Dealing with the stigma
I wont talk about any other countries. I'll just stick to where I came from. The Philippines. A lot Filipino immigrants that came in the US through marriage are subjected to vicious gossip and harsh judgments including from their own countrymen. They are called with so many things such as the title of this article. The thought comes out from different reasons:
- Some people think that Filipinos are too desperate to come in the US.
- They think that Filipinos are only after Green card and nothing else.
- This Filipino woman/man looks greedy.
- Huge age gap of the couple.
- One of them is too ugly or too pretty.
- One is rich, one isn't.
- Couple have absolutely nothing in common.
- They just judge basically of what they hear from TV and other peoples experience.
- Bad personal experience.
- They seem to have personal issues with this kind of relationships
Now, no one can say that these are preposterous. It happens. But when you see a seemingly odd couple, how can you tell it's for real or not?
- Filipino-American marriages has a lower divorce rate (20%) compared to American to American (40%).
- Mail-O-B has been illegal in the Philippines since June 1990.
- No matter how unusual the couple met and dated, they will still have to pass through rigid US immigration scrutiny.
- Philippines is one of the only two countries in the world that doesn't have a divorce law. (Vatican and The Philippines). A Filipino citizen who got married to a foreigner CANNOT INITIATE a divorce.
- The Philippines already had two women Presidents. Filipino women work and they are not exactly subservient. Filipino wives run the show in the household just like any other wives around here.
- Just like any other women in the world, financial stability is ONE of the most important factors to consider before getting married because it's one of the biggest reason why couples separate in a first place. When the man has money, it's a huge advantage.
When the beneficiary walks out of the marriage after getting a green card, you can't tell right away if the marriage was solely for the purpose of green card. As what Dr. Phil said, "No matter how flat the pancake is, there's always two sides.". Relationships, however it started will either grow or fall. There are a lot of foreigners that came here just to be abused by their controlling partners. It just so happen that the green card has to be processed along the way of their problem. Some of these foreigners are murdered for an insurance money, something that is unheard of in the Philippines even just simply killing a family member. There, relatives are the last ones you'll think as a suspect. As a result, some Filipino relatives fear for their own that's living here. They thought that killing for an insurance money is very easy. They don't understand that insurance investigators are more suspicious than the police.
So when you see a couple, that looks too odd to be together, try not to judge right away. Marriage Fraud happens in many forms regardless of the age gap, race, social status, looks and background. Too bad the immigrants are the ones who are always subjected to this without even being given a chance.
"An opinion is what you have when you don't have any facts. When you have the facts, you don't need an opinion."- Solomon Short