- Gender and Relationships
Love At First Sight, Fact Or Fiction?
Love at first sight is, unfortunately, a myth. Love is far too complex an emotion to be decided with the eyes alone. Under any other circumstances, it would be considered socially unacceptable to make a judgment of another person based on what amounts to a brief glimpse of physical appearance.
There is a lot to be said for intuition. Certainly, a notional amount of information can be gleaned within just a few seconds. A physical attraction could be almost immediately apparent. Perhaps the way a person smiles, or use of body language, may suggest that this person has the attributes of someone you could potentially form a relationship with. However, how can we be certain of the accuracy of this information? How can we know for sure what lurks behind the smile?
I have heard people claim that they have fallen in love at first sight. This is usually backed with an account of a whirlwind romance. Everything was perfect. Then they reveal that within just a few weeks it resulted in a proposal of marriage and perhaps they lived happily ever after.
I am happy for these people. They have obviously formed a very loving and fruitful relationship. But, was it really love at first sight? If it were true, why did it take a few weeks for the proposal? Why was, "will you marry me" not the very first words spoken? The truth is, that no matter how fast the relationship moved, they did at least take some time in getting there. It was not instantaneous.
We are not as shallow as we often believe ourselves to be. It is not uncommon to look at an ex-partner and wonder what we ever saw in them. Conversely, it is by no means unusual to suddenly realize you have become attracted to someone you have known for some time. These feelings are simply not determined by sight alone.
Love cannot exist without intimacy. Not physical intimacy but emotional. The closeness that occurs between two people that comes from sharing. This can only be developed with time. No intimacy can exist when all that has been shared is a brief glimpse across a crowded room.
What of trust? You can certainly choose to trust someone from the outset but you cannot possibly know whether the recipient is worthy of it.
Should you ever witness one of these 'magical' moments, try suggesting to the spellbound that he/she go straight across, take the subject by the hand and march them off to the local solicitor's office to sign over half of his/her home.
I think you will discover that this person will rapidly re-evaluate whatever it is he or she is really feeling.