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Marriage Not Sacred Anymore

Updated on July 1, 2017
Author Cheryl profile image

Author Cheryl is an 8 time published author. She has dedicated her life to healthcare and raising awareness of abuse and mental health.

When Marriage Becomes a Contract

I was reading an article yesterday that really made me wonder what is going on in our society. It pretty much said that marriage should be a contract and expire in two years and then if the parties feel they can't be together any longer they could just walk away with no drawn out legal battle.

I was really appalled by this because what is this saying to people? You don't have to be commited. You don't have to marry for the right reasons just try it and see if it works. I am sure all this stemmed from the Kardasian hoopla but this is how I feel about it:

I married my husband because I love him and we vowed it would be for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health meaning no matter what happens we will stay married. I believe society has lost their morals and values and what the true meaning of marriage is and the true meaning of love is. Yes people marry for different reasons but it should not be taken lightly and why should I have to decide in two years if I want to renew my marriage license.

I think people should really take a long hard look at themselves and try to realize that before deciding to get married they need to spend enough time with their partner that they know it is doable forever.

Has society become so hard core that now we must make a decision of having a contractural marriage and after the contract is up we then can walk away with no regrets, no feelings about the matter and just do it for the sake of doing it and then if I like you still after two years I will stay another two.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but this really angered me because I did not get married for the sake of assuming I would get divorced. I do realize that people change and situations change but I don't feel that people should have that option to opt out just because they married on a whim.

Until Death Us Do Part

Marriage is Not a Destination it is a State That Constantly Changes

Marriage takes a lot of work on both peoples part. The divorce rate is over 50% and why is that? We do not take our vows seriously. We don't get to know the person before we jump the gun and get married. We believe the that we can change the other person to the way we want them to be and that is farther from the truth. It's like telling yourself I can make him/her stop drinking or doing drugs. The fact is you can not make them change unless they truly want too.

People change and situations change you have to be willing to go that extra mile and change with it. We fall in love and we think that feeling will last forever until the first major fight or something drastically happens and you are not willing to be included in the solution.

My husband and I talk about everything right down to grocery shopping. What may seem trivial to some is the solution for others. My husband is my best friend and if we don't agree on something we talk about it and make suggestions. Marriage is work. Its not always peaches and cream. If you want to be married until your old, sometimes you need to sacrifice.

You Can't Change a Person

Divorce Rate For People Under 40

Age
Women
Men
Under 20 years old
27.6 percent
11.7 percent
20 to 24 years old
36.6 percent
38.8 percent
25 to 29 years old
16.4 percent
22.3 percent
30 to 34 years old
8.5 percent
11.6 percent
35 to 39 years old
5.1 percent
6.5 percent
 
 
 

Don't Let Saying I Do Become an I Don't

Source

How Social Media, Friends and Not Knowing Your Partner Play a Role in Your Marriage

In America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That's nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year.

The reason why so many marriages fail is because people do not get to know the other person well enough and when they find themselves not liking their partners habits or trying to change their partner it's too late after you say I do.

Friends are also a big issue to married couples. Your friends don't like your spouse, so any little thing they do, they want you to get rid of them. Many marriages have broken up due to friends or family members.

Social media such as Facebook have also caused marriages to end. You find your old high school sweet heart and you rekindle the flame then you find yourself in divorce court and your high school sweet heart doesn't really want you.

You have to step back from people being in your marriage. If you are having problems get marriage counseling. It's not embarrassing to know you need help to figure it all out. If more people would go to counseling, there would be less divorces.

You fell in love with that person enough to want them to be your spouse. You should love them enough to not get into other relationships at work or on social media.


What's Wrong With Marriage

Reasons Why Marriages Fail

We have become so easily selfish over the generations that all we think about is ourselves. It's I, I and I instead of we.

I totally believe when couples start calling each other names when fighting is a sign to get help. No man or woman should call their partner names.

There are so many signs to look at that your marriage is failing. Do your homework.

Sex is an important part of marriage and the source of many marriage problems. Every marriage requires the act of consummation by sexual intercourse.Failure to consummate a marriage or problems with sexual frequency, quality, and infidelity are all common reasons for marriage failure and divorce.

Financial problems, for the most part, it is the lack of open communication about money problems that jeopardizes a marriage more than the financial problems alone. Everyone has financial issues concerning bills, debts, spending and budgets. How a couple deals with those issues can make or break a relationship.

Commuincation problems come in third. If a couple has communication problems prior to marriage, those problems are likely to get worse after tying the knot. It is important that both partners are able to discuss every aspect of married life openly and on a regular basis. A marriage without two-way communication will not last long.

Family relationships with children, parents, in-laws, siblings and step-children are all sources of marital problems. Raising children increases stress in the home and can cause minor differences of opinion to become major rifts in a relationship. Discretion is the better part of valor when it comes to family and marriage.

There are other issues such as addiction, expectations and personality issues. If you fight with each other a lot before you get married then you should not get married. It will only become worse after getting married.

Don't just jump into it. Most people wait at least a year but sometimes that time does not bring out the worst in people. He/she can be perfect for a whole year and after the wedding become a total nightmare on Elm Street.


Our Parents and Grandparents Made it Last

What We Can Learn From Our Parents and Grandparents

People who have spent all of their life married to one person and celebrating their 70th wedding aniversary are the ones to ask how they did it.

They didn't get married with the intention of getting divorced. It never crossed their minds.

They knew there would be tough times, but they put their whole heart into their marriage so they were ready for those times.

They didn't carry on social relationships behind their spouses back. They had friends but their friends knew their place.

Every thing from cooking to cleaning was delegated before the marriage. You have to deal with marriage just like a job. If you can't compromise on small things then how will you compromise on big things.

They didn't hide spending money which is mostly the root of all divorces these days.

Their spouse was their equal and no one thought they were better then the other one.

You have to keep the in-love-feeling going.

Know the signs of abuse. Many people do not know that their partner is abusive until after they are married. If they become verbally, physically, emotionally and financially abusive do not wait until the next time get out.

The basic way to be like your parents and grandparents is to love with all you have, give abundantly of yourself and be the rock in times of trouble. Someone needs to lean on you and let them. Let them cry on your shoulder. Make them laugh. Be spontaneous and most of all respect them.

Sources

Find a Lifetime of Love (Todays Show) 2/12/2016 by A. Powlowski

http://www.today.com/health/how-find-lifetime-love-10-secrets-couples-married-decades-t1671

Divorce Statistics by Mickinley Irvin 10/2012

https://www.mckinleyirvin.com/Family-Law-Blog/2012/October/32-Shocking-Divorce-Statistics.aspx

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    • profile image

      Gwen 5 months ago

      This article is great. Lots of good advice and it is laid out nicely.

    • DearBandit profile image

      DearBandit 5 years ago

      I did not even know that even existed. What ever happened to getting to know the person first?

      I can understand if someone gets divorced if there is abuse, cheating and so on. You really have to work it out. Nothing in life is easy. I have been with my partner for almost 10 years now. And that has not been a walk in the park. And I am not married yet.

      I think that it does have a lot to do with society; I think you are right about that.

      Interesting Hub.

    • Author Cheryl profile image
      Author

      Cheryl A Whitsett 6 years ago from Jacksonville, Fl

      I agree ladies its not teaching children how to cope very well as adults. No wonder this world is as bad as it is because there is always someone with no morals or values that bring up this kind of nonsense.

    • tamarawilhite profile image

      Tamara Wilhite 6 years ago from Fort Worth, Texas

      Marriage has become as much a commodity as other human relationships - disposed of when no longer desirable or of use.

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US

      It really is just a silly game anymore and I wonder why they marry; it makes no sense. To have to go through all the trial of divorce when apparently it is not for religious reasons they marry anyway, why not just live with them? Or ever how many there is going to be. I believe in monogamous marriage, although it use to anger my husband a little when I said monotonous just for fun!