Marriage Can be Successful If you are Committed

Some remain committed to their marriage for their children or because of a sense of duty toward God, family, or friends. This is admirable and helps survive difficult times but to feel really happy there needs to be more than just a sense of obligation. Successful marriage depends less on compatibility than on how incompatibility is dealt with. The most essential skill is the ability to resolve disagreements in a loving way. It’s a commitment to do the daily work of keeping the commitment alive. This provides the relationship with safety a security to both that they can express their thoughts, feelings, and desires openly. Knowing that they will make it through the day-to-day challenges and life’s stressors. Offering the couple a sense of being part of a team, a desire for a future together and a desire to sacrifice for each other.

True commitment is formed by factors such as duty, trust, friendship, hard work, self sacrifice, a long-term view of your relationship. At times it may be some what humbling. Make your relationship a priority. How important is your marriage to you? How much time have I spend lately with my mate? What specific things have I done to reassure my mate of our friendship? Does my mate know I'm committed? How can we both find out?

Both take a pen and paper. Make 5 categories: money, work, marriage, entertainment, and friends. Number the list according to what you believe to be your mates' priorities. Then exchange lists and discuss what changes can be made to strengthen your commitment. You both will need to ask yourselves: What can I do to take more interest in the things that are important to my mate?

Avoid all kinds of infidelity. This gives a hard blow to your union. This includes viewing pornography. Having an affair doesn't help in any way your marriage. Forming a romantic attachment with a coworker/friend or flirting weakens the bond. Ask yourself; When was the last time I flirted with my husband/wife? If you are attracted to someone else limit contact with this person. Keep a professional level.

Take the initiative to convince your mate that you are honestly committed to your marriage. If your marriage is stable or strained look for ways to have more time with your mate. Always work hard to commit to your marriage. Actions say more than words. Find ways that reaffirms your love.

If you enter into marriage with the idea "there is always divorce" you have enter with the wrong foot. Why? As soon something comes up its so much easier to give up. Been committed to your mate and marriage is more than a legalistic obligation. It is motivated by sincere, heartfelt love a reflection of respect to one another.

Putting your marriage mate's needs and preferences ahead of your own is a way to strengthens your commitment. Speak respectfully. If a conversation starts this way it will most likely end that way. Speak with dignity, respect and affection. Under stress is hard to keep calm. Kindness and compassion can do much to smooth things out.

Show humility. Do not assign blame or insist on been right but seek the way to solve the problem. Avoid leaping into your own defense. Listen to the other's expressions. Think before a reply. Know when to keep quiet and listen with empathy. Make sure your spouse feels appreciated. Verbal and nonverbal. A gentle kiss, kind touch, warm smile can mean more than "I love you."

Finally, Be quick to forgive. It bonds and strengthens and you grow closer. Resentment and mistrust is poison. Admit that you made a mistake. A humble apology will win respect, trust and give you peace of mind. Go to bed with a clean conscience and have a good nights sleep.

• Make time for each other.
• Promote warmth, love, and affection.
• Be trustworthy and committed.
• Be kind and respectful.
• Share the workload at home.
• Contribute to mutually satisfying conversations.
• Share humor and relaxation.
• Keep working at strenghtening your marriage