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Marriage? Not til I am 30

Updated on January 13, 2012

Once women were only ever expected to get married and have children. Now it is 2012 and a new wave of independent women has emerged. Women are now putting off marriage to move forward in their careers. Some would argue that women have to work even harder, because men still make more than women despite the equal pay act. There is a “glass ceiling” if you will, which prevents women from getting where they want to be in a quick fashion. As, a result many women do not have time to date or plan for marriage and put it off.

However, some women are simply not into jumping into marriage for other reasons. I am one of those women. With the rate of successful marriages at an all-time low I am very apprehensive when it comes to getting married. While I have a happy relationship and a wonderful boyfriend I am not ready to get hitched. I am one of those women who have a lot of goals in life. I am not ready to settle down and have children. I am only 23 after all. Things have changed a lot from when my parents got married. By my age my mother was married and had one child. Yet, I have chosen to take a different path. I want to experience life, travel, meet fun people, and get an awesome internship, act, and write. I have so much I want to do before I am 30.

This lifestyle choice doesn’t come without its challenges. It requires open and honest communication with your partner. My boyfriend is well aware of my goals and the fact that I do not want rush into marriage. Sometimes we do argue over it, but it always comes down to it that it is a mutual choice between us. It is not that partners don’t care about each other or don’t feel passionate about one another either. The fact is that we don’t want to be another bad statistic. I come from a home with divorced parents so I know how difficult it can be.

I believe in making a plan and including your significant other into it. I want to achieve at least a big portion of my goals before I am 30. I do not want to revolve my whole life around being married and raising children. It is just not my thing. You have your whole life to do those things so why not just enjoy life a bit before making the plunge. Of course it depends on you and your situation. While the idea of a fabulous wedding is attractive, I think people should take their time more. You have your whole lives to be together, so what’s the rush? I am looking forward to seeing what this new wave of independent women will bring.


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    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Good for you for setting your goals. But, be aware that flexibility allows for changes in plans that are not meant to be hard core 'written in stone'. If you met the man of your dreams before 30 I would hate for you to pass him by because of your timeline.

      Living life fully is sometimes being open to receive the unexpected. Best wishes to you.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      Being an old lady I was married at 18, that was so very wrong and divorced three years later. When I meet a young person like yourself I tell them never to settle for anyone yet because you all need to see the world out there it can be amazing. This is what I did starting at 22. This was easy for me living in England and having Europe just over the English chanel and in those days it was so cheap to fly to Paris or alomst anywhere else.

      I wish you the best of luck for your future and do remember too stay young for a long time. Voted up and interesting.

    • carolp profile image

      Carolina 6 years ago from Switzerland

      I agree with you. I was married at the age of 30. I have been working 100% as a nurse since i was 24, the first time in Austria, 2 years later in Switzerland. I have traveled a lot to places i am interested to visit and back home in the Phil. several times visiting beautiful places. I likewise made time deposit savings aside from bank books. I gave birth at the age of 32 to a lovely daughter and at 36 my second child, a son. I continued working 70 % until my second baby hiring a baby sitter at home and reduce to 20 % working on weekends 2x a month as my son was born and take care of my children and brought them up until now on my own and my husband. We bought a house as my son was 1 y. o. I love watching my children grow day by day. My savings as i was a single had helped my family able to take a vacation 3 to 4 times a year. I then work once a week during week days as my son was 10 so my weekends are reserve for my family. Now my children have grown up i am working 30 % and i am planning to work 40 % or more. All these years i have been contented with my life, i do not long to go discos or go to movies frequently or parties. These i did had when i was single, of course my family go to parties, meet friends and family, but i rather stay more at home and go out with my family.

      My sister was married at 24 y. o. but she and her husband got financial problems as their 2 children came without much savings, though at the age of 56 y.o. she got her first granddaughter, then her grandson whom helped to watched them. They started to travel around where they want etc.

      So there are advantages and disadvantages of getting early and later. I believe it is important to make goals and plan for the future.

    • everythingdazzles profile image

      Janelle 6 years ago from Houston

      Yeah I just think women need to learn about themselves before they make such a big commitment. Getting married in your early 20s just seems so soon to me. Maybe that is just me. Ha! Thanks for reading.

    • profile image

      jenubouka 6 years ago

      Interesting and a very mature and realistic approach. As a woman in my thirties I still have not married, I have had the offers, yet now it is not in my future. Do I regret not taking the plunge? No, I was your age and was not mentally ready for such a concrete commitment, for I believe the vows should be taken seriously, not "till I don't want to anymore" Marriage has become a translucent form of "sounded good at the time".

      I cringed when I would hear of girls my age, ( in my 20's) were getting married because I think as a woman in this day and age, we have not discovered ourselves quite yet and to confine ourselves in a marriage at this age could hinder spiritual and mental growth.

      So hat's off to you for being conscientious about a serious life commitment.

    • Marketing Merit profile image

      C L Grant 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Only 23 years're still a baby!

      Setting goals is a great idea. Just make sure that these are flexible and not too rigid. Life has a habit of thowing us a curve ball when we least expect it.

      Entering marriage and motherhood with a sense of personal achievement and fulfillment is a postive ambition to hold.

      One obvious draw back is that Mother Nature hasn't quite caught up with the "independent woman" revolution. When I had my second child at age 32, I was classed as a "geriatric" mother!!

      Best of luck!

    • Monay Love profile image

      Fatina Mayfield 6 years ago from New York

      I respect your decision not to want to get married. It's so funny because I'm a little on the fence about the situation. One part of me wants to get married, but another part of me just wants to be happy. I agree; the marriage success rate is definitely at an all time low, however; I know there are couples who know how to make their marriage work. All in all, marriage is not for everyone. One day. I'm 24 so yea I have a lot to do before I jump the broom. Great hub!