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Life with a Veteran. A wife's story.
Hi, I am married to a wonderful man who went to war to protect me and you, our families, friends and love ones from our enemies. My husband fought on the front lines; He was a gunman in the US Army in a Bradley Fighting Vehicle. He tells stories of how he and his buddies fought in that hot vehicle for hours, day in day out and with every shot of the gun killing another human being. He can tell you stories of watching people dying right in front of him. He was there defending his country. He served as the best as he could. Was separated at times form his family. Served in Germany, and also in different places in the US.
We are all grateful for what he and other men and woman have done for us and our county, we give them praise; honor them in several ways expressing our gratitude. But then we have those who protest war and in some way I too protest the fighting and killing but I know my safety comes from men and woman who have fought in the war, some have come home and some have died defending us. But have ever wondered what their life truly was like when they got home? Let me tell you a story. This is a story of the life for a Vet and his wife. This is my life.
I met my husband 12 years ago. He was out of the war by then, divorced and holding down a job while going to school. Our courtship was short. We both were adults and did not want to play the dating game; we both knew what we wanted in another person. We both matched those wishes so we got married.
As I said he is a wonderful man, but while fighting the fight for our protection he brings home a fight that still ragging in him today. While we live in peace he is living in a war zone. My husband suffers from PTSD (Post Trauma Syndrome Disorder) and depression. He goes to war with a sound mind comes home with a hurting mind. I can not understand what goes on in his head I have tried to understand but I can’t.
My husband is on allot of medicine to help his anger, his drinking, and from thoughts of suicide or killing someone during his time when the PTSD and depression hits hard. He doesn’t live constantly with the war that rages in his head he does have good days. My husband is a silent thinker, and holds everything in. But as his wife I can tell when he starts to spiral down into another time of depression. For a wife of a veteran it is not an easy life.
For a wife of a veteran that is battling PTSD and depression finds herself living in her home alone. Oh he is around but she is pushed out and away from the man she loves. There is nothing she can do to draw her self closer to him. As he isolates him self from the world she gets isolated with the world.
Because you the wife are the closest thing to him you get all the anger placed on you. In your anger and hurt you have thoughts of leaving because you don’t know if you can do this again. You even find out that he has had thoughts of leaving. Not that the marriage is bad for either of you, but it’s that unstable mind in him that just wants to run. Not fair? No it’s not but because of the love you have for him you hold on for the day break yet to come; it has gota come around the next corner and then when it comes, life will be good again until next time.