Marry for Love or Not
Marriage and committment
Did you marry for love, money, or did you marry for a Green Card?
In some cultures, if you marry for love, that means an unlucky streak.
The individual is recognized as manipulative, and as a bad person.
Why do some cultures believe this nonsense as you may think?
People from this background feel individuals are wrong, exploitative, and that there is something wrong with these individuals.
The other reason individuals are mainly taught to marry for love, and it is the right thing to do when committing to each other.
Do I love a luxury?
Marrying for love, usually means you have everything in life.
For many years Western people married for political reasons, and to have the power of money rather than love.
When marriage was about everything else but love there was no major issues, or anything to really worry about.
When couples made love the reason for marrying the divorce rate increased rapidly.
People have made marriages stronger by increasing their levels of love, and in making romance the important need for them.
In this way, the situation weakened the whole idea of a marriage.
What actually happens in a marriage is the romance fades away and love dies and in the process, emotions are not changeable.
Marrying for reasons such as having children with a partner, or of what you feel is a worthy deal to you. To parent your relationship and that all will be taken care of financially.
Also, for the need of companionship.
Such marriages last longer knowing the reason is not about love, instead of for a defined purpose.
Why is this so?
There are fewer expectations of the individual, they are themselves, and each partner is not expecting anything in return from the other, just a simple agreement is fair enough.
Some may think this way of a marriage is to settle, for but it is not to settle for but the wisdom of a marriage that is occurring more and more to least expect something from your partner.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't love your partner when you marry, but love shouldn't be the only thing in your relationship.
Far too many relationships are taken for granted and is being confused with love.
''You love the person so you got to be there and do it.'
Here is why it is not wise to marry for love.
You must have realized now how easily and quickly you can fall in and out of love, relationships end as fast as it happens.
Before you know it you want to get out of that relationship, feelings grow and change all the time.
In using love as the main connection there isn't enough glue to stick on love disappears.
If the connection is lost between two people, or as the glue dries out then where does your relationship stand for you?
Why doesn't love make a solid foundation?
Love can evaporate and this is what doesn't make love as strong as you really think it is in your world.
If you build your base on love everything crumbles if it is in a long-term relationship.
What do you really need in your relationship?
You need to share interests.
Be able to see each other through your eyes not just about love.
You need a lasting relationship together more than you need love.
Love doesn't always carry you a long way.
Love also has other meanings such as deeply caring for the other person.
A deep investment in the other person’s happiness
Life is viewed from both sides of the partners like feeling the pain of the other partner, the joy, frustration just as if it were your own emotions.
This can be useful when conflict arises in order to see both sides of the argument.
They feel the need to make each other feel appreciated.
Some people won't enter a relationship unless they feel a large portion of love for the other person. It would be meaningless.
Healthy marriages are not cold emotionless experiences it is just not mostly about love.
Love is not capricious!
If you have respect and shared goals to sign a dozen binding unbreakable contracts, and love is not there, then what you have is merely an honest business partner.
Love off-course bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.
Love is not completely lost on your list.
In my opinion, the tolerance to each other is the key to a long-term relationship
A marriage must have that deep caring appreciation for each other. Something to be worthy of and it is that deep need to work together.
In marrying for other reasons rather than love it is extremely rare to a marriage as in the above-mentioned.
You marry and take away the rights of a woman, this affects a marriage mentally and problems are faced with shamefully.
Do you think it is unfair if love is not primarily used in a marriage?
True love between any two people requires trust.
Most won't agree of this kind of marriage where love is not the primary use on the list.
Some will understand the points made here, and it can also sound cold and bitter.
Is love, respect, compatibility, shared goals, or is it shallow?
What is this hub about?
Is it about romantic love or a loveless marriage?
Western ideas of marrying for love so think about what kind of love is implied by Western marriages?
Is it always a romantic love?
People grow and change all the time is this worth considering?
Is commitment one of your shared goals?
Is acceptance part of respect?
Would you want to be in a sexless marriage?
Does love make you a better and stable person?
Does love make you take responsibility for your actions?
Is attitude the best motivator?
Do you think arranged marriages would work better in the western world?
You have the full romantic love relationship, and in hope not to lose the attraction.
To avoid ending up in a divorce you are united with a stranger with a hope that person will turn out to be a good person.
The attitude in an arranged marriage is to make it work, regardless of what others have to say.
Initially, you will have a low-emotional bond which gradually would be worked on.
Most people don't enter into romantic-love based marriages with an attitude biased towards separating it.
The love wanes but those who do are hard to be blamed.
Well, that is what I think of the situation.
Logically, there is no need to stay married if you don't have love.
The problem is most couples believe in Hollywood ideas of romance and base their relationships on a fairy tale.
You can't always like the person you marry but you also can't be in a cold relationship.
No one can be good enough you.
Love is definitely required but in spoonfuls is this how you see a marriage?
Do you think this is a silly Hub?
Due to mutual trust and devotion relationships can last longer than you expected.
Love is simply the feeling of attraction. It can be explained when there's a high level of serotonin-dopamine norepinephrine.
A feeling that makes one think of another that is what love is all about.
What is this hub telling you?
If love is highly important to you then maybe you should not marry.
The choices that women have in this modern day are fairly good and it is also fine with the institution of marriage being weakened.
Sometimes sacrifices in a marriage can put you under pressure it makes you feel better without a marriage.
One could feel trapped by marriage this for religious beliefs.
As when divorce is forbidden, and when you finally are free of such a marriage a whole new life begins with you.
To leave your past life there and to be free from a loveless marriage.
The more choices people have, the more divorces pop up.
Most people don't have to feel trapped in their relationships anymore.
Couples who have lasted in marriages for more than twenty years had at some point thought of a divorce.
That too is no perfect marriage but these couples chose not to go through a divorce for other reasons.
Love, in the sense that many think of, is a feeling that comes and goes. People can get on your nerves, they hurt your feelings, and can let you down.
Once your feelings are hurt love becomes boring and love vanishes.
The problem is that high of love comes at the beginning of a relationship naturally but over time love doesn’t come by so naturally.
Life gets in the way, the hard times interferes with the feelings of love.
It takes work to get better at what they feel or do. Most people are not raised to value others anymore. It often gets to a point when one seeks divorce because everything gets too much to handle.
Lifestyles change for the better or for the worse.
Those couples who have gone by with each other for decades and never thought of divorce are rare and blessed with such marriages.
What makes them the so good couples?
They are good at apologizing.
They remember to nurture their relationship.
They have committed to each other.
Did divorce become more common because love entered into the equation in marriage?
Did divorce become easier to obtain and more acceptable?
Did you marry for love or power?
Why Did you Choose Marriage?
Marry for love
Why did you Marry?
© 2013 Devika Primić