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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Ladies: Don't be a plain Jane. Be a 'W.O.W.'! (Woman of Worth)
What is a 'Woman of Worth' (W.O.W.)?
I just got done with a chat reading on one of my networks. In the spur of the moment, I came up with a new acronym to define herself.
A 'W.O.W.' Woman of Worth.
I will keep the context of this reading confidential. However, in a more general context, I am frequently asked by clients on a daily basis, what it takes to get and keep a man these days.
The answer lies within you.
The answer is to believe in the value of attraction over promotion.
Many of you are familiar with the concepts from the Law of Attraction, defined in the world-renowned publication, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I like to add to that concept by sharing an additional view on attraction, that I learned from the 12-step programs.
These programs defined this principle to protect the members' anonymity. However, I do believe that an additional factor of the eleventh tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous, is also to state that the simplicity of its message speaks for itself.
Now, translate this into a man you know, are attracted to, and want to impress.
It may be true you have done things for this human being that you deeply care about. Looking back on it, you realize how you may have promoted yourself instead of trusted in your inherent value.
Relationships, both platonic and romantic, are meant to be a give-and-take. One must be comfortable with both giving and receiving if it is to feel beneficial to both parties. When one person 'does' more than 'is', there is an imbalance that must be recognized.
That being said, doing things out of kindness proceeds from who you are. Looking back and feeling ashamed does not help the matter. Remember that an all-powerful Higher Being makes good out of every imperfection in our lives. This Power greater than ourselves may supply someone an individual who has strong codependent tendencies (needing to 'do' to feel value to another) to help someone else through a difficult time when that other person has little to no resources.
In a previous HubPages article, I discussed an example of this, regarding a man, 'R'. 'R' was in my life romantically from 2013-2015, although we did not have a defined or committed relationship. I ended up meeting 'R' when he was a puppet manager in a computer repair shop, and found out he was barely getting paid by the owner. He lived on next to nothing, and had nowhere to call home, but the shop itself.
I took it upon myself to buy him food, take him out to our favorite restaurant (Olive Garden) a number of times, and even bring Olive Garden take-out to his shop so we could eat together while he was helping customers repair their computers.
Later, when the shop closed down, he moved to a warehouse east of the city, survived in 20 below zero weather with no heat in that building, and even got bit by a rat. Again, I took it upon myself to bring him into the emergency room and pay for his antibiotic prescription. Being a pharmacist, I affirmed that the antibiotic was correctly chosen. I was so caught up in taking care of this man who didn't even deserve me!!
I last saw him when he left two years later. The fact that he moved on hurt, but he affirmed that I needed to take care of myself now.
And I started doing that the very next year.
That is when I started my 'body recovery journey' that still continues today. Every day when I sign on to do readings, I also fill my bathtub up with water and Epsom salts. I set up my laptop on the toilet seat, to the left of me, so I can take chat readings. When my phone rings, I don a bathrobe and off I go to the races! Fresh energy with every single reading.
That's how you go from being a plain Jane to 'W.O.W.'
When you put the effort into yourself, in a properly selfish way, and do that consistently, day in and day out, you are able to give back someday that will surpass what you've been able to give up until that point.
If you do decide to participate in random acts of kindness, it will not feel so conditional as when you felt drained. And, you will be able to stand up for yourself because you knew what work went into raising your vibration. You know how precious that task was. Nobody is going to lower you down a notch ever again!
A lot of times with 'R', I would sit up at night wondering when I was going to get my reward, my payback. I did one day when I asked for money to help cover my own bills. He loaned me $200, initially beating me up and making me feel guilty for doing so. In time though, because my own behavior improved over time, and he saw what work I was putting into myself, he eventually forgave the loan.
The bottom line ladies: It's not just the balance sheet of what you gave each other, what resources you invested for each others' benefit. It's the spirit with how each of you give and receive.
I am not perfect. I continue to struggle with this daily, as any of us are in this incarnation on Earth. Awareness is key. Raise yourself out of 'plain Jane' status and W.O.W. yourself and others today!