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Lasting Marriage

Updated on October 18, 2017

Sweet As A Rose

I think back on my life and after 42 years of marriage, then I wonder how we survived three kids, two grandchildren, and a multitude of relatives, and crisis. Sometimes you think you are living in a dysfunctional family, and then you realize it is only life. I waited a few years, before I was about to declare myself an old maid, and had a few dates and relationships that had not met my expectations. Then at 28 years of age along comes the man of my life. He was also 28 years old and both of us were thought to be not the marrying kind. We both started up a conversation with each other, and in about 6 months of being friends, then we moved on to a more permanent relationship. I have to say that I was a bit jealous at first, because I thought he was trying to take my job from me, but he was just doing his thing as an artist, and it just so happened that I was also an art teacher at the time. I remember the day he gave me a gift just before Christmas Holidays, and when school would be out for vacation. He gave me a bottle of Channel #5 perfume and left the price on it. I realized he was trying to tell me something then.
For two weeks I did not see him, and he went home to see his family for the holidays. So I was feeling like lost by then.

The first thing he wanted to do was take me home to meet his family for the weekend. I thought to myself do I go and meet the family? Of course, I got to meet his mom and dad, and then his grandparents. Low and behold his grandfather embarrassed him by singing to me with his guitar "Beautiful Blue Eyes", and when he finished it on his guitar, then he told me that was from his grandson to me. Talk about new friend was feeling a bit out on a limb. By the time we got back home from our trip, then the first thing he said to me was for me not to get any ideas about us. I figured now that you have done it. You blew your chances for this guy caring about you at all. I thought he sincerely was into liking me, but at that moment I felt that it was not happening.

I went about my business of being myself once more, and I decided to just be the best teacher of art I could be. Then, I got this call about going out on a date with the guy. He took me out to a restaurant and attempted to show me a good time by buying me an expensive steak dinner. I tried to eat the steak, but it was bloody raw, and I do not eat stuff that looks uncooked. He was so upset that all he could do was apologize to me. I explained that it was all right but in his mind it was a disaster. I do not know how we got past that point, but we did and the relationship progressed in this manner. We dated one month, got engaged the next, and married in the third month.

My husband was the kind of guy that wrote love poems to me on special occasions and always treasured me. We raised three kids together and did our best to help out with our grandchildren but crisis after crisis hit us, and we had to face them and wonder how our marriage would survive all the rough times. If it was not financial disasters, then it was medical.

I also had to raise a troubled child, to begin with as we adopted an 8-year-old, and then when he was 14 our daughter came along. Then to top all of it off along comes our youngest son. So life was difficult but manageable for us.

When I ask myself why did we survive all the things we have, then I realized what it was we had together. We had a marriage built on faith and trust, and being able to roll with the punches that were thrown at us during our 42 years of marriage. I look back to the day my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 1990, then I wondered how we were going to deal with it. We did not know after they operated for two weeks that is was not malignant. I am thankful for the surgeons that saved my husband. Sure it caused a lot more medical care, but we made it. I had to think about my faith on many days, when I had to take care of my two little ones by myself. I asked myself why we were able to endure all these things. I think the meaning is what you call real love. Love that keeps on ticking like a watch, and never stops.

I am looking forward to sharing my 43rd wedding anniversary with my husband. For we still must use our faith to keep us going day after day, when all things affect our lives. The greatest thing we faced was losing our oldest 40-year-old son to a train accident and facing the fact that we would never see him again. The only thing that gives us comfort is that fact that our son was not afraid of death, and I think maybe he saw the things we lived by and finally realized what it was in his life that really was important. Love rubs off on those you most care about in your life. I wish for everyone to find that person that completes them and makes them a soul mate for life. Become good friends first, then you can see the true person inside.


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