ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Lesbian Hate: The Backlash for Not Needing Men

Updated on May 17, 2016
social thoughts profile image

I have a B.A. in English with a minor in Gender and Sexuality Studies. I've been a Goth since age fourteen, and a Pagan since age fifteen.

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net | Source

When you live in a heteronormative society, like ours, it's easy to become so comfortable that you can no longer recognize how programmed it all is. Anything other than a gender binary mindset confuses us more than the restraints in which we've become so accustomed. Heteronormativity is the accepted belief that society should run on the binary terms of masculine and feminine. For example, in marriage, the husband (masculine) is assumed to be the breadwinner and the wife (feminine) is supposed to be the caregiver. Deviation from this would be a crime within the gendered binary.

Of course, since it is no longer the 50s, we now understand how crazy it would be if we still forced our society to live by these strict rules. On the other hand, most of us still follow these social rules, unknowingly preventing ourselves from experiencing freedom of expression. Meanwhile, if we know this programmed lifestyle serves no purpose, and in fact hinder our lives, why is it so difficult to comprehend living outside of something so similar to this social construct?

With the heteronormative comes patriarchy. Patriarchy is a society in which the masculine rules everything. While I am not suggesting we have a matriarchy, I would recommend a healthy balance. After all, to prove one's masculinity, men have to conquer men and women, and peace cannot grow in an environment like that. Even mainstream religion worships patriarchy with "God, the father" and "Jesus." The character of Mary, the mother of Jesus, takes second place. Lesbians are viewed as a threat because, like heterosexual men, they date women; therefore, they are see as competition and are discriminated against as punishment. The media mocks angry lesbians who fight this injustice as a way to marginalize the real issue taking place.

What is Your Sexual Orientation?

See results

Lesbian Stereotypes Debunked

In this article, I would like to discuss common lesbian stereotypes and debunk them.

"Lesbians Are Angry Women"

Like any oppressed group who isn't being heard or validated, they fight back until they achieve equality—which frequently turns them into even more of a target. Their enemies will use this reaction to their advantage. To successfully defeat the group they're oppressing, they take no responsibility for their destructive actions, but rather place the blame on the targeted group. This "angry lesbian" concept was created to make them appear less sympathetic, so the public will not listen to their intention for equality. The fault is placed with the lesbians for being "unstable" and "angry" while in reality, these lesbians are simply as passionate and human as any other oppressed category of people.

"Lesbians Hate Men"

Many lesbians have several heterosexual male friends. After all, they both like women; therefore, how can they hate someone who may share the same sexual orientation? Heterosexuals wouldn't say the reason they're heterosexual is because they hate people of their own sex. They just aren't attracted to them, sexually or romantically. There is a difference between being biased towards a group verses having a sexual orientation.

"Lesbians Just Haven't Found The Right Man"

Most lesbians dated boys when they were younger, which just ended up confirming their lack of heterosexuality. That attraction isn't there, and it never will be. Those who believe it's true that a lesbian just needs to find the right men should ask themselves how they would feel if they were told they need to date the same sex to be sure they aren't homosexual, themselves! Hell, that frequent assumption, that dating or sleeping with a certain sex will automatically determine if one is gay or straight, should just be applied to every self-assured heterosexual who thinks lesbians just haven't tried dating the opposite sex.

"Lesbians are Promiscuous"

There is the common "U-Haul" joke within the community. In reality, many lesbians actually become emotionally attached to their dates early on. This makes it hard for lesbians to have meaningless sex with other women. This common occurrence of desired monogamy debunks this ridiculous claim about promiscuity. Of course, like any sexual orientation, each person is unique and experiences sex and romance differently; therefore, there is no true stereotype. This is just as ridiculous as the belief that all heterosexuals want to get married and have kids. It just isn't true.

Image courtesy of Simon Howden at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Simon Howden at FreeDigitalPhotos.net | Source

Out and Proud Celebrities

Famous lesbians did not start coming out of the closet until after notable people such as Ellen DeGeneres made it okay. It's important that famous LGBT members come out because it helps to socially normalize being gay. More awareness is needed to end discrimination and these famous lesbians have helped other lesbians, famous or not, come out.

Let's take this argument against "not needing a man" one step further. Regardless of one's sexual orientation, no one should feel they "need" a partner. People should never measure their lives according to their relationship status—no matter how many people choose to. This life is ours, alone. Let's remember that. So, if you're a heterosexual woman or a gay man, I hope you never feel pressured to "need" a man to feel your life is fulfilled. I hope your life's value is being measured by how you attempt to improve the world around you instead of by whether or not you will be in love with someone who loves you back when you die.

© 2014 social thoughts

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)