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Killing Your Fears for Good

Updated on April 21, 2019
Stephanie Billon profile image

Stephanie Billon is a writer, enjoys being a mother, health & fitness pro, a promotional model & brand ambassador, and estate sales planner


Imagine that you are walking into a new situation with your senses sharpened and your mind at full alert.

Your heart is pounding and beating at high speed. You have so much energy that you could beat anyone at a fifty yard dash right now.

Your senses feel sharper, you can even see better ; this is because your senses are heightened right now and you are in full alert.

Would you like to feel this way? You might think that you could use that extra energy to get rid of some of your piles at work or to finish all those household chores. Wouldn’t this be great if you were actually able to feel this way all at once when you wanted to?

Well you can and you do; and it all comes from something inside you called fear and anxiety.Fear and anxiety causes your body to go into a fight or flee mode. The body and it’s brain turns off the digestive system because you don’t need your digestive system at this moment. Your mind is activated to become more alert and be able to focus on one thing. Your body activates adrenaline to act decisively, activates the big muscles so you are able to run, and tenses the body so that you are sure ready for this dangerous situation.

What is Fear?

Fear is the emotion in which what your thinking mind goes into an emergency communication with your brain which tells your body to react the way it does. Fear is your primitive way of your body warning you physically because of what your mind is telling you mentally. In some points in your life, fear may have saved your life from something bad that was going to happen.

Fear is when you are worried about a future consequence. It is a feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger (Or what we think to be danger).

Anxiety is a non-specific fear. You are "loss" or a "future hardship". The problem is that you are probably fearing for something to happen that actually will not take place or happen.

Turn this Nervous Energy into Something Better

During anxiety-provoking experiences, your body's response might be automatic, but with practice, you can develop the skills to transform your distress into something more positive.

When you feel excitement over something that is about to happen, it feels pretty much the same way as fear. In fact, the only difference between fear and excitement is what we label it. They are very much similar with the same physiological and emotional reaction. The only difference is that we use fear as a negative and excitement as a positive.

Other than a minimal few correct instincts that you related to your fears, 99 percent of all fears are created from a false belief about their being danger.Notice that with all of your fears that nothing actually happened "out there" in the real world. All that happened was you had a thought and you believed it to be real and then you sent the message to the body and it responded to what you thought the threat to be. It generated fight/flight emotions and/or readiness emotions like anxiety.

Things that we fear:

We fear the consequences of what will happen.

We fear making mistakes and looking dumb.

We fear we will lose something.

We fear not being good enough.

We fear abandonment.

We fear loss of approval.

Emotions are caused by our thoughts

You are actually able to control your emotions ......

We think we cannot control our emotions; but we know that we do create our own thoughts. As soon as you have a thought that makes you sad while you are at work, we change that thought by focusing on something at work.

Since we can control our thoughts, then we can control our emotions.

We need to catch the thought as soon as we notice it.

We then create a thought that will stop the emotion.

In the end, you can control your response to your emotions;

which means you can stop them!

How long is one actual thought?

Emotions last a maximum of 90 seconds on their own and will only continue if we keep on thinking about them.

Your Fears are Often Based on False Pretentions

Most things that we fear don’t actually happen.

To manage our lives properly we need to be able to operate from a positive point of view and cannot possibly operate well from fears.

These are just unexamined misbeliefs.

They are simply made up and not real.

The irony is that we proceed to make up stories and gather evidence that support these misbeliefs and then we think our stories and our evidence are real; but they are not. They are only made up; so we need to learn the difference.

Failing and making mistakes are fears that we need to face because they are a part of learning.

Avoiding your Fears will Make you feel Like a Wimp

Stop running from your fears. If you don't face them you will feel even worse than ever. You will feel something worse than failure every single time and this will lower your self esteem. Every time you walk away from that fear, the fear gets stronger and stronger. Ask yourself: what is the worst thing possible that could happen if I face this right now? Think of this as practice. Practice makes us stronger; practice also builds our self-esteem. Our confidence rises as we face the fear or anxiety on a consistent basis. The heroes today didn't start out that way. People don't become professional or an expert at something without tons and tons of practice; but they faced the fear every time. Practicing over and over makes us a professional and makes us look like we were born talented.

We are not usually born talented; we had to fall many times and keep on practicing to get better and better at it. Being afraid of something instead of facing is not only making the fear stronger but it exposes the fear and helps it to grow stronger.

Exposure is by far the most potent medicine known to psychology. It is responsible, directly or indirectly, for most positive improvement achieved in practice or dealing with the fear that we have.

Care about You

  • The first step is to remember that you have the power to choose your response. Ask yourself some questions, face it head on. Why is this happening? What exactly is the problem? Can you define it? This process engages your prefrontal cortex. Anxiety is kicked off by the area of your brain known as the amygdala (a.k.a., the crocodile brain). Since this area is part of the prefrontal cortex, the questions allow you to interrupt the pattern of fear.
  • Be prepared to feel your feelings and be uncomfortable until it passes. Get to know your anxiety, embrace it. Go with the emotion. Realize that this emotion is a thought.
  • Have empathy for yourself and break the shame cycle. Anxiety sufferers are masters at mentally beating themselves up with guilt, shame, worry, and embarrassment. Remember that it's not your fault. Be gentle on yourself.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2019 Stephanie Billon


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