love Becomes Routine

After you have been together for a while, and you grow confident in your relationship, you tend to relax and you may lower your guard, showing sides of yourself that you camouflaged during the initial courtship.

As the pink lenses of love fade, the perfect being of your affection starts showing some flaws - and so do you at his eyes.

You are still happy together, but without any tangible sign, each day contributes to the evolution of your connection. Your feelings for one another subtly change.

What was lovely and exciting at the beginning, could become the same old.

To the slow sentiment-changing action of time, you need to add major life-changing events, like the things that we all want: marriage, children and important jobs.

Under the stress of a busy and demanding life, the once thrilling relationship can get really unrecognizable, to the point that some couples lose all the romance and get caught in misunderstandings, continuous arguments or, even worse in my opinion, complete indifference.

How Do You Keep Falling in Love for the Same Person?

Falling in love again with your spouse does not happen automatically, you must pursue it with dedication and tenderness.
Falling in love again with your spouse does not happen automatically, you must pursue it with dedication and tenderness. | Source

Make Your Man Happy Nurturing Romance Like a Loving Gardener

A love relationship is like a beautiful flower garden, it needs grooming and constant care. If you don’t keep working on your garden, weeds and withered flowers will take over. You need to keep the magic up by nurturing that initial wonderful feeling, and keep it thriving.

The challenge for any couple is to maintain alive the initial feeling of magic through continuous nourishment. Nurturing the connection you have with your partner is what sustains the relationship.

Focus on Your Partner’s Positive Qualities

Focus on your partner’s positives rather than his flaws. As you did when you first fell in love with him, focus on what you do like about him and not dwell on things you do not like.

Remember why you chose him; refocus on the qualities that made you fall in love. Shift from criticism over the imperfect things you discovered about him, to appreciation for his qualities. Keep falling in love, for the same person, over and over.

Love Is Giving without Expectations to Receive - And You'll Receive

A successful relationship is never the fruit of one party’s effort only. It takes both partners to make it work.

However, I believe that in love, the best rule is "Give without expectations" . It pays off to be on the forefront, being the first one who steps up and gives meaningfully to the relationship.

I’m not talking about gifts here. Do your best to show love with your words, actions and sometimes sacrifices, without expecting pats on the back, gifts, or recognition.

Your partner will perceive that love. He will appreciate it. Your relationship will gain extra power from it, and the next thing you know, he’ll be doing nice things for you.

Devote your attention, your energy, and yourself, to nourishing the romance.

Remember why you chose him; refocus on the qualities that made you fall in love. Shift from criticism over the imperfect things you discovered about him, to appreciation for his qualities.
Remember why you chose him; refocus on the qualities that made you fall in love. Shift from criticism over the imperfect things you discovered about him, to appreciation for his qualities. | Source

The Little Things That Count

What really builds the foundations of the relationship, are not the big planned surprises, or big words, but the small daily deeds entailing love and respect.

To keep the romance in the couple, you don’t need big, heroic, passionate gestures. Yes, those are always great and very welcome, but honestly, how often can you do grandiose acts of love? Maybe few times a year, for anniversaries and birthdays.

What really counts is the everyday stuff. Here are some ideas for everyday acts of love and dedication that can make your man happy.

Give Him a Warm Welcome Home

Welcome him home with warmth and kindness. At the end of the day, after a day of work, greet your man cheerfully, even if you can’t wait to vent your day’s frustrations, don’t start complaining the moment he walks in. Give him the chance to relax; wait for a better moment to share your issues.

Prevent your special love from fading. Devote your attention, your energy, and yourself, to nourishing the romance.
Prevent your special love from fading. Devote your attention, your energy, and yourself, to nourishing the romance. | Source

Help Him Out

Volunteer to help him with errands if his day is overload.

Meet His Needs

Turn his wishes into reality. Listen carefully to what he is wishing for, and find creative ways to make it happen.

Show Love on the Table

Cook for him. Men love finding a nice dinner waiting for them at home, it makes them feeling loved and cared for. Better yet you have his favorite food on a nicely set table. If he packs his lunch, do it for him. He’ll appreciate.

Surprise Him with a Note

Write a cute note and slip it in his lunch box, car, or stick it on his keys.

Keep Intimacy Alive

Keep it fun in the bedroom. Surprise him with the sexy stuff that you know he loves. Keep the physical intimacy exciting and passionate.

Keep intimacy alive.
Keep intimacy alive. | Source

Make Your Home Cozy

Keep the house welcoming and comfortable, make it a nice place to come home to. This may involve removing clutter and doing some extra cleaning.

Keep the Conversation Going

Listen to him, ask how his day was and really listen to his answers. Ask him for advice on matters that you would usually handle yourself and listen to his opinion.

Keep the Smiles Coming

Laugh together. Laughing together boosts the joyful spirit that connected you in the first place.

What really builds the foundations of the relationship, are not the big planned surprises, or big words, but the small daily deeds entailing love and respect.
What really builds the foundations of the relationship, are not the big planned surprises, or big words, but the small daily deeds entailing love and respect. | Source

Clear Things Up Before Bed Time

Never go to bed angry. Communicate, express your feelings, talk it out, possibly find a compromise; try everything to avoid going to sleep packed with resentment and sadness.

Laugh together. Do some light-hearted stuff that helps both of you to unwind and take it easy.
Laugh together. Do some light-hearted stuff that helps both of you to unwind and take it easy. | Source

Play Games

Play games together. Spend quality time together playing games that you both enjoy. Board games, sports, trivia, what do you both enjoy? You’ll have some fun time, create memories to cherish, and strengthen your connection.

Sowing the Seeds of Love to Keep Romance in Marriage

If you make give without expectations your everyday rule, all your dedication will not go unnoticed.

Your man will notice and appreciate your efforts; he will recognize what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Every little act of love you do it's like a seed planted in the garden of your relationship, and soon enough you’ll see the fruits of your hard work.

A man that feels loved, respected, and cared for is a happy man, and he will do his best to make you happy too.

He will look forward to come home and spend time with you.

His thankfulness for being appreciated and loved will reward you with a greater happiness and a stronger bond in your relationship.



© 2012 Robie Benve

Comments

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    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Hi Jamesrudy yap, sorry your comment ended up in spam, but I rescued it! :) Love does truly begin with me and giving. Thanks a lot for reading and leaving feedback.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Dear Kate, I'm flattered that you learned something from my hub, I see from your profile that you are married with two children; being able to write something that can inspire people like you to try a new approach in their relationship is quite an accomplishment! Thanks a lot for stopping by and your nice comment. :)

    • Kate Mc Bride profile image

      Kate McBride 

      5 years ago from Donegal Ireland

      Two things I have learned from your hub are to give without expecting anything in return and focussing on good points instead of faults.I am going to try these. There is a lot of wisdom and common sense in this hub and I voted it up and useful. Thanks for sharing your wise words here.

    • Jamesrudy Yap profile image

      Jamesrudy 

      5 years ago from Denpasar, Bali, Indonesia

      a very nice hub ,Love begins with me . we can give without loving , but we can't love without giving . hv a great weekend everyone

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Hi Jenincognito, how wonderful you found some ideas that can work for you in my hub. :) Best wishes for a long, romantic, and happy marriage!

      Thanks a lot for taking the time to comment :)

    • JenIncognito profile image

      JenIncognito 

      5 years ago

      This was a great hub filled with really good ideas. I will be using some of these in my own marriage. Thanks. Voted up.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Trusouldj, isn't it awful when money issues get in the way of love? My best advice would be talk to each other and be honest even about potentially embarrassing topics like unpaid bills or debts. Especially in a marriage, couples need to be on the same page, knowing the financial commitments and cooperating to meet them.

    • trusouldj profile image

      LaZeric Freeman 

      5 years ago from Hammond

      I hate when the business of the relationship (bills, etc.) gets in the way of the romantic elements.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      @ vmott and tobusiness - I'm happy you like the gardening metaphor. The cool thing is that you can tend to your relationship no matter the weather, rain or shine. :)

      @ tobusiness - I agree with you, I had mixed feelings about using the MLK quote, then I thought it fit well the "bring back the newlywed feeling", and I went for it. Aren't we all like that at the beginning, when it's so hard to stay apart?

      Thanks both for stopping by and leaving insightful comments. :)

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      @ sunkentreasure - thanks for sharing those beautiful words by Bernard Levine. Very inspiring! :)

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 

      6 years ago from Lincolnshire, U.K

      I'm not sure about the Martin Luther's quote, or how relevant it is in our modern society; But I love likening marriage to a garden. Sometime you just can't sum up the energy or enthusiasm, but when you do.... it is well worth the effort

    • vmott profile image

      vmott 

      6 years ago from Ozark Mountains

      I love your hub! It is so true that a marriage is like a garden and needs constant tending. And much like tending that garden, tending the marriage can be so relaxing and enjoyable. Simple things like appreciation and respect for each other go along way.

    • sunkentreasure profile image

      BERNARD LEVINE 

      6 years ago from RUIMSIG, SOUTH AFRICA

      SECRETS OF LOVE By BERNARD LEVINE

      Make your love one feel special everyday.

      Do not allow your lives to become routine -

      prepare lots of different activities to enjoy.

      Never take your loved one for granted.

      Keep your love forever precious,

      sacred and beautiful.

      What you put into your love

      is what you will get out of your love.

      Enrich your lives with prayer.

      Always be your partners best friend.

      © Bernard Levine

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