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Lack of Intimacy Can Destroy Your Marriage

Updated on October 17, 2015

Marriage Without Intimacy

A beautiful wedding is no indication that the marriage that follows will be beautiful. A month after marriage, Joe slapped Tina, a quick, open-handed blow that hurt; a token of violence intended to remind her, that he was the boss. “You’re getting hysterical,” he accused. “Shut up if you can’t talk sense.”

Tina was shocked. She experienced sexual repulsion. She noticed many other areas of her life no longer gave her joy. She was uninterested in clothes, unable to eat, unmoved by beauty in art, became easily bored and almost unable to laugh at things she knew she ought to have found funny. Every sensual faculty she possessed seemed to be frozen. She regarded marriage as a kind of prison, and felt divorce a form of freedom from bondage.

A cold marriage devoid of the love and connection of physical intimacy is a depressing thing and in many cases is healing for divorce from the relationship issues surrounding their sexless marriage.

Are you afraid that you would be taken for granted by your loved one? Are you too all battled up with that kind of feeling? Are you also afraid that you will lose him? What you should be doing by now is to save your marriage. Make it a point of duty to be on top of his priority list. Take some time off from your busy schedule so that you can be able to bond with your spouse.

Mrs. Jacobs gave vent to her feelings after she had waited in vain for her husband to mend his ways. “I am currently in a terrible marriage where one foot is already out the door. I have been married for eight years, however, for the past three years; I have received very little affection from my husband. He has not shown interest in me physically for the past two years, and this year, despite me addressing it repeatedly he has done nothing to try a remedy the situation. Being in my early thirties, my life has just started and I can’t last another two years without physical contact. It is the loneliest feeling in the world to imagine the rest of your life craving for the touch of another person. This type of rejection can really be frustrating.”

She decided she had more chances of finding happiness without him rather than with him. I think intimacy is something that couples need to continually work on together and alone. Intimacy is fun, but it is also work. Rekindling the fires of passions in a relationship takes energy and effort. We must continually choose creativity over complacency if we want a deep and satisfying marriage that lasts a lifetime. One of the ways we can deepen our relationships with our spouse is to discover creative ways to enjoy each other’s company. Intimacy develops as we find activities that we have fun doing together. Of course, that’s not always easy. As men and women are innately different, we may not necessarily enjoy doing all of the same things. Sports can be a great way to develop intimacy. Some sports may be enjoyed best between husbands and their friends, but other sports can be enjoyed as a couple such as lawn tennis.

Another way we can strengthen our intimacy with our spouse is by planning dates. Dating is not just for couples who are courting. Fun, romantic, purposeful dates are important for married couple too. Communication is the key to a great date. Talk over the plan with your spouse and agree to do something that you would both find enjoyable

Taking family vacations is important, but taking trips that are for just the two of you is important too. Being together for more than twenty-four hours tends to bring good things to the surface. Difficult issues may surface too; but a trip together is a healthy time to face each other, experience each other, and grow together without the influence of kids or other people. Vacations don’t have to be expensive. Look for cheap airfares, hotel deals, and rental car offers. . Despite that intimacy is necessary each of you need time to be alone. You need breathing space. Your partner feel loved when you encourage them to take some time for themselves.

A marriage that has suffered for a long time a lack of physical, love and relationships can be difficult things to navigate; you must also tread carefully to avoid making matter worse. Do not force the issue; do not get angry or aggressive, as this will drive your spouse further away. Be patient and be compassionate.

A marriage without intimacy isn’t much of a marriage at all. The lack of closeness, bonding and true connection can lead to such estrangement that the marriage itself will have a difficult time surviving. Marital intimacy is critical to happiness in a marriage, but many couples struggle with intimacy problems and are unsure what to do about it.

Intimacy is a marriage includes, but is not limited to a close physical relationship and satisfying sex life. Marital intimacy includes the emotional and spiritual connection between a husband and wife the leads to them “becoming one” as many wedding ceremonies state marriage should be. Are you in a marriage without intimacy? Do you or your spouse have trouble communicating your deepest needs and desires? Your spouse should be your closes confidant, your partner and your lover. He or she intended to be the first place you turn for the joys and the trials of life.

Intimacy begins with communication. Both partners need to feel safe and worthy of sharing their own thoughts and feelings and listening to the other’s thoughts and feelings. Providing a safe place for your partner to communicate means you don’t judge or criticize when your partner shares his thoughts or feelings with you. You can and will disagree with each other, but agree to disagree without passing judgment or placing blame in order to retain intimacy.

Intimacy problems can also be overcome through mutual respect and caring. Taking time to show your spouse just how much she/he matters to you is vital. Respect includes listening, acknowledging your partner’s successes, comforting her through disappointments and failures and stand by his/her side through trying times.

Intimacy problems happen to many couples. If you and your spouse are experiencing marital problems, take step today to begin to resolve the problem before it leads to deeper pain and perhaps the failure of your marriage. A marriage without intimacy is lacking the primary element that differentiates marriage from ordinary relationship. Fun, romantic, purposeful dates are important for married couple too.

If both of you are not committed to making your union work, you won’t be able to endure the ups and downs of marriage. When one person starts feeling unloving thoughts –and there will always be those times –there will be a breakdown in your relationship. You must have a moral framework to motivate yourselves to work through difficulties that will surely appear in your marriage.Marriage Without


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    • Chuksm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anthony Modungwo 

      3 years ago from Benin

      The situation is complex. But because your wife is having some health challenges is not enough reason to abandon her. This is the period she needs you most. She may not be able to have sexual intercourse and this could be difficult for you. Try to seek medical advice about her condition. She may be able to overcome her problems with time. When you married, you vowed to be with her in sickness and in health, till death do you part.


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