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Marriage on the rocks or "The ROCK"

Updated on October 1, 2013

Marriage on the rocks or "The ROCK"

Is your marriage on the rocks?
Is your marriage on the rocks?

Compassion Care & Communication

Marriage on the rocks or on “The ROCK”

Is your marriage on the rocks? Have you done, or did all that you think that you could do and you still are not happy? Do you live under the same roof and barely speak or to say the least, your communication is just not happening?

Is your physical relationship few, far and in between or basically just nonexistent? Or on the other hand is your physical relationship all you have going on? But you both are just going through the motions? Do you jump at the opportunity to spend time apart and or enjoy the company of everyone else accept one another?

When you get angry do you often resort to disrespectful name calling , foul language and go as far as far as physical blows? Are you so tired of fussing and fighting and now you just want to go your separate ways? Do either or both of you just drink yourself under the table because you just can not take life without being under the influence of something in order to function? If yes to two or more of these questions your marriage is on the rocks! You are not just having a bad day, you are relating in a very bad way.

Did you get up early on Sunday morning, get all decked up or dressed down depending where you are going or what Sunday it is and go to Church? Once you got there did you teach Sunday School, sing in the choir, participate on the praise or dance team, serve on the Deacon Board, Ushers Board, Mother’s Board, serve on the welcoming committee, lead the morning altar prayer, give an offering or pay your tithes or sit in the pulpit or the front row or any other row? (I know that was a run on sentence.) But just be patient. Did you listen to a great sermon, a good sermon, a so so sermon or was it just rhetoric or just disguised gossip or plain messy? Or did you just stay at home and turn on your television and flip through the wide assortment of religious selections and pick someone? Yet you cannot take the time to have a decent conversation with your own spouse?

I am sure that I left out some scenarios. My point is to get you thinking? You do not have to confirm any of the above to anyone else. I just want you to consider making some changes. If you don’t your relationship will just get worst. The number of marriages ending in divorce is constantly rising. Did you know that 55-60% of marriages end in divorce? Each time you remarry the percentage of it not working out rises as well. It almost sounds like a disease now, when you say you are a monogamous “heterosexual couple.” We are becoming a rare breed. This should not be!

Take some time and think about where you are. Call a truce momentarily and say “time out.” Don’t wait until someone gets sick, dies, or has an affair. Remember those vows you made to one another! At what point did they just become words? If you look around you will see that the overall quality factor in relationships is constantly dwindling. Don’t let your relationship just be one big roller coaster ride. This does not have to be. Nor is it healthy. Keeping the lines of communication open is very important in relationships Couples are changing partners as if they were a new pair of shoes. They try on this one and that one and…. It does not matter if you are rich or poor, what color you are, where you live or if you are a star or unknown….

This is ironically interesting because there are so many gadgets to communicate and stay in touch now than ever before . You can call or text anyone just about anywhere in the world 24/7. But still many live right under the same roof and cannot even talk to one another. Don’t let pride continue to widen the gap in your relationship. Don’t keep living in an unhealthy environment. Things won’t just get better. You must make your relationship a priority. Take some time when you are not angry and set aside a block of time to spend some quality time with your spouse and get your relationship off the rocks and move it to “The ROCK”.

What has happened? When did things begin to shift? Where is all the love that brought you together? True Love lasts forever. People use the word love so loosely. Since the world offers so many alternatives and loop holes it is easy to just say. “I’m done.” Next person please. If that is the case perhaps it was just what I call intoxicating affections! A good marriage takes work. At the heart of a good marriage is compassion, care and communication! A good marriage in time continues to improve and becomes refined. You work at everything else so why not start with your marriage?

Start by asking your spouse to write down 5-7 things that they would like to see different in your relationship. You do the same. Set a time frame maybe 30 minutes or so, for a little discussion. Then exchange your list with one another. See if you can immediately cross off any of those things listed immediately. For the next 5-7 days see if you can implement one of those changes each day? Just think you can rise to the occasion at work and do whatever is necessary? Yet your marriage has become an option? After a week see if your communication is beginning to improve?

Do you want your home to be a boxing ring and each spouse just stays in the corner? Or do you want it to be a place of gratification and contentment? It is possible. But is won’t just happen. Life is too short to live the majority of it unhappy. This may seem like a simple exercise; but it really is the little things that go unattended that begins to build the walls that eventually come between you. My point is to become conscious of your spouse’s feelings. Becoming more sensitive and thoughtful will help to shift some of the tension and break down the walls that have begun to come between you. Think about it? Can you think of a simple way to show them you love them “just because?” You don’t have to wait until a birthday or a holiday or ... Do something totally unexpected, today!

Pray for your spouse and also ask the Lord to show you where you need to change. When you got married you made a vow to the Lord as well. But all too often God is left out of the equation. This really is what gets your marriage on the rocks. You slowly begin to set aside His principles. The proper way to point the finger is when more fingers are pointing back at you… In order to move your relationship from on the rocks to The ROCK you must begin to embrace God’s principles. He is a solid foundation. There is a wonderful illustration that teaches us that when you build your house on The ROCK it can withstand the pressures of life. Mathew 7 tells us “There fore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built His house on The ROCK. The rain came down , the streams arose, and the winds blew and beat against that house , but it did not fall, because it has its foundation on The ROCK .”

Marriage was meant to bring one man and one woman together who are committed to one another. Begin now, to allow the Lord and His principles back in your relationship. This will also help restore or build trust and intimacy. Don’t continue to allow conflict, pride, guilt, unhappiness and shame to be the bridge between you and your spouse. Remember, at the heart of any good relationship is compassion, care and communication! To move towards building a lasting relationship is important to connect emotionally, intimately and physically with one another. In a marriage that is built upon The ROCK you can become stronger, loving, responsible, mutually satisfied, secure individuals that encourage one another to become the "Best You!" Don't waste another moment; now get busy encouraging one another to be all that you can be. PRAISE GOD!

How Do I Love Thee


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    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 6 years ago

      Stars, Thank you for your encouraging words... I pray that this has been helpful! Again, Thank you for stopping by to share! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! GOD BLESS YOU!

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Mr.s DeBorrah : Your hub is so beautiful, as you help so many people. You are truly our Lord's angel.

      God Bless You Dear, and Precious heart. You have done so much, and work so hard Dear Heart. God Bless You , and your sweet, and wonderful family.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 8 years ago


      Thank you for your kindness and for stopping by. You are right the divorce statistics continue to rise despite all of our communication gadgets? More Compassion, Care and quality intimate Communication needed.



    • marcofratelli profile image

      marcofratelli 8 years ago from Australia

      Great hub, so true. Those divorce statistics are horrible. I know Australia's statistics are similar. Given we have all the social media online these days to make communication easier and instantaneous, it makes you wonder...

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 8 years ago

      Thanks for your kind words! God gets the Glory when your marriage is built on Him! Remember to take time to enjoy one another and keep your Marriage exciting!

      You are right your "butterfly transition" Hub is great!

      You knocked it out of the park on that one!

      Thank you my friend!


    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 8 years ago


      Thank You and Bless You!

      You are so right it works beautifully! A good husband knows you are who you are because of your relationship with the Lord and would not have it any other way.

      After all he receives the benefits of Love, Compassion, Care, Communication and......

      Love & Blessings

    • skye2day profile image

      skye2day 8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      Great Hub. Love it. Really Good. I can relate.I am grateful to say we do have rocky days but we stand on the rock. God gets the Glory. 14 years. If two are not equally yoked chances are the egg will crack open. God loves marriage and it is wonderful to share the Good News with your love. If one is not a believer it is most hard. I know I was there. The marriage did not make it. Blessings my friend

      I have new hub 'butterfly transition' Love your picture

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 8 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      Wonderful HUB my love, just wonderful!!!! I am Pro Marriage as well! God first, then my husband! That's how God wants it to be! I found out it works!!!!! lol, lol AMEN! Love ya!!

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 8 years ago

      Thank You Lady E for your kind words. I am thoroughly enjoying your wonderful inspiring hubs as well!


    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 8 years ago from London, UK

      Wow! Very encouraging. Read your profile - you are such a lucky, lucky lady. May your marriage continue to grow strong and your family/children a source of inspiration and blessing to others :)

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 8 years ago

      Thank you twill4jc, I am Pro Marriage!

      We are living in some serious times. Too many marriages are breaking up all around us. I wanted to say something to get couples to think. Too many times when they seek counseling they are at the end of the road. I know it is possible to build a healthy bridge back to, or one that begins to lead you to a better healthier marriage.

      Thanks for taking time to stop by.


      Thank advisor4q

      No one is in your shoes but you. No matter how hard you try some people just don't get it.

      Emotionally abuse and neglect are just as lethal as physical abuse. Neither is ever healthy.

      Continue to take time to heal. You have gained a wealth of knowledge that will help others. Keep sharing and caring!

      Be encoouraged!

      Thanks for stopping by


    • advisor4qb profile image

      advisor4qb 8 years ago from On New Footing

      You make some very good points in this hub. In certain marriages, however, if the partner is narcissistic and does not put in an equal effort, the marriages sails off a cliff after a period "on the rocks."

      Unfortunately, some people make the awful mistake of not taking the proper "moratorium" before making a commitment to the wrong partner.

      I am the poster child for that, I guess, until now. I will be making very different decisions in future relationships.

    • twill4jc profile image

      twill4jc 8 years ago

      What a wonderful hub, and I'm glad I'm the first one to comment. Its sad to say, but yes marriages our on the rocks. Too many of the one's that are married won't own up to their mistakes and or short commings. But instead choose to lash out at their other half. Both parties should sit down like u said and talk things through and pray together too, instead of fighting each other. Anyway, good hub, greatly written!

      God bless


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