Little Things Matter in a Fizzled-Out Marriage
Has your marriage fizzled out? Have years of life changes—children, jobs, family, church—made you callous and cold towards your spouse? These things can happen without you even realizing it. It does not happen overnight, though.
One of the first things that usually goes out the window after a few years of marriage is the desire to keep doing all the little things that you once loved to do for your spouse. When the honeymoon wears off, children enter the picture, and job situations change, you might suddenly find yourself so wrapped up in life that you don’t have a life anymore.
The biggest sign of a failing marriage is constant bickering and arguing. You find yourself growing angry at your spouse because of something they didn’t do that they should have. You become so consumed with anger and regret that you start pointing out all the flaws in your spouse.
This does not have to happen. And if you find yourself in this very position right now, I’m here to tell you that there is something you can do to change it. You have the choice—right now, in this very moment—to make positive changes in your marriage or let it fall to the wayside of divorce.
The easiest step you can take to rekindling that first love between you and your spouse is remembering all the little things about him/her that made you fall in love with him/her in the first place.
Maybe it was a smile, a look, a laugh that gave you that first tingle. Find some alone time to sit and think back to those first days of dating. Remember what it was that attracted you to your spouse and fall in love.
Perhaps one of the main reasons why so many marriages fail is that neither person is willing to admit that they have given up. Or worse yet, neither want to give an inch to work on making the marriage better.
Regardless of whether or not your spouse seems interested in your marriage anymore, it is your responsibility to take action. When you see wildflowers in a field and think of her, stop and pick them for her (if it’s legal where you live). When you read a humorous card that makes you laugh and think of him, buy it and write him a loving note inside.
There are so many little things you once did to please your spouse before marriage, and make him/her happy. Why did you stop doing them? It’s all these little things that help oil the wheels of marriage. Coffee in bed or a bouquet of flowers “just because” are the little things that every marriage still needs.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2008 Hope Wilbanks