- Gender and Relationships
How to Deal with Situationships
Situationships. A new term for an old type of relationship. No one wants to talk about them because they don't want to admit that they've allowed themselves to 'settle' into one. If you are in a situationship, don't beat yourself up. You've come to the right place. First off, let's define exactly what a situationship is. It's the grey area between a committed,healthy relationship and being "just friends". It is more than 'friends with benefits" yet less that Facebook-official worthy. If you find yourself constantly explaining to people that "it's complicated" or "we have an understanding", it's likely that you have landed yourself into a situationship. If you're constantly unsure whether or not you have a right to be jealous or expect certain things from your "partner", that's another sure sign. But most of all, if you have no idea whether to introduce this person as "my friend (insert name here)" or something else, you're definitely in a situationship. But don't worry! Now that we've established that you're in one, here are some tips on where to go from here.
#1. Decide what you really want. Staying in this situation may seem "safe" because you technically "can't get hurt" since you're "not really committed". Trust me. Eventually one of you will find someone else or leave the situation because it's no longer convenient. Therefore, staying in this "safe" place will eventually lead to heartbreak. Putting it off will only makes things worse so decide now if you want to be just friends or if you want this relationship to move forward into a long-term relationship.#2. Communicate. You have to tell your "other" about the decision you made and see how they feel about the subject. In a perfect world, they will want the exact same thing as you and you will both live happily ever after. However, we unfortunately live in the real world so you have to be prepared to accept that they may want much more...or much less, than you do. I'm not going to lie to you-be prepared to get your heart broken. What matters most is that you leave this conversation with both parties knowing exactly what the other wants-no more grey areas allowed. And finally, #3. Stick to it. It's so easy to feel lost when you no longer have someone to text all the time. It's hard to deal with no longer having someone whisper sweet nothings to you or consistently check up on you. You're going to want to hit them up and pick up where you left off-especially if you know they still have some feelings for you. Do your best to avoid this temptation. It's only kicking an old can down the same road-you'll eventually have to pick it up. The sooner you accept that this situationship is going nowhere, the sooner you can move on and find someone who will not wait to make you theirs. They will finally treat you the way you deserve and make you feel like the special treasure that you are. It's going to be hard, but it's also going to be worth it. Good luck!