ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Deal with Situationships

Updated on May 13, 2015

Situationships. A new term for an old type of relationship. No one wants to talk about them because they don't want to admit that they've allowed themselves to 'settle' into one. If you are in a situationship, don't beat yourself up. You've come to the right place. First off, let's define exactly what a situationship is. It's the grey area between a committed,healthy relationship and being "just friends". It is more than 'friends with benefits" yet less that Facebook-official worthy. If you find yourself constantly explaining to people that "it's complicated" or "we have an understanding", it's likely that you have landed yourself into a situationship. If you're constantly unsure whether or not you have a right to be jealous or expect certain things from your "partner", that's another sure sign. But most of all, if you have no idea whether to introduce this person as "my friend (insert name here)" or something else, you're definitely in a situationship. But don't worry! Now that we've established that you're in one, here are some tips on where to go from here.

#1. Decide what you really want. Staying in this situation may seem "safe" because you technically "can't get hurt" since you're "not really committed". Trust me. Eventually one of you will find someone else or leave the situation because it's no longer convenient. Therefore, staying in this "safe" place will eventually lead to heartbreak. Putting it off will only makes things worse so decide now if you want to be just friends or if you want this relationship to move forward into a long-term relationship.#2. Communicate. You have to tell your "other" about the decision you made and see how they feel about the subject. In a perfect world, they will want the exact same thing as you and you will both live happily ever after. However, we unfortunately live in the real world so you have to be prepared to accept that they may want much more...or much less, than you do. I'm not going to lie to you-be prepared to get your heart broken. What matters most is that you leave this conversation with both parties knowing exactly what the other wants-no more grey areas allowed. And finally, #3. Stick to it. It's so easy to feel lost when you no longer have someone to text all the time. It's hard to deal with no longer having someone whisper sweet nothings to you or consistently check up on you. You're going to want to hit them up and pick up where you left off-especially if you know they still have some feelings for you. Do your best to avoid this temptation. It's only kicking an old can down the same road-you'll eventually have to pick it up. The sooner you accept that this situationship is going nowhere, the sooner you can move on and find someone who will not wait to make you theirs. They will finally treat you the way you deserve and make you feel like the special treasure that you are. It's going to be hard, but it's also going to be worth it. Good luck!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Imani Jane profile imageAUTHOR

      Imani Jane 

      3 years ago

      Thank you so much for that! I appreciate the words of wisdom :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      It's so easy to go on "auto-pilot" in various stages of relationships.

      As a child I can recall elderly people introducing "their friend" to family members at BBQs and so on. Now that I'm an adult I'm sure those "friendships" weren't strictly platonic! LOL!

      I imagine there are many seniors who'd be very happy and content to have "Situationships" which pose no threat to their finances or wishes to pass down money to family members. After all they are either widows or widowers and even possibly divorced. They've been there, done that.

      Young men also aren't likely to complain about "Situationships" especially if it involves sex with no strings attached. Of course there are those who do become emotionally attached to girls that enjoy playing the field. Sometimes people want the thing they can't have the most!

      Having said that I suppose it's young women who still have their sites set on marriage who have the most difficult time with "Situationships"

      Initially it was fun and easy to pass the time while pursing a career or finishing school. A year or two blows by and they realize they have made no room or time to find their "ideal mate". Mr. "Right Now" is taking up their time.

      The worst case scenario is they are in love with him or her but this person is very content with the way things are. In essence it's the "friend zone" with sex! Whenever two people realize they no longer want the same thing it's best to move on as you suggested.

      However I would say don't make out like the other person is the "bad guy". It's not their fault that you decided you needed or wanted more.

      Having said that every serious relationship I have had began casually and (evolved) into something serious. It takes time to get to know someone. Chemistry and other factors elevate one person over another.

      Just because a guy and girl are looking to get married doesn't mean they'd be perfect for each other. And yet people often will say: "I'm looking for someone who is ready to settle down."

      The goal should be to find someone who wants to settle down with (you) and not simply because you were the next person to cross their path!:)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)