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Macho Guys vs Sissies | The Male Paradox

Updated on October 13, 2009

In this modern age, macho guys have become as much of a parody of themselves as gay men who walk around limp wristed and lisping about Liz Taylor. Our perception of machismo has become cliched. We think of macho men as men who move in packs, playing sports, leering at women and doing other manly things, like destroying their livers with alcoholic beverages. Professionally, their jobs generally involve some kind of violence. They hunt tigers, they build steel bridges, they become bionic sniper men.

As my father used to say, the reason things become cliches is because they're so often accurate. Men as described above actually do exist, and not only do they exist, they are quite prevalent in some sectors of society.

But in spite of the fact that macho men can be quite borish, society doesn't judge macho guys too harshly, perhaps because macho guys are more likely to kick their asses. Sissy men (not to be mistaken for gay men,) get a hard time because they are much softer targets, and on the whole, there is some social contract which we've bought into which encourages picking on the weak as long as the weak aren't children or in possession of breasts.

There's nothing wrong with a guy being macho sometimes. Testosterone is a powerful force, and the expression thereof is a healthy thing. Women love men being macho occasionally, it makes them feel safe, desired and protected. There's well over a hundred articles here about men wearing lingerie and expressing their feminine side, but I would hate to see that construed as some kind of attack on or movement against men who prefer to chop wood with their bare hands.

The reality of the situation (according to my view of reality, yours may differ) is that most men are multi-faceted creatures. The very same man can weld steel, crush cans with his forehead and cry because his child's pet bunny (which he did all the tending to anyway) died. The same man who spent last night in a hotel room trying on panties and bras could quite likely the same man who strides, suit clad into a boardroom the next day and sells a truck of weapons grade plutonium to Iran. The hunter out tracking a deer for days with a high caliber might occasionally have to pause to work the lace thong wedgie out of his butt.

We all have a face we portray to the world. For some men, that image is strong and macho, for others it is softer. But as we were so often taught in kindergarten, you cannot judge a book by its cover. Every man has his own story, and in most cases, the stronger the outward macho image, the more unbendingly testosterone charged the man, the softer the creamy inside of his personality really is.

Caveat: This isn't always a good thing. It can lead to rough, tough men who are capable of expressing tenderness and affection to their loved ones, or it can lead to rough, tough men who become hysterically upset when their feelings are hurt and do stupid, brutal things to people. Machismo can be an effective cover for a whole host of emotional problems and issues, and sadly, some men are taught that covering issues with a stiff upper lip is the way to handle them.

I say, give us not macho men and give us not sissies, but give us truly well rounded, multi facted men who can express and be comfortable with all parts of themselves. Let us seek balance in all things.


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