Gender Perspectives in Our Society
Dear Readers, this is about the experience a lot of us might have faced and be facing even now. Where the human race is achieving new heights on different fronts, a lot of our beliefs are still the same, conserved and orthodox. This may be a very controversial topic as all of us have different mind sets and thereby thoughts and beliefs.
To start with, our lives and thoughts are based on our parents and later on all we have acquired from the world around us. During my childhood I was a shy and introvert person. I hardly talk to someone in my class except a handful of friends, often boys. Unless required I never spoke to girls as a lot of our, sorry to say but, teachers were have very narrow-minded view about it. As I grew older and started my college it was entirely different. It may be because I went away from my family just for the sake of better education. However all I experienced over there was life changing. Lecturers were and friendly. Open-minded as in, had a better understanding and beliefs about relations, especially boy-girl relation. As I said earlier I had totally different scenario, I had interacted with each-n-every person, including shy & introvert boys as well as girls. I even observed that few of the boys who used interact with girls had very odd tone and topics. Sometimes even I felt awkward just because of the kind of language used. I often tried to change the topic or ask those boys to slow down. On the other hand a few boys were so fluent with their language that even while talking about odd topics, girls never felt awkward and neither did I. Amazing Ain’t It?? These kinds of experiences have come across at different stage of my life. Later on I tried to observe the pattern, especially my behavioral pattern in such different scenarios and found that my thoughts were getting affected and was becoming frequent even while being in comfortable situation. However I was lucky enough that I was able to control my thinking process and before reacting I thought twice. This helped me analyze that a lot of people, who are not able to control their thoughts tend to drown on the dark side of their thoughts. Later on such thoughts reflect in their behavior and thereby in their kids’ behavior as well. Again I was lucky as I had a healthy environment during my childhood, the reason I was shy and introvert might be because I have an elder brother and no own sister or something as such. And my parents always taught me to think before speaking and acting or reacting. Unfortunately lot of us may not have got such nurturing. Hence whenever we see a couple unmarried we think of only one thing. Awkward, Weird, Terrible?? Yes it is. Reason derived for such thinking and behavior is stress created due to busy and hectic life. As we find such things awful and unnecessary to think about. Now think, how are we different than any animal?? open-minded
Is it just about boys? Think again. In my country there is a saying, ‘You can’t clap with one hand.’ Can you imagine why have I used this proverb?? It is obvious ain’t it? Where boys have weird language or narrow-minded views, girls also have a few characteristics. According to my observation boys will not be able to speak foul language to girls if they allow them to. Mark me if I am wrong girls and ladies. While talking to someone, you do evaluate the person, consciously or otherwise and draw the limits, which are not same for all of them. You give different rights to different people, which depends upon your perception and beliefs about conditions like in school, during college, while at office, in a family function and with your loved ones. You even select different attires for different occasions. However few are not given such understanding, may be because of their parents are too busy earning money-may be for them- or involved in activities such that they forget providing such knowledge. In few countries, such discussion is seen as something awkward to discuss about where it is actually very important. As such understanding develops the personality of their child. Moreover after growing-up we don’t think about such think unless it is mandatory or of interest. These things, eventually develops a child into an extremist on either side, too much ignorant or too much careful. Ignorant girls don’t care about boundaries or limits and let others interfere in their lives which creates problem. People take them for granted and cross their own limits as well. This in turn harms, not only two of them but also others who are related to them. Such incident of occurred one or twice is considered as a mistake but frequently or often is your habit. The time you become conscious about it, if find yourself fooling your own self and no other. These is not only about the behavior but your attire as well, the first thing a person notices about the other is dressing and grooming, let the other person be a boy or a girl. Being trendy is not a crime but exposing is simply foolishness, especially when you can analyze the person you are going to meet may not have a healthy perception about fashion. I always believe in improving things which are in my control and not trying to change something I cannot, which in this case it will be the thinking, beliefs or perception of others. Think again, your beauty is something to care about and nurture for your own good not to encash or show off. Leave it for Silver Screen Celebrities. Again make sure I will never criticize a good trendy outfit and make-up which is in accordance with the occasion but will always look-down at ones who are overly dressed or simply trying to show off to attract the crowd and become center of attraction.
I have tried to justify the reasons of behavioral patterns derived for boys as well as girls. Just like girls, boys also need to draw boundaries promising they won’t cross it there by maintaining the dignity and pride of girls, as in the society every girl is a sister to someone and same ways every boy has a sister who will not like and often not tolerate such awful and disturbing act. Every person, having perception like mine, will think the future generation will grow with a better view to relationships where I suggest their views are gifts from you. So evolve yourself and start making effort evolving views of your children and others as I believe efforts are always reciprocated. So in hope of better tomorrow you, me and everyone has to start acting from today, infact starting right now. Have promising, evolved and mature view about relationships, as a boy and a girl walking and talking on the sideways need not necessarily have only one thing to discuss. The girl may not be always wrong and vice-versa. If their act makes you worried even though they are adult, ask them. I am sure they will have a good reason. For girls, as elaborated earlier you are most vulnerable. So think twice before you start dressing or even talking to some person, let it be a boy or a girl or elders. Define boundaries prior to any kind of communication and be clear about it. I am 100% sure it will be reflected in your body language and others will respect it. If someone says ‘You look beautiful.’ Need not always mean he you or such nonsense. Make sure you don’t get carried away. And for boys, if some girl approaches you, make sure you have appropriate reasons along with the understanding of both of your limitations. Cause in our society people can easily talk down about any girl and if you are with that girl you will be talked down about as well. So atleast have appropriate reasons for yourself if such thing occur. loves
This article is based on life experiences, observation and analysis of real world scenarios. It may be possible lot of you may have an open view about such things and I might be proven wrong about the society. In such case I will be ‘The World’s Happiest Person’ even though being wrong. As I will come to know that even during such critical times we, the people, have actually retained our status as Human Beings-The Most Intelligent Creatures on Earth.
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This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2012 NISARG MEHTA