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Macho Guys vs Sissies | The Male Paradox

Updated on October 13, 2009

In this modern age, macho guys have become as much of a parody of themselves as gay men who walk around limp wristed and lisping about Liz Taylor. Our perception of machismo has become cliched. We think of macho men as men who move in packs, playing sports, leering at women and doing other manly things, like destroying their livers with alcoholic beverages. Professionally, their jobs generally involve some kind of violence. They hunt tigers, they build steel bridges, they become bionic sniper men.

As my father used to say, the reason things become cliches is because they're so often accurate. Men as described above actually do exist, and not only do they exist, they are quite prevalent in some sectors of society.

But in spite of the fact that macho men can be quite borish, society doesn't judge macho guys too harshly, perhaps because macho guys are more likely to kick their asses. Sissy men (not to be mistaken for gay men,) get a hard time because they are much softer targets, and on the whole, there is some social contract which we've bought into which encourages picking on the weak as long as the weak aren't children or in possession of breasts.

There's nothing wrong with a guy being macho sometimes. Testosterone is a powerful force, and the expression thereof is a healthy thing. Women love men being macho occasionally, it makes them feel safe, desired and protected. There's well over a hundred articles here about men wearing lingerie and expressing their feminine side, but I would hate to see that construed as some kind of attack on or movement against men who prefer to chop wood with their bare hands.

The reality of the situation (according to my view of reality, yours may differ) is that most men are multi-faceted creatures. The very same man can weld steel, crush cans with his forehead and cry because his child's pet bunny (which he did all the tending to anyway) died. The same man who spent last night in a hotel room trying on panties and bras could quite likely the same man who strides, suit clad into a boardroom the next day and sells a truck of weapons grade plutonium to Iran. The hunter out tracking a deer for days with a high caliber might occasionally have to pause to work the lace thong wedgie out of his butt.

We all have a face we portray to the world. For some men, that image is strong and macho, for others it is softer. But as we were so often taught in kindergarten, you cannot judge a book by its cover. Every man has his own story, and in most cases, the stronger the outward macho image, the more unbendingly testosterone charged the man, the softer the creamy inside of his personality really is.

Caveat: This isn't always a good thing. It can lead to rough, tough men who are capable of expressing tenderness and affection to their loved ones, or it can lead to rough, tough men who become hysterically upset when their feelings are hurt and do stupid, brutal things to people. Machismo can be an effective cover for a whole host of emotional problems and issues, and sadly, some men are taught that covering issues with a stiff upper lip is the way to handle them.

I say, give us not macho men and give us not sissies, but give us truly well rounded, multi facted men who can express and be comfortable with all parts of themselves. Let us seek balance in all things.


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    • profile image

      Princess Michiru 

      8 years ago

      I am not afraid to express my femininity.

      Even my nameitself is a feminine name & I don't regret changing it.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Another great article Hope!

      You point out very vailid points. As a Supporter of male Femininity and the Empowerment of Women and girls, I often wish that there was not this Great "Double Standard". A Female athlete can compete on the Basketball Court, sweating, Boxing Out and being Very Physical, then go to the Locker Room, shower, slip into some delicat nylons, and a pretty dress and high heels with makeup and accessories, and that is Fine. However, if a boy or man did the same thing, All Hell would break loose. We are all human, and we all have a masculine and feminine side. Once a man or boys shows his Femininity know, he is ridiculed or worse, what a shame.

      Thanks for your wonderful Writings!


    • SatinJenni profile image


      9 years ago from Burlington Ontario Canada

      I'm a macho guy who wears lingerie.

      I have the macho career, I'm big, strong and muscular and I present as you would expect. I play sports and I do all the guy things expected of me. I don't suffer from any personality dysfunction or insecurities yet I love to wear lingerie. I suppose this is what is most intriguing about me, the contrast of stereotypical expectations.

      What I like most about being a panty wearing guy is that my confidence is obvious. If asked, I have no inhibitions of making my quirk known. I enjoy and prefer to wear womens underwear and now what? Definitely different but harmless, it remains such a non starter.. If your pardon the pun...I am "ballsy" enough and confident enough to just be myself that no one ever really needs to dig deeper. My masculinity is never questioned remains an obvious.

      I think I epitomize the type of man a woman seeks in a partner. Neither exclusively macho, nor overly feminine, just confident in who he is.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Probably, a guy who actually did hunt tigers would be kind of a douche bag

    • profile image

      A guy 

      9 years ago

      I think that girls like guys to look like a bad boy, but a good guy on the inside. The panty wearing thing is a part of the "looks" and so clashes with the bad boy "appearance". I think most girls would prefer if their man was a lingerie designer (and only "looks" like he hunts tigers in his spare time), than a lingerie wearer (who actually "does" hunt tigers in his spare time).

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Do any women really want a 'bad boy'? I've never seen the attraction, possibly because I equate 'bad boy' with 'asswipe' .. there's nothing wrong with nice guys who look bad ass though... that was the whole deal with Kevin Sorbo as Hercules

    • profile image

      A guy 

      9 years ago

      Being a panty wearing SNAG that looks horribly like a bad-boy brutus can-kill-on-demand type of guy, I find there's endless pros & cons to this type of existence. I once had a guy jokingly call me "gay", which I suppose was meant to be an insult. I replied with "So how does that make you feel knowing that a gay man could break you in two if you open your mouth again?" heh... Of course, I was just joking back, but it was a physical possibility if need be. ;) I had a girlfriend once who said I looked like the type of guy that just broke out of prison. Towards the end of our relationship, she was buying me panties whenever she shopped for hers. Her acceptance of my secret personality was great. The fact that I can walk down a dark alley in the middle of the night knowing that I'm more likely to scare others than become a victim, is also useful. But then there are plenty of cons. I attract girls that want a bad boy, and they usually find themselves horribly disappointed. Etc etc.


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