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Looking For Love, Men Who Wear Lingerie? It Might Be Time To Quit Whining

Updated on October 14, 2009

This article might not win a great deal of friends, and is only aimed at one particular segment of the lingerie wearing male population. See, there are some men who wear lingerie, enjoy it for its sensuality and femininity and whatever else they get out of it. They wear it about the place as they see fit and they share it (or don't) with loved ones. There are a great deal of perfectly well adjusted men who wear lingerie and other items of women's clothing and I feel privileged to call many of them my friends.

Then there are the other men who wear lingerie. The victims. The ones who are so afraid of the world and of their lingerie that instead of handling it in an adult manner, they turn others into monsters. They think that it is the world's fault for not supporting their clothing choices, and whilst I understand, sympathize and agree on many fronts, there are some circumstances in which your choice of attire can and will affect someone personally, and that is in the case of relationships.

If you married a woman after dating her for several years, knowing full well what her expectations and comfort zones were, and then you spring your sissy ways on her one day, or worse, she catches you out, don't demonize her and all other women if she should happen to leave you. You were dishonest to her, you were dishonest to yourself and you created a situation that could only end in disaster.

The same applies if you choose to date women who are looking for hyper masculine men. Not all women are looking for this type of Alpha male, submissive female relationship, but some are, and if she is, then don't waste her time by pretending to be one thing when you know in your heart of hearts that you are not. You will set yourself up for disappointment and you will hurt her. Everyone has a right to be fulfilled in their relationship. You have the right to be accepted and loved for who you are, and you have the right to have your desires met (within reason.) She does as well.

A great deal of men who wear lingerie develop female alter egos. There's nothing wrong with that, but once again, don't get upset because hyper conservative Susie Cheerleader doesn't want to get down with Mandy when she married Mark.

You have a right to wear panties and lingerie and whatever else you like, but you don't have the right to demand that other people like it. There are women, such as myself, that do like it, find one of them, instead of chasing the unattainable women who have no interest in such things.

Here's the important part: it takes all types to make a world, and not all those types get along. You're better served by finding those who will love and support you for who you are than trying to deceive those who never will. The movement of fashion equality is growing, and in time, this may become a total non issue. There truly are so many open minded women out there (and by and large, if a woman really likes you, there is a lot she will allow, including panties.) Don't waste your time on the ice queens, bobble heads and succubi who won't let you be who you are. There really are plenty of fish in the sea.

Oh, and one last caveat, it might not always be the lingerie that's the problem, but it is probably always going to be a convenient excuse. If you're constantly having troubles with women who seemed open to lingerie at first, then back away later on, you might want to take a look at other aspects of the way you behave towards them. Just a hint.


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      8 years ago

      I agree with the "quit whining" theme and offer another approach for those men who haven't discovered the awesomeness that is Hope yet. I posted this originally on Hope's "He wears panties" website and i thought it relevant to this topic.

      I've been wearing clothing from the "women's" section since i was a young boy and often wore dresses and skirts before i met my wife. When we were dating I didn't get a chance to do it much because of the clothing requirements of my job(a smithy in a dress just isn't practical). After we married and she changed jobs, I was left free to pursue my desired career and no longer was restricted do denim and leather. I knew it would be a shock to just get back to the way I used to dress so I decided to ease it into our life. I took a step back to take two steps forward, so to speak. I "downgraded" to solid color boyshorts and low-rise hipsters under women's pants, occasionally throwing in a full length sarong on a trip to the beach. Eventually she progressed from the "whatever, it's just clothing" stage to full acceptance and even sharing clothes as we are very close to the same size. This didn't happen over night though so if you want to give it a shot don't push it and don't expect immediate results. It took a few years to get to where we are now but I'm glad I did it because I love my wife and couldn't imagine life without her. It also helped us a lot when we sat down together and we did some research so she could see that there are a great deal of straight married men with children who are just like us. This might not be for you but I will assure you of one thing, once she is more accepting of it and maybe even gets involved, that giant gorilla that likes to hound you constantly will leave and run off to torture some other poor unfortunate soul.

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      9 years ago

      I would agree. Its down to you. You have to be who you are and enjoy it and not try to please everyone by being conventional. A woman not into it is entitled to that too. She's entitled to honesty. Fear of rejection is a big thing with many men, the mentality of famine. The solution to that is a nice haircut, good female friends who may be nothing more than that and being honest and loving all parts of yourself including lingerie wearing, jeans and if you like miniskirts those too. But to blaim others is not the answer. Its better to be honest at the start because there are lots of possible matches, so why settle for less when you could find more. Time & the famine mentality (I wouldn't find someone better for me) is usually the problem. Love all parts of yourself is the answer & be honest at the start.

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      9 years ago

      I have to agree with Hope and Spin on this one! You need to be honest and up front early on in the relationship. A relationship built on false pretenses is bound to fail and fail miserably!

      As most of us know if you really and truely love somebody you are more than willing to over look a few flaws or kinks!

      Hope, when are you scheduled to be cloned, numerous times?

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      "(and by and large, if a woman really likes you, there is a lot she will allow, including panties.)" <-- This is a VERY true statement. The last 5 relationships I have been in, have involved me disclosing that I wear lingerie at some point in the relationship. Only one has ended poorly. And that was due to the caliber of person, not the lingerie. What i'm getting at is this: If you treat a person well enough for them to fall in love with you, there is only a few things that will be a deal breaker with them. For some women it might be lingerie, but for most it wont be -- if they really love and care about you. Making a woman feel special (which they are) is very important, and if she's willing to overlook your kinks, you should be willing to overlook hers. As hope said, both parties have a right to be accepted for who they are, and be part of a mutually fulfilling relationship. Its when those two things dont happen, that people get bitter and resentfull which begins the downfall of the relationship.

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      9 years ago

      Hope I agree fully with Cantsay you should be cloned a billion times over so that we can have a new wonderful world with new ideas and gender free. keep up the good work.

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      9 years ago

      Good Advice. Unfortunately we are keyed into acceptance. And therefore attempt to be acceptable to ALL. But this often requires different personas. As an example,when seeking employment we endevour to create a persona that will get us hired. It is also true in politics,a persona is projected to get elected. Because of this thinking,we often fail to express our TRUE self to others for fear of rejection. But it will come later with much more anger because we hid the truth. To add to this,we often go into relationships ( if we do know) that we will change the other person. BIG mistake,as both will be unhappy. I have had the experience. It is ALWAYS best to be REAL in the beginning. Others may not always be accepting,but they usually respect you for being honest. And in the case of relationships,you will have less invested (both) at the very beginning and it will not be as bad as it would be later. Although we hate rejection,being hated for lying (or at least witholding things) tends to be worse because of the anger

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      9 years ago

      All extremely sound advise that! If you feel someone you've met is special then be open and honest - no more than you would expect from them, right!

      I think cloning Hope would be a pretty bloody good idea too! :P


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