What is the Difference Between Love and Infatuation?

Some people believe that one soul gets split into a group of souls and the people that you meet in life that you are the closest to in a good or a bad way belong to your group of soul mates. Then each one of those souls is split into two parts and you go through life searching for the other half of your soul. That's what love relationships are about, people are looking for their soul mate. But even if you do find your soul mate, it doesn't mean that you will stay together. There are a lot of things that can go wrong. Sometimes there is a large age difference between you, or you live in different states or countries. Sometimes people never find their soul mates in this life.

I am the author of all of the articles about love on this page. I wrote them in 2006. Photo Credits: PD.

Here are some books with more detailed information about first meeting and then understanding your relationship with your soul mate.

H

ow do you know when you have found your soul mate? The best way to find true love is to not go and look for it. If you get into any relationship that you can just so you won't be lonely, you might regret it later because you might miss your chance to find and stay with your one true soul mate.

If you want to find your soul mate, you should be happy and fulfilled alone. Then you will meet them when and where you don't expect it. It is worth the wait to find the right one for you.

Sometimes you start out as friends and love grows over time. Sometimes true love happens just like in the movies where you look at somebody and have an instant connection as if you have known each other forever, like the other person was a part of your past.

Your heart just knows that it's right. It will feel like you are home and warm and safe. You will just know that you have found what you have been looking for all your life. It's more than just attraction.

It's like all the pieces of your life fit together complete and perfect like a puzzle. If you are with the wrong person for you, your relationship will be like trying to force a puzzle together with the wrong pieces that will never fit.

If you can clearly see and accept all of your soul mates bad qualities and you put their needs above your own, then it is true love.

T

his is about how to tell the difference between real love and infatuation.

People have an ideal image of the person that they want to fall in love with. When they find someone who meets that ideal image, then they are attracted to them.

If the people stay together and get to know everything about each other, then love will develop over time.

The person in love knows all about their beloved's faults and shortcomings and they still care deeply about them. Their whole behavior is directed toward the other person's happiness.

The infatuated person sees their adored one as perfect and flawless and they can become absorbed in daydreaming about them. They are more in love with their feelings than with the other person.

True love does not diminish when you are apart. If you have doubts, the love is superficial.

The infatuated person always thinks about how to impress the other person. In true love, you know that you are loved for who and what you are.

Love is a private bond. If it is true, you will not allow your intimate details to be made public.

You should talk about each other's views on money and children, especially if you want to get married.

Jealousy is a sign of possessiveness, not true love. A little bit of jealousy is normal if you love each other, but extreme jealousy is insecurity. You can be jealous without even being in love.

These are some of the differences between love and infatuation.

D

o we only love someone until we no longer get back from them what we loved them for? Or does our love remain even through broken hearts and unfulfilled expectations?

In a friendship, if a person changes something in their life and their friend does not agree with it, the friendship might end because it is so conditional. That is how you find out who your true friends are.

It seems like very few people will love someone unconditionally anymore. True unconditional love, where you will still be accepted and loved for being exactly who you are all the time, is very rare these days.

In a marriage, two people fall in love and get married. Things are great for a few years, but then if one of them decides to leave the marriage does all of the love that they have shared just come to an end?

It is possible for their unconditional love to remain in a different way. One of them can let the other go, but continue to love them without being bitter about it.

True love never ends. Once the love is there it will not just go away because someone made a choice that hurt the other person.

If you divorce and you have children, the relationship does not end, it just changes. The children can be harmed if the adults cannot get along and show them what true unconditional love is.

If you will allow someone to choose something that might not be what you want, and you will still accept them, you are giving them unconditional love.

Love allows freedom to choose and is never critical or judgemental. Keeping someone from choosing to do what makes them happy is need, not love.

But it does not mean that you have to accept and allow them to do anything and everything. You should love yourself first and have boundaries. It means that we all choose how we will relate to another.

If someone makes a decision, you choose whether to accept it or not, but keep loving them. If you do not allow someone to choose, they will be resentful and your relationship will be over anyway.

People need to feel that their feelings are validated and not criticized or judged. They need to feel like they can make life choices without losing your love. They need real true unconditional love, not a false image of love.

Written by William Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error, and upon me prov'd,

I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

Here are a few good books to help you improve your relationships.

People get married for a variety of reasons. Mutual love and companionship, to have a home and children, for emotional and economic security, for social and business advantages.

When you get married you start out happy, but after a few years you can get tired of doing the same things every day.

If you have children, they can take time and attention away from your marriage.

If you have a lot of stress, you can start to argue with your partner and other things become more important than your marriage.

It takes hard work to have a really good relationship. It's not easy to stay together forever.

Half of all marriages end in divorce. People think they would be happier with somebody else, but more than half of second marriages fail.

Here are some guides to help you have a good marriage.

W

hen you find your soul mate, you expect everything to be fine and work out good, but it's not all bliss.

There are always problems that need to be dealt with.

Other people can try to ruin your relationship. They can make you break up.

Sometimes you can grow apart or fall out of love and just give up.

Losing your soul mate through a breakup or divorce can feel like your world is coming to an end.

If you just recently broke up, but you are true soul mates, you should try to save your relationship and avoid the pain of a broken heart.

If you were not true soul mates, then you should let the relationship go so that you can find your soul mate.

Getting into a rebound relationship just so you won't be lonely doesn't always help. Most of the time the pain will still be there until you do something to heal it.

Losing your true love through a break up or a divorce can be like grief from a death.

But there are some things you can do to feel a little better. You could do something like learn a new language so that you can travel to a nice tropical place by the ocean. Going on a vacation to a nice place can help a broken heart.

Or you could organize your house. If your house is in order, your life might feel like it is in order.

1. Do things that you enjoy doing, like drawing or painting. Whatever gives you the most joy to do.

2. Keep a journal. Write down all of your thoughts about your love relationship and breakup. Do it every day until your heartbreak is healed.

3. Help other people that are going through a heartbreak. It will make you feel better and help you get over your heartbreak sooner.

4. Grow from it. Try to do some new things that you would not usually do, and do some things different than what you normally would so that you can grow from it.

5. Try to forget what you regret about your love relationship. You will think about what might have happened if you did this or that different a lot. Those thoughts will just keep on coming if you do not do something to stop them.

6. Make a list of all of the bad things in your love relationship that you did not like. It might make you feel a little bit better about the relationship being over.

7. Learn from it. Look at what you can learn from your break up and think about what you could do different in your next love relationship. Make a list of all the ways that you could make your new relationship better.

8. Accept that your relationship is over. Try not to think about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend too much.

9. Do not worry too much about what other people think about your relationship breakup.

10. Choose which people you will tell about your breakup. You should not tell everybody that you meet all about it. Just tell a few people that will be supportive about it.

11. Get your friends to support you. Tell them what they should do to help you.

12. It is best to not date anybody else until your heartbreak is fully healed. You should be able to have a healthy give and take love relationship. You will not be ready to do that if you just jump into a rebound relationship right away after your breakup.

Here are some guides to help you heal a broken heart caused by a relationship breakup, divorce, or grief.