Marriage Advice – Secrets to a Wonderful Marriage
Want to have a wonderful marriage, the kind all your friends are envious of? A marriage is the longest relationship two people can have and should be the most wonderful. For many people however, marriage is less than wonderful.
Why? It is because they don't know the secrets to a wonderful marriage.
But you can! If you want some marriage advice to get and keep your marriage on track to be the joyous, wonderful marriage it was intended to be, read on!
My Helpful Resources
- Marriage advice and information to help with your relationship | The Marriage Conversation
Dr Stephen Frueh, acclaimed marriage coach shares his insights into the marriage conversation – a new paradigm and a creative approach to marriage that helps couples rethink and re-imagine their relationship.
Every marriage is different and you could be reading this and thinking "But what do they know about my situation?" While it is true, I don't know your particular circumstances, I do have a wonderful marriage myself, and I've done a lot of research for counselling couples in having a wonderful marriage themselves.
The thing to do with marriage advice is to make it work for your situation. Take on board what makes sense to you and try it out. Only you can make your marriage better.
Following are my top three secrets to a wonderful marriage. Hopefully, you can make this advice work for your marriage.
Secret 1 – Don’t Continue an Argument
My husband, who was married and divorced before he met me, made a great rule when we first started dating. It was born of his experience in his previous marriage and he did not want to make the same mistake twice. The rule: "You can't bring up an argument again after 7 days."
You may have heard the saying "Don't go to bed angry" and this rule follows on from it. Every effort should be made to resolve disagreements or arguments quickly. Whenever you are arguing, your marriage is not wonderful! Sometimes however, some people will need more than one day to truly resolve an issue.
This is where the rule comes in. You have just one week to resolve the issue or be upset in any way about it. THEN you just have to let it go. This rule prevents you bringing up past history in present arguments. "I'm mad because you came home late, and six months ago you also turned off the TV when I was watching it!" Arguments like this dissolve quickly into yelling messes. Stick to the present issue and resolve that.
Secret 2 – Go Back To Dating
When you were dating before your marriage, you spent lots of time together, talking, going for long walks, etc. When you get married, some people think that the hard work they put into the relationship when they were dating will be enough. It is not enough to maintain a wonderful marriage.
My favourite piece of marriage advice to couples about to tie the knot is "Go on a date once a month". At first in the marriage this is easy, especially before children come along. When children arrive, things can get very busy but this is when it is even more important.
Plan a time when babysitting is available and go out with your spouse on a date, as you used to, just the two of you. Make it into a special occasion that you both look forward to and enjoy each other's company again, without the distractions of children, work or anyone else.
Secret 3 – Enjoy Sex Together!
Yes, I did say and mean the "S" word! Making love is a joy that has been given especially for the marriage relationship and it is better than sex before marriage or in any other form of relationship. Giving each other physical pleasure in the bedroom helps you both to feel closer and can help you relieve other tensions that you may not even be aware of.
New parents often find themselves too busy or too tired and find it could be "a while between drinks", as they say. If it has been a year of drought for you in the bedroom, think about what turned you on early in the marriage. A wonderful marriage is one where each person in the marriage focuses on giving pleasure to the other one. You know what they like in the bedroom.
Make an effort, even if you are tired, to reach out to your spouse with some physical affection and see the difference it can make in your marriage.
Want More Secrets?
I did not have space here for all the marriage advice you might need. If you want to know more about having a wonderful marriage or need more marriage advice, I suggest you take a look at the Marriage Conversation podcast site by Dr Stephen Frueh. You'll find lots of great free information, articles and audios.