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  • Online Dating are Crooks

Updated on May 19, 2017

Thievery...Plain and simple.

I tried. I really tried. I tried to give every conceivable angle for which to see my problem, and make amends. I gave them every benefit of the doubt. I understand that big companies cannot do everything perfectly.

Time, emotion, and my gift for reason, all wasted. It fell on deaf ears. It fell on the ears of a company that flouts business ethics. A company that treats people's feelings as if they were belly-lint. A company that cares only about the bottom dollar, no matter how many people they screw (pardon my language) along the way.

I'm still shaking my head, since getting off of the phone with a supervisor in customer service. This article won't be that long. All I will have to do, is explain what happened to me. No hyperbole, no poetic license, no malice. Pure objectivity. This will be easy.

I've been on for roughly nine months. I joined strictly for research (I am a happily married man.) I wrote an article earlier on the flaws associated with online dating sites in general (how people can lie about their age, height, etc.), but now I will address specifically.

There are some flaws within the website itself, which are understandable. For example, people are constantly changing their photos, profile essays, etc., in order to represent themselves in their best light. There are millions of people doing this at the same time, so of course, there is some lag time between submitting the changes, and when they'll hit the account for public view. No rational human being (including myself) can find fault in that.

And, the lag times are staggered. You submit your changes, then they hit the "public view", and then they hit your view. That's not the order that I would have it be shown, but as long as I know that's how they doing it, then I'm fine with it. It could take five minutes before the changes are seen publicly, and five hours before you see the changes yourself. Okay. Fine. No problem.

However, the mobile application for, is a different animal. Since there is lag time between submitting changes, them hitting the "public view", etc., it stands to reason that there would be additional lag times between new information hitting the full website and new information hitting the mobile app. Well, it is, indeed, true and understandable. But, how do you know if the correct information is being seen on the app? Well, I asked this question on multiple occasions, and I got the same answer every time... "Whatever information is showing on the 'public view' for the full website, is the information that everyone sees." So, if I make an edit on the mobile app, and I see the edits hitting on the "public view" of the full website, then I'm good. I really hope that I'm not confusing anyone.

I've had countless misunderstandings and misinterpretations throughout my life, and I will continue to have them until the day i die. I imagine that misunderstandings and misinterpretations happen a thousand times per minute, in the business world. But, if I have a meeting of the minds with a business (meaning that we are absolutely sure that we are on the same page), and I act on that agreement, then it would be unfair for a business to renege on their side of the bargain. Am I crazy, or am I seeing things reasonably...Or both? Well, I acted on what representatives told me, and it turned out that what they told me was untrue. The "public view" on the full website, was showing my information correctly, but the app was showing my information incorrectly.

To make matters worse, there are ways to promote your profile, by buying "top spots." When you purchase these "top spots," your profile appears near the top of the searches. So, here I'm paying to be in the top spot, but the information that I believe is being shown, is not being shown. An older, non-edited profile is being shown at the top of all of the searches.

I used the app on another person's cellphone, and saw, that what they has promised, was not the case. Imagine nine months of people seeing a profile that you did not intend for them to see. Imagine paying hundreds of dollars, to gain top spots, and your information is not being seen as intended. I haven't been in the dating world for decades, but if I was single, and this had been happening to me for nine months, then I would be steaming mad. I find it painful to imagine. Heart-wrenchingly painful.

But, like I said...Misunderstandings, regardless of how much havoc they wreak, happen. All we can do is explain the situation to the one who's responsible for the misunderstanding, and the two of us search for a way to settle things., does nothing to help. I explained the exact same story to them. I told them that the damage that they had done to me was irreparable. At most, they should refund the cost of membership, top spots, and give me punitive damages in the amount of $1 billion. But, since I'm a reasonable man, I reconsidered. I suggested that, at the very least, they should give me credits for forty additional top spots (an amount equivalent to $80.) Their answer was, "I'm terribly sorry for what happened, but we can not refund any money or give credits for top spots." My jaw hit the ground. I said, "So, you're telling me that regardless of how responsible you are for this mistake... you're not going to give me any type of reimbursement?" "That's right, Sir" was their response.

I've seen a lot of disreputable behavior in the business world, but in a competitive industry like this one, and a company like - A company that spends millions of dollars a year, advertising how much their clients mean to them and how much they think about their member's feelings, etc. - It makes me nauseous.

I'm not a fan of online dating in general. I think that it is a flawed business. But if you're going to give it a try, please be careful which company you choose. If I were on a dating site, in the capacity of a single man looking for that special someone, and did what they did to me, then I would not be a happy camper.


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      John Kneale 3 months ago

      Disgusted with their underhand ways of squeezing money out of unwary lonely people.