Detachment:Laughter through pain

It’s easy to get caught up in ‘drama’ and feel sorry for one’s self when so much of what we are dealing with or going through is or seems more than we can bear. Thus, it helps to have a sense of humor. So many of my friends ask me how I can make jokes or poke fun of myself when I have or am going through whatever trial I happen to be undergoing or have underwent. I guess because I worry that I may become too wrapped up in the seriousness of the situation that I will start to unravel and feel sorry for myself. Laughing or finding humor in whatever situation or event that is taking place or has taken place seems a much better alternative than crying or becoming angry.

I am what they deem a ‘highly sensitive person,’ so I tend to take everything to heart, and very personal. Recognizing I am highly sensitive has always made me feel I was not only ‘different’ but it left me feeling very much as though I did not or do not ‘belong;’ which quite often left me feeling sad, depressed, and very much alone. Knowing I was not like everyone else was hard enough, not ‘fitting in’ only complicated matters further, so I found that poking fun at myself and or my situation made it easier for me to cope and endure certain aspects or events in my life that seemed intolerable.

I believe many would define this as a form of ‘detachment,’ and I guess in some ways it is, but mostly, it is my way of not taking it, myself, or life, too seriously. For being highly sensitive, I tend to take things to heart and take things literally, which when dealing with unpleasantries, drama, or trials, is extremely difficult. I was made fun of for many years, but when I began making fun of myself, something I was quite good at, I found it made it more difficult for others to make fun of me, especially if my jokes, remarks, and comments, were more funny than those making fun of me were.

I have always been a person that loves people and loves life and loves to laugh, so when I am going through something that is not a laughing matter, but I make jokes anyway, many look at me very strangely. I realize to some this may seem disturbing, but I worry that should I fall apart or become emotional, the people around me would no longer be around me or tolerate me. After all, who wants to be around someone that is always crying or feeling sorry for themselves? I am or try anyway, to always see the good in people and in any situation, how I do that is by finding the humor in it.

The hardest part about being me, is that there is never a shortage of joke material, so keeping up with others is not or has not always been easy, but it does make life interesting; because I am often busy coming up with ways to make fun of myself I don’t dwell or become bogged down with whatever it is that I am going through. Thus, I spend more time laughing at heartaches and misfortune than I do or would, as opposed to crying and wallowing in self-pity, which neither helps nor changes anything.

That doesn’t mean I have not done my fair share of crying, I’m highly sensitive, remember? I just save the tears for when I am on my knees, praying for the strength to endure whatever it is that I may be going through. In addition, I am blessed with a select group of friends and family that know and recognize just how sensitive I am, so when I need a good cry or need to talk and or fall apart, they are there for me. They remind me I don’t always have to be the ‘life of the party,’ or that I don’t always have to be the ‘clown,’ and that there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable once in awhile.

For unfortunately for the ‘highly sensitive person,’ detachment and the ability to detach can be very detrimental, not only for me, but also for those that are seeking to know and understand me. Thankfully, I always have them to lean on for love and support, and most importantly, they accept and embrace me just as I am, and for whom I am, even when I cannot or am unable to find the humor in whatever it is I happen to be going through at the time. Fortunately, for me, and for them, these moments are few and far in between, because eventually I am able to find the humorous side of any given situation and make light of whatever it is.

I love to live, live to love, and I love to laugh. I may, to some, be a ‘punch line,’ and or a running joke, and that is just fine for me, because I can laugh at myself, which means I spend a great deal of my life laughing. They say in life you are either an Eeyore or a Tigger, Eeyore is depressed and sad and says, ‘thanks for noticing me.’ Whereas, Tigger always seem to bounce back and is always happy, and proudly proclaims, “the most wonderful thing about Tigger, is that I’m the only one.” Well, I guess there’s no mystery as to which I am-and there is only one of me.