- Gender and Relationships»
Life And My Absent Husband
My twin sister, Raine insisted on going with me. She said I could probably use a friend after taking David to check into jail. It sounds so like a trip. Just check in at the front desk. It has been a trip but not a real fun one. Enlightening yes, fun not. I am so grateful Raine was with me. Although I was numb and can be hard headed 'a friend in need, is a friend indeed.' I am eternally grateful for her love and support. She so loves the LORD God and has so Blessed my life.
It seems like yesterday in many ways. Time does go all to fast. I do not believe David thinks that where he sits today. Then there are times for me it seems like ages ago. I think because this has been a very long road to a new chapter. It seems like I am not married any longer but I am. David is certain of it. I wonder. Legally yes and in Gods eyes yes. I did take a vow for richer or poorer for better or worse, 15 years ago. David has been gone 3.2 months and will be out in early November.
We all have trials, temptations and struggles to walk in this life. We do not know what may come on the path for us. God will sometimes ask us to do difficult things that seem impossible in the WORLD. On the path God always has a Blessing in store for those that are obedient and Love Him. He tells us we will have difficult times. Romans 8:28 Many times we suffer heartache because we make a bad choice. Maybe we were victims or did nothing when we needed to do something,. Maybe we just got in over our heads because we did not use our heads and talk it over with the Lord. The good news is this, God is the Redeemer. He knew we would make errors that is why he came for us and suffered the Cross. So we could be forgiven. When we take a step of Faith to Salvation we are covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. He will go after HIS 'Lambs'. He is the Good Sheppard.
The Father does test and discipline us. A Fathers love would not be so if He enabled us to stay where we were at. Sometimes we have to look in the mirror. His Grace has carried me and rescued me when I know it was HIM and only by HIM that the ship was saved. Love is like that. I am sure that I have no idea how many times Jesus took the oars to spare me pain. He really is an amazing Father and amazing Grace and amazing love.
There are seasons in life. When a storm comes it may take time for the rainbow to appear but it will come. God did not remove the rainbow and he will steer the boat, if we ask. There is an enemy in this 'WORLD'. If you think not then please open the blinds. I do not like to give Satan any PR. He has plenty and is doomed to HELL and knows his time is running short. He comes to rob us. steal from us, deceive and kill us. He is ramped. Many are lost. It is sad. Many little children grow in homes that never speak of GOD. How would they know who to trust other then man.
When I took marriage vows little did I know my husband would go to jail for DUI number two. I married a sober and clean, God fearing man. I did not check that box if in jail what will I do. I never imagined 'us' being separated by bars. We are in our fifty's, who would have thought. Not I. The wages of sin is death. I thank God as does David no one was injured or killed on the road. We have been 'separate' in many ways for several years. Physically David was removed by God for work, the treatment center then jail for a total of 17 months. God shielded me from the perils of the enemy. He covered David in His Grace and Mercy. There is a plan for David and my prayer and hope is Davids eyes have been opened to the Light of Jesus Christ. GOD is the glue that held us together. I know God is for marriage, HE is the designer. I believe I will remain married but I am not looking forward to the reunion. I feel like a Moses who was told to go to Pharaoh and say 'Let my people GO' or the woman with the child that died and she ran to Elijah and asked why did GOD give me a child to have him die. Elijah lay on the child and GOD worked through him to bring life back to the little boy. It may be difficult but It comes down to a choice. Am I going to continue to trust in the most HIGH God or listen to lies from the enemy. I asked God to work on Davids heart. God is faithful to hear our prayers. I have no idea what GOD has in store for David. He will walk out of jail empty handed but with a change of heart. I get overwhelmed when I think of David coming home. The hard times crop into my brain. I want to trust my husband. I want a sober relationship. I will keep standing on scripture. God will give me all I need. He is the Master. If I have to keep laying it at the feet of Jesus, I will do it. I am not alone. My feelings will change. I am standing on the ROCK.
I met David in the rooms of AA at a Christmas Fund raiser. I had a date and he bailed out on me. My twin sister went with me. I told her she had to go with me. I could not bear to go alone. As it turns out she had a wonderful time dancing and celebrating the season. I saw him sitting there watching the dancers. I looked again. I sat by him. I loved his voice. He talked slow and deliberate. His voice was warm and captivating. He asked me what it was like being a twin. I laughed and asked him, 'what it was like not being a twin?' Later he told me he could have kicked himself for asking such a question. I laughed because many ask the question. I usually did not come back with that answer. We danced and laughed at our steps. There was a raffle for the cause of the homeless. I had donated a free haircut and style and when David walked up to to redeem his winning ticket, I about fell over. He had my number.
The people in the AA rooms listened to him intently. I do not know if it was the tone of his low voice or his story or both but they seemed captivated by his demeanor and personality. He was a warm man. I would look at him and think my this guy has potential. I could see that he had many gifts unwrapped inside of him to give and share with others. This man could have so much. He is smart and a leader. He has compassion and a tender heart. He has a humor that makes one think, is he kidding or not. Many clung to his words on how he managed to stay sober. He spoke of God, allot. I loved that about David. He was a Godly man. He was a natural speaker ebb and flow. The newcomers gravitated to him. David had messed with alcohol for years and was in and out of the program. I asked him what was different about this time he said, 'I want sobriety' David was simple, not complex. He was not drama by any long shot. He grew on me. Once he started sharing in the rooms he went into deep neighborhoods of emotions. He really was is a magical speaker. He mesmerized the audience. He was truly given a gift.
We were friends for a long time. I had a 4 year old daughter and just got out of an abusive relationship and marriage. My twin use to tell me this is all you need to do, start dating. She had just got out of a cheating marriage and we were now roommates. We each had a 4 year old only 2 months apart. I have the girls and Raine has the Boys. Our lives are so uncanny in so many ways.
I liked Davids sound mind and honesty. David was a natural with kids. He so wanted them but his long time love bailed on him and it never came to pass. My little girl gave him a hard time. She thought he was going to steal me away from her. He was so patient with my baby girl and her cousin it was quite magical.
Falling In Love
We just fell for each other. I was so grateful to have a sober man by my side that depended on GOD. We started going to Bible studies together and he was Born Again into the kingdom of God. The Holy Spirit moved on our lives and we were on fire for the Lord. It was an amazing time with the Lord. Those that pray together stay together. We grew in the Lord and were Blessed beyond measure. God is so amazing. He has my heart and he has Davids heart. I know he is amazing Love. I have nothing to fear but fear itself.
David landed an apprenticeship as a plumber. Today he is a Master Plumber. He moved fast and was very good at the trade. Many thought he was genius at it. He climbed the ranks in the commercial field. He made lead man in a very short time and up to supervisor of very large commercial jobs. He had the truck, the insurance, the vacations, the big pay check. We were so Blessed.
The majority of our AA friends around 200 were at our park wedding. Everyone brought food there was no alcohol and we danced. It was great. We loved the Lord and were very much in love. My twin sister was honored to have David as a bro in law. In a few short months I had her DAVID calling her. A gentlemen walked in and I cut his hair. I knew this guy was for my sister. One year later we are at a park, celebrating her wedding to her David.
We got a house, I built a clientèle in the city. David worked hard. We got new cars. We had debt and got a little over our heads not handling our Blessings. I got a bit crazed with the cards. I put us in the hole. David could not dig us out. We filed BK. We surrendered our new vehicles. It was GOD awful but HE did not make it that way. We both contributed me with cards and David with trucks. He was always adding new stuff to trucks or trading his in for a bigger or better. Oh what a life. It was good. God Blessed us. We were involved in missions and went to an awesome church. God helped us pull our life's back together. When everything was gone it was like what did stuff get us. Not much but trouble. God is first place and if there is something before him he will more then likely shake up his kids to show and discipline. Matthew 6:30 'Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD and all these other things shall be added unto you' God is not up there with a stick. He is soft and gentle and loves His creation. His Grace and perfect timing got us into another home to rent. Our house sold in one week and GOD Blessed us with funds to start anew and fresh. The home just slid under the wire in foreclosing. GOD pulled us through the muddy mire and we were so very grateful and humbled. We knew because HIS love is so great he gave us favor, not because we deserved or earned brownie points God is no respecter of people he takes care of His own. He know what He does.
The first time I smelled alcohol I thought, 'no this could not be'. I confronted David. He said he found it in a box while moving. He just took a drink but it was over, no more. The next thing I know in a matter of days I am trying to take the keys from David. I could not get them. He got DUI number one. He was devastated. I was devastated. He swore it off. He went to meetings. He lost his license and it cost a fortune. He had all these classes and meetings and fines. He lost his job. NO wheels in plumbing is not a good thing. He got another job. I drove him around. I I was frightened. I was so desperate to walk with Christ. I was humbled and hurting. I knew Christ was the only way. I dove into the Word. I had made some hard errors and I wanted Gods will in my life to be done. I was a surrender child. I prayed and held the hand of Jesus. I felt like Christ was going to take me new places. David got his license back.
Things did not go back to 'normal' David got a job but something was a miss with him. He seemed absent from everything. There was not much I could do. I prayed for him. I sensed he was drinking. He denied. He got pills from the Doctor. I was like a yo yo of emotions. I was so anxious he was going to loose another job. That is when GOD spoke to me. He said, 'when are you going to trust me child?' I knew my dependence was on the Lord not on Davids paycheck. God was preparing me. He is the potter we are the clay. David got another job in the mountains. He would be gone during the week. I was so grateful, I was on fire for the Word and was writing for Christ. I gave the Holy Spirit the reigns. I knew my lot in life was to share the good news of salvation and help others. GOD put many on my path to encourage and I was encouraged
I knew inside it was only a matter of time and David may loose another job or worse. The drinking and denial escalated. He lost the mountain job after 9 months.They smelled alcohol. In a few months time and jobless David got DUI number two. If he had not gone to the In house treatment at Salvation Army I think I would have taken his place. (J K, not) I was beside myself. The devil was tearing at the door. I stood on the word of GOD. Alcohol will come in and wipe out a family in no time. It will lie to you and tell you one drink will be OK. It is the first that gets you drunk. Davids drink lasted a long time, around 4 years. I was so relieved he was gone. I saw him some on weekends and a few hours during the week. God Blessed me and took care and provided. He has the most amazing delivery system.
David had his first hearing. The Judge told David to come back for sentencing after he completed 6 months at the Salvation Army. The court date came. But for the grace of GOD the HOLY Spirit moved on the heart of the judge. We could feel the presence of GOD in the court room. David could have got the book, easily up to 3 years for another DUI. David was sentenced to one year in the county jail. The judge said only two other times in his career had he done what he was about to do. He shortened Davids jail term. He took off 6 months for the Salvation Army and 3 months for good behavior and dropped the fine by a huge amount. David would be done when he left jail. NO probation, no mandatory tests, no auditory meetings. Because God loves so much, he moved for David.He touched the heart of the Judge. The last thing the judge said was, 'this is a choice you make to drink or not to drink, you know what damage it does, so are you clear on your choice. I better not see you in my courtroom again for alcohol charges' It was like GOD was speaking to David.
The Officer came out and in a very loud voice called out for David. We were the only one's in the room just feet away. I suppose the officer had his protocol to live up to. He told David to turn around and face the door. Our eyes met as he handcuffed David. David had tears. I was numb. I stood to give a hug and the officer shook his head, a big No. Away went my husband. Just like in the court room dramas on TV.
Phone cards via jail are very expensive so we talk briefly a couple of times per week for only a few minutes. I have visited David on 4 occasions for 30 minutes. I think what I do not want is to be around him. I am coasting and I have no desire to go there. I know but for the grace of God it could be me on the other side. I drank and drove many years ago and I am so very thankful I hurt no one. It is because of GODS mercy and infallible love I was spared that devestation.
My precious daughter and I took her new baby to meet Grandpa. Davids heart and eyes were leaping in joy. He had tears. The baby girl he raised now has a beautiful baby boy and family to care for. Gods timing is truly amazing. David is now sober and clean and he has a new grandbaby, the first one. I pray David embaces this most wonderful opputuntiy to be an awesome grandpa. He will surely loose that if he takes a drink. My baby girl will not have it so In the name of Jesus I pray David gets it Lord because he would be tossing his time as grandpa away. That would be a huge heartache. I pray he takes his authority and drives the devil gone. It is his choice. It is going to take me time to trust. I feel sad when I think of it but it is true.
SO David is literally removed. He is the absent husband. I have no one to look at but me. I am excited and look forward to what GOD has in store for me. Some lessons are tuff but in them are His Blessings. I spent a week tearing though closets and cleaning, rearranging. It is like I wanted that part of my life gone. Past tense, history. I pick up a few new items like bedspreads lamps and rugs. It was like I was getting ready for the new. I painted. I cleaned carpets. I dove into Gods arms and know him more. The more I know him the more I love him the more I want to know him. God has revealed much to me. I am so grateful for His wondrous love. He will not leave my side when David comes home. In fact I could be totally in for a miraculous rebirth in our marriage. I feel it will take a miracle and God is not short on those. With God all things are possible.
Life goes so fast, There is no time to mess around. I have been Blessed beyond measure. I never imagined it would be this sweet and awesome to be a 'Nana' I am amazed and eternally grateful and honored. I have been given so much joy. A joy no one can take unless I hand it over. Thank You Lord. I can read Noah's Ark to Jayce one day (God Willing) and speak like the animals. This is truly a new chapter with a beautiful Blessed future. I am a step closer to Heaven. After all this, I have Paradise to look forward to one day. Children of God Paradise awaits us. Praise God.
I do not know how the money comes in time, on time and even early. My income does not quite cut the mustard but Gods knows and he provides a suprise check from insurance or or the likes will come to me. It is like I have been on surf mode and the love of Jesus Christ. A roller coaster of emotions I tossed to the wind. I could what if, myself to illness. What if I get on a roller coaster again? These thoughts will come to me and tap me on the shoulder. It is the Enemy. I took my Scented Blessed Oil a couple of days ago and began making cross's on the door's in the Name above all names, Jesus Christ. The enemy is not coming in. Jesus took him on he is already defeated for us. We have authority over the Devil. God gave it to His children and the enemy has to flee and shakes at the name of JESUS. Because Christ loves us and strengthens us we can do all things through Him. (Philippians) Praise God.
I forgive David. I can choose to forgive and believe or choose to be bitter and belittled. My friend tells me that we have the power to choose our own thoughts. Yes. we do my precious friend matt6v30. Gods words stick with me like glue. God uses others to touch and help us. We have power to choose this day who we will live for and what we will stand on. So my beloved friends, brothers and sisters I have worked on this hub for a couple of days. The Holy Spirit led me to share this story and my my prayer is, if there is something that can inspire you please let it do so and know the Holy Spirit is working though our stories to touch your heart or mind. All Glory to God. I am sure more will be revealed to me.
David knows I write and he encourages me to share. He says, 'if one can be spared grief or pain because of my poor choices then may God touch them where they need touching. Please take what you would like from the story and pass it along if you so desire.'
I ask you to please toss a prayer for David and I. I do not underestimate Gods power. He is so good. I kinda feel like a mail order bride. What can I expect? I can see GOD smiling, How does a mail order bride feel ? OK Lord, I stand on your Word and not how I feel. 'Trust me my child. I AM the Father, be anxious for nothing'.
Be encouraged in your trials. A new dawn will come in the morning. I am so grateful you stopped in for a read and a hub of love. You are loved by an awesome God. I pray you are Blessed in amazing ways. No matter if you have gone down the scale IAM will come for you. If you are a Child of God, He will never leave nor forsake you. This I know because the Bible tells me so.
Prayer of Salvation, John 3:16. FOR God so loved the World that He sent His only Begotten Son Jesus, to die for us so we could have eternal life. Make the choice if you have not, for Jesus. Your life will change. A Child of God you will be.
copyright Skye Tudae