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Love Is When You Smile.

Updated on July 10, 2020

I didn't realize what he meant to me until I was far away from him and I didn't realize how much importance he will have in my life. I always thought of my future husband and made up his face and the way he looks in my mind. What I didn't realize if you love someone, their looks do not matter. I used to have a crush on this guy named Aaron. I don't know why I liked him until I realized why I liked him. I asked out Jimmy because I wanted to make my crush Aaron jealous. To make him feel left out on what was missing. James on the other hand agreed to date me because he also wanted to make his crush jealous.

We started our fake dating and I seriously didn't realize I had feelings for him until he left me for his crush. I pretended I was okay but I knew better. I wasn't okay. I felt something of me was missing. The next day, he came back to me. Part of me didn't want him back because he left me for someone else but then again I chose to listen to my heart instead of my brain. We were dating and it was hard but we were happy and managing to keep each other happy. This was type of happiness I never had in my life before and I didn't want to lose that.

Our happiness was ruined until my family found out about us. They don't want me with anyone because my family was very religious and traditional. I thought Jim was going to leave me but how wrong I was. They took away my every device and I couldn't contact him anymore. He lived an hour away so I couldn't meet him every day and stuff. I was so devastated and I didn't know what to do. I thought I lost Jim forever that my family has ruined my happiness like they always have.

I would go to school every day and take my friend's phone to text Jim. it was hard but it was at least something. I was about to give up on us, on hope but he made sure I didn't. After like a month, His mom bought me a phone so I could contact them and make sure I'm safe. I was happy because I had a way to contact Jim and his mom. His mom meant so much to mean. She was very nice and kind. I thought everything was okay but like again I was wrong.

My family knew about my phone but they didn't say anything. They were waiting for the perfect time to take it away and they did. Once again, I was devastated but eventually, schools were closed because of coronavirus and I got a laptop from school to do my work. This was a way I contacted Jim. He made sure I did my school work while I was talking to him. He made sure I was also taking care of myself.

I still contact Jim from the school laptop and now the school has ended but I took summer schools to get extra credit and to talk with James. I don't know if our relationship will end or not. I don't know if we will survive this conflict or not but I do know it was worth it. Every risk for him was worth it because he made me love myself like I never did. He chose me from all the other girls. He stood up by me when most of my friends backed up. He never left my side and made sure I was okay and mostly he made sure I was smiling and his smile was enough to make me smile.

© 2020 Maheen Balouch

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