Making a Relationship Work: 30 Things You Need to Know
Want to make your relationship work?
This is the first part of my "making a relationship work" series. These are the basic tips you need as a start-up for creating an atmosphere for your love life to thrive greatly. The tips are not categorized based on character traits but when followed with patience and desire for change will yield a greater outcome.
1. Actively express your love to each other even when you don't feel anything. Passion may fade, but a love known and shared never dies. Communicate how glad you are to have this person in your life. There are some actions you need to take also to represent your appreciation to their dedication in the relationship. The excuse of loving her from your heart might ruin the passion that supposed to be built a step at a time. So do not hide the good from the giver.
2. Commit to your partner's emotional well-being. You're free to feel everything when you need to feel it, but be more concerned about how your partner feels. This brings about the essence of empathy for the success of every relationship. Love itself is an element of sentiment, an emotional feeling of protectiveness and concern for one’s interests. This emotional state must be maintained by not being manipulated, taken for granted or hurt but to handle it like the most expensive jewel. This is the only way to be understood and understand each other during hard times and conflicts. Do not expect perfection. Emotions are faulty and unstable, all that matters is having a rational mind around to settle it by creating a desired comfort.
3. Become romantic. No, I'm not saying that you should take your partner to the bed all the time to make your relationship work. I'm talking about making your relationship as romantic as possible. Strive to define the real meaning of passionate love making. Focus on making every of it, a dream come true and a session never to be forgotten. Sending texts in between your busy hours also works especially when it’s not necessary. Create a moment where each of you will experience new or refreshing experience. Search romantic texts relevant to the kind if partner you have and the moment, and use it all the time. Gifts also work well in rekindling the passion for romance in a relationship. Note that you don’t have to spend much in order to achieve it. All you need is plan, a budget that will favour your income and primary needs as a couple.
4. Show your love practically. Show off your partner to your friends, co-workers and business partners. Show him/her how proud you are about how committed they are in your relationship. It feels good to know that somebody is proud of you even in the presence of your potential rivals. So try doing this and you will create this intense feel of love again. The most important thing is if you are able to refresh and rekindle the passion every time you go out of your way to do something not so usual.
Holding hands, looking your partner in the eye; show affection even in a less flattering situation for both you. Brag about what you have. Learn to appreciate and value what you have while you have it. Yes, in order to be able to appreciate your partner practically. Try to imagine yourself going through all these things alone and think about who is most relevant to your present life apart from them. That way you will recognize how important what you have is.
5. Do not be too arrogant to apologize or too paranoid to forgive. Life happens in a real time, and every moment you spent hurt shall never be regained. Do not make decisions in your anger, cool down and demand peace. Don’t look for righteousness or justification; focus on peace and resolution of every arising conflict. Do not rise your voice on your partner either, the more matured you handle situations the more you gain respect form your significant other. Instead of trying to win an argument, learn the concept of acceptance. Let the other win for peace to dwell. If it is about something you have to go through every day, meet a counsellor for a proper settling of complicated cases. Misunderstandings won’t come as a surprise, so be ready for them.
6. Employ communication. Talk about both good and bad. Complain if you need to, but with love and affection. Develop a burning desire for peace. Learn to listen with your heart. The art that supposed to be studied with extra attention is the art of listening. Many people in this century have an exclusive and skilful way of expression but lack the art of listening. It is not about the phrase that comes out of the mouth, it is more about how it is been said and the spirit in the vocal. Once you become a good listener, you are going to be relevant all the time in your fight for happiness in a relationship.
7. Never ever share your relationship problem with a friend or relative. This is a golden rule. Break it and you shall lose the most valuable substance of your relationship--trust. Take charge of your problems and try as much as possible to understand the extent of every argument.
Check yourself out, you might be at fault. Relationship is 2 sided, and any problem involving 2 people cannot be solved without a clear analogy of the behaviour of both parties.
8. Do not be selfish or reluctant. Do not be reluctant about what makes or breaks your partner. In a long-term relationship, what breaks your partner also breaks you. When you let it leak, it will flush the both of you.
9. Establish trust on a strong levelled ground. Trust is attained through genuine loyalty and respect for one another. When you respect my feelings, you're not going to do anything fishy that will hurt me. And if you can't do that, I also won't be able to disrespect you. Trust is established this way; nurturing the biggest part of transparency and selflessness.
10. Love without touch does not know affection. Long-distance relationship is hectic! Be close with your partner by spending at least 3 hours every day together. Closeness deepens your feelings and before you know it, your relationship might be in the land of "no break".
While you need to be close, do not forget about your hobbies, friends and business. Encourage your partner to pursue a reasonable goal and you'll both come together to tell your stories. Thus increases your intellectual bond.
Becoming Supportive to Your Partner
11. Be supportive. Be around. Make your presence different from your absence. Make that impact both emotionally and physically. Learn to listen. Only by listening actively will you be able to know your partner and what you supposed to do to bring change where there's need.
12. Never ever play games in your long-term relationship pursuit. Game is for teens and those who are not ready to settle for good. Do not play the distant threat or the silent treatment; it makes you inconsiderate and sometimes results to abusive relationship.
13. Love is all about respect. Build a personality, to deserve the respect. Respect your partner, and you shall claim it. Do not demand respect by aggressiveness or constant assertion. Respect is earned gradually and when built, it stands as strong and long as the relationship lives. A better relationship thrives in the lake of respect for each other’s interest, because nobody is going to be used as material but love shall flow like a refreshing spring.
14. Life's not a fairy tale that just happens while you're skipping in the forest. I do business because of the money. I do love because I want to be loved. Care is what you need to give and be given. Love without care that's satisfying to the mind and emotion cannot stand the wind of intimidation. When it comes, it washes away the long standing imaginary passion. Don't let that happen to you. Become loving and caring, and then expect the same thing.
15. My passion is my life, my love, my priority. Your partner must be your passion, your love and your priority. It's not an obligation but a feeling. When you don't feel like you're driven by the natural feeling of being committed, that relationship is not working. Failed present commitment does not define a well future relationship.
16. Hard work pays but smartness does more! Yes, hard work can bring you the beautiful moment of financial freedom in your relationships. But wait, who are you going to share the money and the bed with? Share your fortune with a beautiful/handsome fool and you shall regret it in time. Go for the partner that raises your intellects, as well as your desires.
17. Relationship is all about attraction. Who you are means a lot in determining who you'll attract. Be the requirement of your requirements. Be the fantasy of your fantasy. Act like the person you want to spend your whole life with. An elephant only gets attracted to an elephant.
18. A working relationship is a relationship that plants its stem on the ground of openness and transparency. Present your case and never cover up. Present the worst issue that seem to threaten your attractiveness. For when your lover finds out after 6 months and leave, you've practically wasted 6 months of your life.
19. Dream about the kind of man or woman you desire, with all the perfection and treasures. But when you find someone half your expectation, embrace them. For people need people to become complete people.
20. Allow yourself to be cultivated. Allow yourself be corrected. Allow yourself be scolded. Allow yourself to be loved. Many people are out there looking for someone to show them the right way of doing things, to be corrected, even scolded. They make mistakes every day and are lonely and frustrated. You have the most desirable demand in the world, having someone that loves to correct you just to see you excel. Never argue about your flaws. Nobody is perfect, so be humble and you shall be the greatest.
Decision Making and Conflict Resolution Skills
21. Love starts from decision. Once you decide, be slow in changing your decision. Love grows overtime. Fighting, misunderstanding, breakup and reconciliation are all part of the growth. But live in order to improve, and love the person that is willing to do the same.
22. Infatuation is a healthy stage in a relationship. After the heat, warmness might set in. Just like a hot coffee on the dining table, love does that. You ignite and re-ignite love by gifts and practical support for your loved one.
23. You don't have to feel excited all the time. No true love thrives on excitement alone. True love knows all about dark moments, the deepest night and the refreshing dawn. Relationship is all about relating with every moment together, regardless of the feelings involved.
24. Diamonds can be girl’s best friend and football, a guy’s best friend. But verbal expression is couples’ best friend. Express your love and it shall sink deep in the heart. Communicate your feelings and be honest about it.
25. Become romantic when you have to. For out of that, you increase the bond in your relationship. Be romantic for the sake of enjoyment. Be romantic to establish intimacy.
26. Use surprises to ignite love and affection. Show your lover that he/she is on your mind and in your heart. Surprise to show you care. And that which you're good at doing to your partner shall be their habit as well. Don't struggle to surprise, but use opportunities.
27. Showcase your partner as a pride. Flaunt your significant other as a prize. Show the world how love thrives. Show your partner their worth. Increase their confidence in the relationship to start receiving showers of love from a confident partner. It's exclusive!
28. Disputes? Solve the problem at a time. Be specific. Talk about the very problem. Just that problem alone. Don't complain about everything. Don't generalize, so that you don't overwhelm your partner. An overwhelmed partner cannot make adjustment easily. He/she can't even listen. Stick to these plans and you shall be alright.
29. Words to avoid when arguing: "constantly" and "always". Problems are solved easily without these words, making everybody less defensive.
30. You share a secret and it's confided. Your partner shares a secret and it's confided. Once you disclose any of the information to someone else, you lose the trust you get from your partner. Keep your family secret safe.