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Five Love Languages: Secrets Revealed

Updated on April 27, 2011
Have you ever felt misunderstood by your partner?
Have you ever felt misunderstood by your partner?

Little Known Secrets Revealed:

Ever been in a one way relationship? Ever wondered why some guys are so hung up on coming home to a warm meal and a clean house? Ever wondered why some gals go weak at the knee's when you give them a gift?

We've all that experience at some time where we've wondered "Why don't they love me as much as love them?" What if you discovered that the did love you...they just spoke it in a different language?

The definition of love....

Love is long suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag or get puffed up with pride. It does not behave indecently or look after it's own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account over injury.

It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

How to Recognize the Five Languages Of Love

At one time or another, we have all sensed that our feelings for someone are stronger than those felt in return. In which case we may feel trapped in a loveless relationship.

If your spouse speaks one language and you speak another...well of course there's going to be problems. Today your going to discover the secrets of recognizing love languages and how to translate them.

The Five Languages of Love

Physical Touch - People who need close physical contact to feel appreciated - cuddley people - often hug hello and goodbye - does not include sex

Verbal Confirmation - People who rely on spoken word to feel appreciated - thrive on compliments - like to hear "I love you"

Quality Time - People who require undivided attention - is happiest when in the company of others regardless of the activities - seeks close company with loved ones

Acts Of Service - People who need showing they are loved - need to feel like the are being tended on - have a little bit of "princess syndrome"

Gifts - People who rely on gifts to feel appreciated - gifts can be of little monetary value - likes to give and receive notes and suprises

Do you recognize your language?

Many people may relate to two languages however the vast majority will have one primary language. What we so often fail to realize is that we give love in the same language we want to receive it in. Therefore when your primary language is verbal confirmation but your spouse gives you quality time then compications are bound to occur. By learning each other's love languages you will also be able to recognize when your partner is giving you love that that you otherwise could have missed out on.

Physical Contact

Physical contact is probably one of the most common languages especially in the early stages of a relationship. It is not to be confused with sex, which is an important part of any love language.

If you're primary language is physical contact then the simple act of cuddling or holding hands is enough to send your heart aflutter. You probably find yourself reaching out to touch your partner whenever they enter arms reach. You may like your loved one fiddling with your hair and love a good massage.People describe you as a touchy feely person because you bond with other's by means of skin contact.

To give love in this language a simple touch whilst walking past each other in the hallway or a soft kiss when it's least expected will mean the world to your partner.

Five Star Books That Will Change The Way You Love

Verbal Confirmation

Those who speak the language of verbal confirmation are more prone than any other to ask the big question...well, does my bum look big in this?

If you speak this language then a simple complimment will send you weak at the knee's and you'll never get tired of hearing "I love you." you'll probably feel underappreciated when your partner fails to recognize that you've dyed your hair or bought a new shirt. You want to hear that you have done a good job and a flattering compliment will make you feel sixteen again

Giving love in this language is a matter of being a little more observant. Your partner needs to be verbally recognized for his/her work and contribution to your life. They want to hear things like "this is've outdone yourself" and "what would I do without you?" They also need lots of comments (so they know that you have noticed) and compliments...and of course, to hear "I love you."

Quality Time

All the gold in the world means nothing to these people and you could flatter them to the ends of time with ni real effect.

If your language is time then it has to be quality. You're happiest when you're alone with your partner...just being. You may want to be wined and dined forever or just spend the night alone on the sofa...whatever the case, you need their company.

To give love in this language you need to shut the door and turn of the phone. Your partner will be in his/her element just being with you but if you really want to impress then aim for romantic too - a picnic, a night at the movies. This relationship will be one non stop "date." Set aside some alone time each day to just talk and check in on each other.

Acts of Service

The Hollywood classic. Mum stays at home and Dad walks in from a hard day at the office to find the table set and a warm plate of food. Whilst this stereotypical family has become rather dated the love language itself is still very valid.

If your primary love language involves acts of service then you love the thought of your partner spending time and energy making life that little bit easer. You may not even recognize this language but you love to come home to find a clean bin bag and the laundry folded...don't we all!

To give love in this language requires some consideration on your part - find ways small or large of helping to relieve your partner of his/her daily duties. From opening doors to washing the small task will go unnoticed.

These people invented the saying "It's the thought that counts."
These people invented the saying "It's the thought that counts."


These people aren't necessarily materialistic - they just like a thoughtful gift.

If you speak this language then you love it when your partner is thoughtful enough to bring you something you need - it doesn't have to be expensive though. You're the sort of person who invented the phrase "It's the thought that counts." and the sound of "I've got something for you..." makse your heart race with excitement.

To give love in this language you needn't to be rich. Though you do need to be considerate and that can be challenging. She doesn't need a diamond ring to feel loved (though it will help) but she loves the idea that you have been thoughtful. A hand picked flower or a little love letter will make your partner all warm and fuzzy inside.

Strong relationships are built when couples learn to tune into one another.
Strong relationships are built when couples learn to tune into one another.

If you take anything away from here today, then take this...

The key to developing strong bonds in any relationship is the ability to tune in and listen.

Which Love Language do you speak?

See results

Dedicated to the old dears...

I was driving home recently after a particularly long day - I was tired and grumpy and bored of the long drive.

As I approached another set of traffic lights I stumbled upon one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. An elderly couple in the car next to mine were deep in conversation about goodness knows what but their body language told me more than words ever could.

Both of his hands were still firmly wrapped around the steering wheel, obviously with intentions of getting his precious cargo home safely. She had twisted around in her seat to face him, was leaning forward was hanging on to his every word.

Both wore smiles that spread from ear to ear - they were clearly discussing something very dear to them. I cannot find the words to describe the look in her eyes as she listened his voice.

I was instantly reminded of Dr Gary Chapman's five star book called Five Languages of Love: The Secrets to Love That Lasts on which this hub has been based. This couple obviously understood each other's language, perhaps even shared it. In a world were half of all marriages (in the western world) end in divorce and millions of children are growing up in single parents families, the sight of this couple warmed my heart - it was infectious.

If you are interested in learning more about the languages of love you will find that Dr Chapman has written many books on the topic including Love Languages for Children and For Singles in addition to Secrets to Love That Lasts.They are very easy to come by due to their popularity.

It is my warmest wish that you glean some information from these words here today that will change the way you love.

Has this been helpful?

Don't forget to vote if you have found this information useful, awesome, funny or beautiful.

Why not take part in our poll? We want to know which love language is the most common so take a moment and cast your vote now.


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    • Magic777eternity profile image


      7 years ago from School of Dreams

      I loved this, thank you. I'm a mix of all of these, I think.. And I'm told I'm a bit too much at times.. hehehe.. Thanks a million, I really enjoyed reading this, its very useful and beautifully written!!

    • McGilwriter profile image


      7 years ago from Florida

      Awesome hub! My wife is an acts of service person, and I hate doing chores, LOL! I'm a physical touch and verbal confirmation person.

    • imsonice profile image


      7 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Great hub.

    • Leptirela profile image


      7 years ago from I don't know half the time

      Awesome hub :)


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