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MEN: How to Successfully Meet; Talk to Mysterious Women

Updated on November 14, 2014

It's a great night for a single guy

You check your appearance, ( a habit your dad, a charming gentleman taught you), ingbefore you leave for what you hope will be an adventerous night.

You deserve a night of unexpected excitement, you think to yourself as you get into the cab and tell the driver to head to your favorite restaurant, "SoHo-Lite," known for its quiet atomosphere and professional piano player filling the room with soft notes of mood music. This is as far from being a burger joint with sawdust on the floor as your boss is from being a missionary overseas.

"Sometimes an encounter with someone new has hidden doors that it is best left unopened."

— Gregory Whitworth

Then, while telling the waiter

Where you would love to sit, your eyes fasten upon "her." The waiter notices your momentary unsettled minute, but never brings attention to your stammer. Your eyes cannot look anywhere else but on "her," even while walking with the waiter to your table, that you feel is in an inconveient place, for you have a secret agenda: to successfully-meet this woman in your vision and just have a few moments of intelligent conversation with her. That's it.


The preface

Your eyes, and now your nerves are sending you silent-but-stern messages to not sit still, but to leave your table and simply walk over to where "she" is sitting. This shouldn't make you nervous. You are a man of 30, mature, mannerable, and a man who has staked his claim in the world and the memory of your best pal, "J.J. Dupree," who was killed in Afghanistan on his second tour of duty, who told you before he left about one thing to keep in mind when meeting women at your age: "You are not at the prom anymore."


The initial encounter

Is not to be blown with some silly frat boy comment. This rare meeting has to be ndled just right, almost-perfect, if possible, for you, without hearing one word from "this" woman, are already taken by her by her unassuming beauty and obvious charm.

Do not, above all, use these phrases

  • "Are you as sweet as the cake in this place?"
  • "10 is the highest number I can use to describe you."
  • "I won't waste your time, so what is your name?"
  • "How was heaven when you left there this morning?"

If you want to look like a uncultured, ill-mannered freshman in college, just use THESE phrases.


For a man such as yourself, THESE are the phrases to use

  • "I just want to talk." -- this simple phrase erases the fear that she might have of you being someone who wants to sleep with her.
  • "Do you mind greatly if I sit here for only a moment?" -- this cultured-phrase sends her a signal that you are of high-manners and respect for women.
  • "I hate to display my ignorance, but are you an author?" -- this phrase assures her that you do not have a self-serving attitude, a definite plus for a man of your station in life.
  • "May I assume that you are with someone?" -- this is a lethal compliment to a woman as mysterious as this woman. And to be factual, she is not a blond-haired, blue-eyed cheerleader in her senior year of high school.
  • "Do you mind if I just sit a moment and embracee your beauty?" -- an honest question best-asked after fifteen-minutes of meeting her.

What to do and how to react if she gives off a coldness

If she

  • Laughs quietly at you -- do not panic and run off. Just keep yourself settled and "Endure the storm," for this may be a test that she gives men to see if they are serious about meeting her.
  • Glares are you -- just be quiet and look deep into her eyes. Then humbly-apologize for embarrassing her.
  • Asks you to leave -- do not cause a boorish scene. Just discreetly excuse you and say, "I am sorry. I was only wanting to talk."
  • Says nothing and you are getting edgy -- ask her if she is from where the restaurant is located. This is an unusual change of conversation and should not cause you or her any discomfort.
  • Looks uninterested -- DO NOT beg, plead, or act desperate. Just smile and say, "Have a pleasant evening," and then quietly walk away.

"No enlightened author, man or woman, has the magic things to say when meeting a woman for the first time. Being unarmed is always the best way to show her your "real" self."

— Russell Hunter


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Thank you sincerely. You are so nice that it humbles me. I hope and pray that YOU and yours have a

      Very Merry CHRISTmas.

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 3 years ago from Jamaica

      Nice hub kenny