Living as a Military Wife

As a military wife I had to deal with the lack of a husband to hold me at night, and with my three year old that inquired as to “Why does daddy work so much?”

As a young adult, in my early twenties, I had physical as well as emotional needs. Needs, I hoped, my husband could fulfill. During my husband’s first deployment, I was going to school to become a nurse, and I was also on depression medication.

Those that have gone through depression can tell you: “It does not matter how many people are around you, if you are without your life partner, then you understand loneliness intimately. It would have a greater impact on you than if you have a brother, sister, aunt or parent that moves away.

The term "married but single" is often used for military families due to constant separation of families or spouses. As a married couple, you have financial and physical privileges over those who are dating. However, as a married military spouse you have the legal paperwork, and financial, but physical contact can become limited due to deployments, training, and long hours.

There are some serious psychological effects that can occur due to the separation of you and your spouse. Often, there becomes a looming lack of trust between partners due to the ability to cheat or be cheated on.

Unfortunately, there is a higher divorce rate within the military community than the general civilian population.

The non-military spouse might begin using narcotics, illegal drugs, abuse alcohol etc just to deal with the pain, isolation, loneliness, or boredom the separation causes. The active military member can become complacent, detached, and seek outside comfort etc.

The military likes to place positive aspects for families such as medical care, programs etc. However, the extended absences seem to do more harm than good and can challenge the family dynamics. The challenges far outweigh the stability of financial, educational or medical help for married service members.

If you are a single soldier, you are likely to benefit more than a married soldier. The Army offers grants, bonuses, promote seemingly quickly, offer educational programs, and allows the opportunity to travel the world. The chance to travel and explore new cultures and experiences is highly beneficial-if you do not have a wife or child that you must leave behind.

If I had been single, and without children I would have gladly signed up myself once upon a time. As a I already expressed; as a single soldier and young person, making your life in this crazy world can be challenging. The military helps you get on your feet, learn responsibility, and branch out into the world.

If you are attached, and struggling with being a military spouse, here is the best advise I can give on the matter: All marriages, if strong and joined for the right reasons (as in love and acceptance rather than convenience or last resort) can and will go through many trials. If you love one another, trust one another, and want the best for each other then your marriage will make it through.

However, if one or both partners are selfish, close minded, or not willing to work at the relationship then it will ultimately fail. Whether you are military or not.