ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships

Women are Utterly Complete in Their Personas- The VERY Idea That Women NEED Men To Complete Them Is So Atavistic!

Updated on September 8, 2013
gmwilliams profile image

Grace loves to write commentaries on psycho-cultural and sociocultural dynamics in their myriad forms.

YOU Must Have A Man, Dear, YOU Need Companionship

Women are often made to feel that they are insignificant if they are not in a relationship, either marriage and/or other types of relationships.This pressure often comes from parents, relatives, and friends.
Women are often made to feel that they are insignificant if they are not in a relationship, either marriage and/or other types of relationships.This pressure often comes from parents, relatives, and friends.
Relationships, whether marriage or other types of relationships, DO NOT complete women.  They are COMPLETE women by and of themselves.  A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, no more, no less.
Relationships, whether marriage or other types of relationships, DO NOT complete women. They are COMPLETE women by and of themselves. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, no more, no less.

I am #$%@! Fine By Myself, THANK You

Women have been inculcated that it is not good to be alone. They are further told that if they have no man, they will be old, embittered, and alone. If they are happy with their life situations, they are told that they are subconsciously unhappy and refuse to accept the "truth" of their situation.

Many relationshipless women can recount countless and innumerable times in their lives have well-meaning parents, relatives, friends, and associates portend that they would be much happier if they had men in their lives. When they inform their parents, relatives, friends, and associates otherwise, the latter often do not wish to listen to them. They are told that they are insufficient and incomplete because they are not in a relationship, either noncommittal or committal.

There is a subliminal message that conveys that in order for women to be happy, they must have a man to supplement and complete their lives. Further messages mandate that a true woman has a man and/or is in a relationship in one way or another. A woman who elects not to be in a relationship either at the time or ever is view as quite odd to say the least. Many people contend that such women are indeed an oddity!

Yes, there are women who are quite content without relationships and on their own. They have hobbies and other pasttimes to emotionally and psychologically fulfill them. Many relationshipless women participate in church, community projects, and/or related activities. In addition to their fulfilling personal lives, their professional lives are also quite enriching. These women do not have a supposed emotional void because they do not have men in their lives. In fact, their lives are quite intense, fulfilling, and complete in and of itself.

The premise that women need men to make them complete is totally atavistic. The postmodern woman has the educational, intellectual, and socioeconomic means to support herself. With this independence, she is the master of her own domain. She can wine and dine herself. She can purchase an expensive item herself. She also has the freedom to do whatever she pleases without answering to anyone. This woman owns her life.

Of course, there are people who are quite uncomfortable and threatened by the prospect that there are some women who do not want to be in relationships, either temporarily and/or permanently. These people are of the opinion that a woman is solely defined by her relationships. They further purport that it is the desire of every woman to be in a relationship as women are the nurturing gender.

There are women who are not nurturers by nature. They could care less as to whether or not, they are in relationships. These women often have a high sense of individualization. They can navigate their life quite effectively on their own, thank you very much. They are not into the societal premise that the primary function of a woman is be in a relationship.

To these women, men are just appetizers and/or desserts. They contend that if there is a man in their lives, that's fine and if there is no man in their lives, that is equally fine. They have things to do. To these women, men are not the main course so to speak.

In fact, these women portend that so many of their counterparts are too obsessed with being in a relationship. They view how their family, relatives, and friends put themselves last while the men were placed first. They are further witnesses to how these same women are totally emotionally and psychological dependent on their men and when the men left them for one reason or another, they become quite emotionally and psychologically devastated. They know of women not in relationships but were maniacally seeking to be in one at often, even if it is with a less than desirable men at often a high consequence to pay.

Many relationshipless women observe women in less than positive relationships who endured verbal, emotional, and physical abuse from their partners because a relationship was that important to them. The unwritten and unspoken mandate that any man is better than no man does not suffice at all with women who do not wish to be in relationships. These women clearly will not sell their souls to be in relationships, they have too much respect for themselves.

Such women also find the neediness that many women exhibit in their relationships to be quite melodramatic in its absurdity. In their estimation, it is totally inane that intelligent, thinking women would revert to being Stepford women in order to inflate their partner's ego and to appear more desirable to them. They are of the school that they do what makes them feel good regardless or not men's egos are comfortable with their actions. They are true to themselves and are not into playing the inane and fatuous games that are often de rigueur in relationships.

Many women are in relationships in order to have the approval of their friends. If their friends are in relationships, they want to be in relationships also. They feel an innate exhilaration being part of a group. If they do not have relationships, they would feel excluded and/or ostracized by their particular circle of friends.

Many relationshipless women have endured ostracization and ridicule from their family and friends. The latter believe that something is truly amiss with the former. Women who express disinterest in relationships are often viewed quite humorlessly by society. They are also viewed to be abnormal and needs "fixing."

Many women who do not have relationships have family and friends "arrange" dates for them. Family and friends mistakenly contend that their relationshipless relative and/or friend is evidently lonely and what she needs is a man to fill her days period, no ifs , ands and/or buts. I remember one mother of a daughter who routinely took her to Las Vegas with the purpose of fixing her up available men. The mother even told the daughter to flirt with a lounge singer who was flirting with her. The daughter did not want a relationship at that point. She was quite satisfied with her life as is. The main apprehension of such family members and friends is that their relationshipless other will grow old without a companion! They further contend that no relationshipless woman is ever happy!

There are many elderly women without companions who have fulfilling lives. They have no regrets not being in relationships. I had a great aunt who never married and/or did not date much. Her main interests were church, charity, and being an aunt and great aunt to a slew of nieces and nephews. In addition to those varied interests, she also had a thriving career at a time when women were relegated to more traditional jobs and/or careers. She lived and did whatever she wanted. She rejoiced in her freedom and independence, not having to answer to anyone and/or not sublimating her desires and wants for the sake of the relationship at hand.

In summation, women are pressured to be in relationships. Women are indoctrinated in this beginning in childhood. The premise is that it is normal and desirable for women to be in relationship as they are the nurturing gender. Conversely, any woman who is not in a relationship is considered to be quite abnormal. She is told that if she is not in a relationship, she was a spinster who would grow old alone and embittered as if the only source of happiness is a relationship. Many people are quite threatened by relationshipless women as they are not the typical representations of women.

Many relationshipless women are quite happy with their lives as they have career, church, charitable, and other interests to occupy their time. Relationships are clearly not the be and end all to women's lives. A woman without a man is analogous to a fish without a bicycle. In other words, men are clearly not necessary to a woman's happiness, they are fine and are just desserts.





© 2012 Grace Marguerite Williams

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Sandra 5 years ago

      I love this hub. It is so true. After being in relationships for 24 years I am now very happily alone but still find my friends want to help me to get a man. I find it frustrating that women devalue themselves so much and are so singleminded and obsessed with their relationships. I love the freedom and independence that I have now. Men are definitely best left for dessert.

    • Tonipet profile image

      Tonette Fornillos 6 years ago from The City of Generals

      I can say that being alone may be good but it's better not to be alone. I'm single and have always been told that if I remain manless (what a term!) I will be lonely when I get old. They're probably right as I start to feel I should have someone because I like it better that way. The little I have is not enough to compensate the presence of someone who can complete that space in my life.

      Lovely hub. I can relate! Thank you gmwilliams. A must-vote:=)

    • gmwilliams profile image
      Author

      Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      To Au fait: Thank you for your response.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 6 years ago from North Texas

      Great hub! People often tell me I should want to be married and I tell them I need a husband like a fish needs a bicycle (Gloria Steinem quote). The last thing I need is another job that doesn't pay or someone to think and make decisions for me.

      I really think people are threatened by successful women who are not attached to men in the traditional ways. Some men may fear that more women will see how well we're managing without men and opt in. Many women seem to need to have a man around so they can say they're not alone -- as you have explained -- and then they need the rest of us (women) to envy them on top of that yet! Is that so they'll feel validated in their life/relationship choices?

      If women are so positive they have to have a man, and that they've made the right relationship choice (to be with a man as opposed to not being with a man) why do they need those of us without a man to bless their choice? Why must all women live life their way? It's all about control and forcing people to conform.

    • profile image

      Sophia Angelique 6 years ago

      I think that there is a lot of truth in this. I certainly wish I hadn't been so exposed to being told that I needed a man. I wonder wouldn't have made a lot of decisions that I did make.

    • jacobkuttyta profile image

      jacobkuttyta 6 years ago from Delhi, India

      Interesting and well written

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)