Maybe There is a Need for a Party Line in Communication
Talk to me but don't yell please!
Mediation and communication
The party line was something I remember my late grandmother had on her phone. I would pick up to make a call and others were on there just a yakking away. Somehow I felt ( even as a small child) like I was a wrong doer and would quickly hang up. In fact even today I am not sure how one would go about knowing when it was our turn to make a call, unless I picked up again to find out if they were no longer using the phone. I never found out as it was quite uncormfortable to be on that party line.
Communication for me is the most important factor of a relationship. All forms of it too. The body language, verbal and written and spirtual as well. I have often wondered what a third party might would observe and think of some of my conversations with my kids, friends and family. If maybe they had insight that we could not hear or see based on our closeness to the situation.
Sometimes I think it would be fun to know what others might think and feel. I realize there are mediators for that and I know too well that they can help but only if both parties are willing to place themselves out of their own hurt and frustrations. Plus they are not cheap. Where can one get an unbiased ear? Hmm A perfect stranger? I wonder if they would get involved?
I imagine it takes a very brave person to ask for a strangers help and even braver for a stranger to offer assistance too.
Going back to the day of the party line, I wonder how many people listened in others conversations and then would go to that person and say" hey I heard all you two discussed and I think you were dead on or absolutely wrong" Or " you both were so correct but you two got caught up in symantics"
Ahh, An unbiased free ear and eyes would be so nice at times. We all get caught up in making our case or point and being correct that we at times forget that there are many sides to a story. With that being said, generally there is only one side to each persons feelings. A need to feel heard, listened to with open mind and heart and gently with love shown our mistakes and flaws.
I have been told by my kids an a few relationships that they feel scolded by me. That I make them feel dumb. I truly hate that and that is something I need to continue working on. For me , I have spent the majority of my life watching and observing human behavior and I forget not everyone finds so much entertainment, enlightenment and humor in us human beings.
My conclusion is that I make a great free unbiased ear but not such a great partner ... and I think I can live with that now. It is not about smarts but about hearts. I know I have one and only wish to help others.
again todays posting is about my thoughts and as long as Lord willing and I have one.... I will ( try) to leave it here :D