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Love Is Offered. Love Is Made. But Be Careful When Your Heart Becomes Dizzy and Doubting. Be Ready for Pain!

Updated on July 7, 2021
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Christofer spent 10 years in family counseling. Later he obtained a Psy. D.. His focuses: Health, History, Astrology, Politics and Fables

Heart and Mind Series

Can Sincerity Be Any Deeper?

Yes, Thomas Merton was a great religious writer. And Asian philosophers populate libraries all over the world. When the offer of love is placed in its purity at the feet of its object from the heart of the giver, this gift is as pure as flowing water or a fresh breeze. And when one makes this kind of pure offering of love, the reverence that the giver feels is profound and the essence of that love rises up through the nostrils to the loved and the lover.

But then. You wait a few days. The Receiver's appreciation of this tremendous offering does not stay long in the nostrils. After a few days, we humans begin to cast our eyes about the Serengetti of the Fields of Romance, and the bubbling Springs of Physical Contact, and the intersection of the Highways of Socialization.

Time passes and you meet again. The Lover filled with the Loving still feels the warm blooded magic of their relationship pumping, pumping, being as real as they can imagine. The completeness and oneness of the Heart's fully felt concern is then challenged; not thanklessly, but with a tinge of doubt that comes from that treacherous enemy of love, that horrible word -- "Comparison". The Loved is somewhat paralyzed, a tad arrested, somewhat inclined to shed that memory that is only a few days old.

When Doubt Dizzies the Heart

Upon hearing this doubt, a tenuous shiver goes down the nerve endings and floods the mind and heart with a dizzying feeling. We could feel unvalidated. We dressed our creation up, and we knew if we were completely sincere that this would have an overwhelming effect on the loved one.

But it didn't seem to. When you took your newly promised love home that night, the only thing that walked across your dreams was an image of the beloved, and unending smiles falling from the generous sky. Surely nothing could malign or disturb what was going to be so pure and perfectible that other relationships would not be able to be compared.

But now? Who is this person who disturbed your feeling of my love. Brown hair? A short nose? How tall? Smart? Is he smart? Can he be anymore in love with you than me? "He said what?" He said I was young and immature, that I was not sure of myself and did not have the proper understanding or wisdom to be able to appreciate the wonder and beauty of your body mind and spirit?

He said I was not good enough?

How can a love be perfected if it is not going through the ins and outs of daily challenge? How can my pounding heart and pleading soul produce a perfected love if it is unattached? My love is looking up at the hill, beyond the fence that keeps me restricted. The birds how they fly. The little prancing creatures smile at me as they walk along the fence line. I contemplate my perfected love. I even pray that this act of mine will not go unrecognized. That the Forces that be will work in her heart to cause her to see in me something so wonderful that she will turn from my competitors and reflect back to that night when something so special was manifest directly from the deepest part of my being --- only for her.

Selection is Subjective and Individuated

I submitted my grief to an old man. He smiled. "I have felt like that many times".

"I must protest. This love that I speak of could only be offered to this one special person."

The Old Man looked off the the steep hill beyond my fence. "If I were to let you just go right over that hill, do you know what would happen to your love?"

"Are you trying to suggest that my pure perfected love would be tainted, and be offered to just any person I would meet?"

The Old Man put his hand on my shoulder and assisted me in my climb up the steep hill. "No, you will offer your perfected wonderful love with all of the original hope and desire that you did in the past."

"But she won't be as wonderful will she?"

"You will look into her eyes and understand that your love is wonderful for its actual offering. It has been perfected, because now you understand that love is not magic because some wonderful person accepts it, it is wonderful because you have the ability to offer it. And you will discover something, when your love is accepted it will have a new majesty that you have never felt before."

"It is not only in the making of love, but the movement of love to the loved, and the new creation of magnetic spiritual fire that the two make together. It is this that is the Perfecting of Love!"

© 2012 Christofer French


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