- Gender and Relationships
Marriage by Allen Williams
Marriage Can Be a Wonderful Union
I hear about many studies that claim half of all marriages fail. Why is that? I happen to believe that marriages fail for many reasons, most of which cannot be pin pointed to just one or two things. Over time, without an open communication between couples, problems build up until they become next to impossible to correct or solve. They can be problems such as not paying enough attention to your spouse, not being as tidy as your spouse would like you to be, drinking or drug problems, gambling, cheating; you name it, it can be a problem. Unless you are going to discuss with your partner what bothers you, and then try to come to a reasonable solution to work it out, the marriage will ultimately fail. The key is communication. Now to be clear, I am speaking about calm, clear communication, not yelling, hitting, or threatening your spouse. Be an adult and talk things out. Sometimes they are not easy to talk about, but with regular communications you will find that you can talk about any subject matter, good or bad with your spouse in a reasonable way that does not end in anger. I have been happily married for 30 years and in those 30 years my wife and I have had very few arguments. When we did, we always talked about them and resolved them. The more open communications there are, the less arguments you will have.
Did you ever hear someone recently married refer to their spouse as their first wife, or first husband? That tells me that someday there is going to be a second one. The attitude is all wrong with that comment. Never refer to your spouse as your first marriage. It is and should be your only marriage. Your thoughts are your reality so keep them positive.
I have heard from some people that have been married for many years that the first 100 years are the hardest. I also heard from many people that have not been married very long say that the first 10 years are the hardest. In my opinion, it is how you make it and if you want to make it work. There is one drawback with that statement though; it takes two people to make a marriage work, not just one. Work together and help each other. Stand by each other and support your spouse's opinions, desires, dreams, etc. Help your spouse make his or her dreams happen and then yours will too. Marriage can be a wonderful union if you work with your spouse to make it wonderful. A good attitude is to think about what you can do to make your spouse happy, not what you can do to make you happy. Trust me, if you go out of your way to make your spouse happy, you will be happy too. Your spouse will return that happiness. Remember you married each other because you were in love, so keep that active. It takes work and below are some tips to succede!
The following 2 poems are my views about what makes a marriage successful.
It's not just the rings you exchanged on this day,
It's the vows of two hearts in love.
It's the promise of life you gave to each other,
And witnessed by God above.
Forsaking all others is part of the plan,
Till death do you part, one woman, one man.
Through richer or poorer, through sickness or health,
You swore the words all by yourself.
When times get hard and too rough to handle,
Revive your love with dinner and a candle.
Express your love day by day,
Be proud of each other in every way
Remember your vows are a solemn oath,
The words you spoke included you both.
If not forgotten and practiced each day,
That union of marriage will be here to stay.
A marriage will last forever, If you work at it all the time.
There will be good days, and bad days, and some in between days.
There will be exciting times, and happy times, and sometimes sad times.
When misunderstandings arise, and tears fill your eyes,
you need to talk about it, instead of holding it inside.
Remember the love that brought you together,
for this is the power that will keep you together forever.
Wake up in the morning with a smile, a kiss, and a hug.
Start the day off right by expressing your love.
A marriage of 50-50 will not stay together;
each partner must give 100% for it to last forever.
It's those little things that mean so much,
such as a kind word, a smile, or a soft touch.
Love has no price tag. It can't be bought or sold;
however it is the most valuable thing you will share as you grow old.
Cherish the love you have, and it will get stronger day by day.
Reconcile your differences before you go to bed at night,
so tomorrow you can start a new day with everything being all right.
Sometimes you need to compromise a little each day,
for this is not a contest of who is right or wrong;
it is a marriage, and it is here to stay.