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Having Fun Can Make You Live Happily Ever After With Your Partner
Marriage Can be Fun
J. Paul Getty, one of the wealthiest men who ever lived, said, “I would give my entire fortune for one happy marriage.” The big question is can a man and a woman really fall in love and, as the fairy tales say, live happily ever after? With the divorce rate as it is, you would think the answer is no. The divorce rate today in the world is alarming. In some countries one out of every two marriages will end in divorce.
Don’t allow anyone to convince you that happy marriages don’t exist. You cannot create a successful, happy marriage, if you don’t believe such a thing exists.Surround yourselves with couples who have been happily married 25 years or more. Those couples have weathered every possible storm and emerged better, stronger and happier than ever.
Why should we even give marriage a shot? Marriage is a part of normal life. Life, fully lived includes marriage. The institution of marriage has been tested by millions of people over the centuries and in multiple cultures, and it has not only survived but flourished. If there is a failure in a marriage, then the fault lies not with the institution but with the participants.
When dealing with marriage we are dealing with life; for marriage consists of blending of the lives of two individuals. Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationship. Marriages go through changes. They go through trials. That is why a marriage needs to be built on the right foundation, and that foundation is the Word of God, the Bible. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24).
If you want to have fun in your marriage, you have to make your marriage a priority in your life; above your hobbies, work and even your children. Most of us would say that our marriage is a priority, but do we practice what we say? Our marriage should take precedence over every other human relationship and every other activity.
Marriage was divinely sanctioned and intended for the best interests and happiness of human race. Marriage, properly consummated and maintained, gives the best insight into the happiness and genuine pleasure in life. Is your marriage fun? Do you have a good time with your spouse? Or do you have good time only when you’re out with friends? Do you play games or joke with him/her? This is an important part of marriage –it relaxes you.
We must set boundaries between our home and our work or other activities. Add to your calendar opportunities to have fun together with your spouse. When is the last time you and your partner went on a date? You should schedule time to simply enjoy life with your spouse. Sure, marriage can be fun. Just laugh and have fun. We should make sure our schedule never gets too crowded that we cannot enjoy time with the love of our life. Struggles will never completely disappear, so we should learn how to balance the need for control in our lives and the desire to live at peace and trust God through the hard times of life. It is important that you should not allow struggles that come into the marriage to tear the marriage apart, but instead you should let your trials draw you and your partner closer to each other.
I met with couples and families in crisis every week. Do you know what one of the most common similarities between them? You might be thinking poor communication, money issues, an affair, but you’re wrong. They have stopped having fun together. From the outside the marriage looked all right. But in reality they are two strangers than partners.
I guess it makes sense when you think about it for a minute. If a family or couple is in distress they argue and squabble over everything. Who wants to have fun when there is so much pain? The problem might be the shame and hurt from previous relationships that made it difficult for him/her to trust the opposite sex. But a marriage with enjoyable spouse can make a world of difference –someone who knows how to have a good time, relax, or go on an adventure.
We all need time away from all the demands of life. It’s okay to have outside interests, but one of the goals of marriage is to enjoy life together. That usually involves enjoying activities together. My wife and I love to travel. One of our more fun things to do together is to plan inexpensive day trips. There is something about physically leaving the environment in we live. We have discovered that the more we serve other people together the more fun we have in our marriage. It gives us more common ground with each other. Taking mission trips have become a fun way to spend time together.
One of the most important things you will ever do as a couple and family is having fun together. Eccleslastes 8:15 reads, “So, I’m all for just going ahead and loving a good time –the best possible.” The only earthly good men and women can look forward to eat and drink well and have a good time –compensation for the struggle for survival these few years. Any couple, who hope to exit this life together still holding hands must be friends who have fun along the way and laugh a lot.
The simple reality is this, if you stop having fun together you will stop wanting to be together. The problem is that many people dictate their ability to have fun with someone based on their feelings. This is a major mistake eventually leads to divorce. We cannot let our live be dictated by our emotions. Emotions are wonderful but they are chaotic. Go to dinner and a movie, sometimes find a great spot on the beach and chat, go to a fun activity or getaway, sometimes stay home and snuggle up.
Isaiah 40:30-31 tells us, “Even the youths shall faint and be weary. And the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
We can soar like eagles when we depend on God for the strength to do it. The next time you are on a vacation or date, and your mate (or child) does something to hurt your feelings, what are you going to do? This is an inevitable part of any relationship. Are we going to sulk, get angry, fight for our honor?
Mathew 5: 44-46 says, “But I say to you, love your enemies; desire who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. That you may be sons of your father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?”
Marriage is a funny thing. How you view it is drastically different if you are a teenager or youth with stars in your eyes compared to your vision of marriage when you are an old man or woman. How you view marriage as you age depends on how marriage has gone for you over the decades. If your marriage is rocked with difficulty, separation and other woes, age can bring a new dimension to that tension.
Moments in a marriage that may seem to be minor details have the potential for major impact on the marriage relationship. It is important to handle little issues or conflict before they become big things. If a husband and wife have a minor disagreement, it can easily escalate into a major division in the relationship if left unattended. Keep the relationship fresh and free from minor drama.
Many couples, as their children leave home, experience late in life romantic rebirths. And this kind of improved relationship with your long time spouse can bring the birth of new reactivity in many parts of your life making it one of the happiest phases of life for you and your husband or wife.
A marriage is a living thing so we can take joy from seeing it become something new at older age as we start defining marriage all over again. Success and happiness in marriage do not come by happenstance. Too many people look forward to marriage with innocent expectation, assuming that marriage will solve all problems and perplexities. Even though sweethearts are aware that their marriage can sometimes fail, the optimism of youth is so great that they harbor no other thought but that their marriage will be successful and that happiness forever after will naturally ensue.
When couples are dating they seem to have fun discussing their future plans. Once we get married they tend to lose the art of dreaming. Dreaming inspires and encourages the heart. Dreaming together as a couple keeps the relationship fueled with new passions and desires.
Marriage is what the marital partners make it. If they are listless or indifferent toward those factors that ensure success in marriage, their marriage will be a haphazard relationship with many ups and downs and with growing uncertainty as to its outcome. But if each gives sincere attention to the factors which pertain to success in marriage, the relationship will be stable and will provide a wholesome and pleasant marriage.In order to ensure the rich experiences comes to those who are happily married, both husband and wife must be willing to pay the price. The price is high and the payments are perpetual, but the value of the product far exceeds the cost.
The price of marital happiness consists of discipline, attitude, loyalties, and insights of such nature that husband and wife are able to blend their personalities harmoniously so that the bond of fellowship thus established transcends the consideration of natural differences and material possessions. It is perfectly feasible for a couple poor in this world’s goods to enjoy a richness of experience which far exceeds everything that money can buy. The marriage relationship is so much a part of life that success in life often upon success in marriage. If marriage is successful, life is full and complete, if marriage fails, life is dwarfed and crippled.
This does not mean that you will always be happy and have a good time, as if life were a never-ending party; or who always has to be sad, somber, and serious, as if life were a continual funeral. According to Ecclesiastes 3:4, “There is time to weep, and a time to laugh.”
I do know couples who have learned how to make their marriage work for the good of both spouses and are truly enjoying life together. My wife and I want to be included in the latter group. Don’t compare. One of the greatest traps in marriage is comparing yours to another. When you compare your marriage against another, it is likely you are comparing the most ordinary parts of your marriage against the most extraordinary parts of another.